This nesting stuff is going to be the death of me.
It hit me hard about three days ago. Ever since, I've been scrubbing everything, attacking the nursery, vacuuming, and cleaning places that I can't remember having cleaned in...well, a while. But I'm still me, the tired, worn out preggo who, after ten minutes of cleaning, needs a nap. So obviously these two sides of me are clashing and driving me nuts. Every time I go to sit down for five minutes to rest, my body gets jittery. I start thinking about all the stuff I could be doing. And before you know it, I'm on my feet again - which, btw, are beginning to cry because they aren't used to this either. They especially aren't used to me being on them all day and night with an extra 20 pounds added on.
But it even affects me at bedtime. Katie has been doing great lately, she's been going to bed over 4 hours early for the last few nights. Sounds like paradise, doesn't it? Extra sleep for the nesting pregnant woman. But NOPE! Every night I text Bill goodnight because I'll be long asleep by the time he gets home. And then he gets home and finds me downstairs, wide awake and either on the computer or cleaning because guess what? I can't sleep! I have no naps during the day, I'm cleaning and active all day, and then I can't sleep at night. What is that about? It's not like I'm energetic - I'm dragging and tired all day. But it's like my body belongs to someone else, someone who's a cleaning freak and keeps making me stand up and move and keep going.
My house sure is looking nicer lately, but come on, slow down! Baby isn't going to be here for at least 15 weeks yet (I'm assuming - actually, I feel 99.9% positive that I'll be at least three to five days late) there's NO reason why everything must look spotless now. Doing it now means it won't be clean later! lol
With that said though, I managed to move about half of the stuff from the nursery and put it at the bottom of the attic stairs. I've been going through everything in the room and sorting what needs to go in the attic storage and what needs to fit in the nursery. I've been trying to figure out, among my multiple giant teddy bears and 5 foot Mickeys, where to put the swing this time, and where to store the car seat and other large items that are currently waiting for homes. I also need to redo the entire dresser because somehow, even though I still don't feel prepared enough in clothing, my drawers are too filled to fit more in. Two bottom drawers are just bedding and blankets though, so it's only two clothing drawers and that includes everything up until 6 months. But it's definitely time to re-evaluate what I have. I'm getting 5 more sleepers in the mail next week to add to it as well, all 0-3 and 3-6. If I'm super lucky, I just need to grab one or two more packs of the long sleeve newborn swaddle shirts and I'll be all ready with clothing for this baby for the first 6 months at least.
Thinking today I'll grab an easy dinner like frozen pizza to go with, because cooking on top of cleaning is just madness!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
25 Weeks Part 2
There are few things that are more exciting to come home to than multiple packages on your porch. Especially when one is three feet tall! Disney seems to have rushed my order, I swear I only ordered it like 2 or 3 days ago and it usually takes them two weeks!
I also got my zulily order too, so aside from a bunch of Katie Christmas gifts, I also got Will's gifts and a few more outfits for him:
The "P" bag is a small bag of pads
I also got my zulily order too, so aside from a bunch of Katie Christmas gifts, I also got Will's gifts and a few more outfits for him:
Motorcycle Mickey Shirt:
"Lord of the Rings" long sleeve onesie with baby leg warmers - they're mostly blue stripes with a rainbow stripe at the bottom.
And matching shirts for the siblings!
On the way back from Katie's doctor's visit, we had to make an emergency yarn stop at Walmart for an order that was paid for but isn't complete. While there, I also quick grabbed some newborn diapers and a to go bag of wipes for my hospital bag. Yep, I'm packing!
Here's my hospital bag again:
And this is everything I have so far:
Pictured above is:
The "P" bag is a small bag of pads
to go box of baby wipes
Peri Bottles (I have more of them, but
I need to find them. I think I only used 2 last time though)
Sleeper outfit and hat in size 0-3 in case baby is bigger
Newborn Outfit (newborn swaddle shirt, pants with feet, matching hat, mittens)
Moldable ice pack
Inflatable donut (for driving home with the broken tailbone
...and for a few weeks after)
Newborn Diapers
Of course I still have a lot to pack, but that's a pretty good start! I have the birthing gowns, if I need them, already packaged up. I just need to find them in my piles of maternity clothes. I found a bikini top that should fit me, which I'm packing for the water birth, just need to add it. So this is something that can quickly come together, there's not much I need to buy.
