Waiting on Baby

Waiting on baby is getting tougher by the day. I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow and while I know they won't, I wish they'd tell me something. I still feel so grumpy every day, I want my baby, and the weather won't stop calling for snow and bad roads (does NOT help with my grumpiness!) I feel so ready to get this over with and nothing is happening. After a while, it starts to mess with your head - it's starting to feel like I just made this whole thing up and gained a lot of weight and the baby isn't actually coming. I just want my baby here in my arms and start recovering with plenty of time for Christmas. Unfortunately, the baby only has three days to come before paternity leave runs into Bill's Christmas and New Year's leave - which means he'll get all of his personal days for next year taken away, along with his excused absences days and he's not sure if he'll get holiday pay either. It really messes up quite a bit! We both really want this baby to start labor asap. Katie was so punctual, but I just have a feeling that this one won't be.

I've been exhausted today and have a terrible headache.  Yesterday was rough, I spent the whole time contracting and hurting. Today started off the same, but for the second half I've had no contractions, so there goes the hope that something might have been starting. I still feel pain in my cervix though, so hopefully that's still at work - not that anyone will tell me if it is or not!

So many people that are due 2+ weeks after me are currently having their babies. Somehow, in a group where I'm supposed to go first, it seems like I'll be last! Apparently everyone is able to go a little early but me. I know, I whine about this a lot, but I just want my baby here now. This week. And my faith of that happening is rapidly fading. I don't want another hospital birth, which is what I'm headed for. I especially don't want Christmas without my baby.