I did find these though, that after reading reviews (and talking to a few people who used them) I decided to get some for the first week during the night. It should help a lot, as I had a lot of leakage problems for a few days last time. This is supposed to have no leaks at all even for the heaviest days and post partem. Definitely worth a try:
I saw today that Walmart's crib mattresses are on sale right now, so I'm going to try and pick one up soon. Katie needs one for her toddler bed that I'll hopefully be getting soon, and it's currently half off the price (and those things are so expensive!) Hopefully I'll be able to afford to buy her an adorable Minnie Mouse bedding set as well to put on it right away.
I actually took pregnancy pictures already today (yeah, before 9 PM - I'm getting better!) but I haven't edited them with all the words yet, so I'll be posting that a bit later.
25 Weeks
25 weeks today!
There are few things better than waking up and reading that baby is now capable of breathing with their lungs, has a good survival rate, and that pretty much everything is all developed and just has to get bigger, fatter and work on nerve development. Everything is now functioning to practice for the outside world.
What's also crazy - I have 105 days to go. Which means that during this week, I'll fall into the double digit days. What?? Already??
I thought it was fast when I only had 200 day to go. Now I'm going to be dipping under 100. This baby, he's rushing through this pregnancy, I swear!
This weekend I'm picking up hospital bag supplies. Yep, that panicky feeling that not enough is done is totally overdue and in hyperdrive. Time to grab our first pack of diapers, pack what baby, daddy and I will all need, and maybe even grab some of Katie's supplies for her bag (I'm thinking of everything - so she needs a few pairs of clothing and pajamas, her favorite juice cup, a new juice cup in case she gets cranky - this kid loves new juice cups - and a few other things to go in there for her stay. I'm hoping to only be gone for half a day, but if something changes and I have to be gone for a few days, I want her already as prepared as possible.)
I finally got my tired butt into gear, which means the downstairs is finally clean. All my dishes done at once, the counters and stove scrubbed, the floors vacuumed, the living room organized, the dining room finished of it's make over, the bathroom nice and shiny, etc. Now I can start paying attention to the nursery again. It needs to stop being a storage room and have everything sorted and in place. It's time for it to start looking like a baby's room again!
Of course, looking back at Katie's blog, by 25 weeks I was totally prepared. Nursery was spotless and everything was bought, the hospital bags were mostly ready, the birth plan was written - I was so prepared! This time I'm taking it a bit slower, but not by too much. If it's not all completed by 30 weeks, I know I won't be able to sleep anymore and I'll be working through the night to get things done.
Picture coming later, we're getting ready to take Katie to her new doctor!
There are few things better than waking up and reading that baby is now capable of breathing with their lungs, has a good survival rate, and that pretty much everything is all developed and just has to get bigger, fatter and work on nerve development. Everything is now functioning to practice for the outside world.
What's also crazy - I have 105 days to go. Which means that during this week, I'll fall into the double digit days. What?? Already??
I thought it was fast when I only had 200 day to go. Now I'm going to be dipping under 100. This baby, he's rushing through this pregnancy, I swear!
This weekend I'm picking up hospital bag supplies. Yep, that panicky feeling that not enough is done is totally overdue and in hyperdrive. Time to grab our first pack of diapers, pack what baby, daddy and I will all need, and maybe even grab some of Katie's supplies for her bag (I'm thinking of everything - so she needs a few pairs of clothing and pajamas, her favorite juice cup, a new juice cup in case she gets cranky - this kid loves new juice cups - and a few other things to go in there for her stay. I'm hoping to only be gone for half a day, but if something changes and I have to be gone for a few days, I want her already as prepared as possible.)
I finally got my tired butt into gear, which means the downstairs is finally clean. All my dishes done at once, the counters and stove scrubbed, the floors vacuumed, the living room organized, the dining room finished of it's make over, the bathroom nice and shiny, etc. Now I can start paying attention to the nursery again. It needs to stop being a storage room and have everything sorted and in place. It's time for it to start looking like a baby's room again!
Of course, looking back at Katie's blog, by 25 weeks I was totally prepared. Nursery was spotless and everything was bought, the hospital bags were mostly ready, the birth plan was written - I was so prepared! This time I'm taking it a bit slower, but not by too much. If it's not all completed by 30 weeks, I know I won't be able to sleep anymore and I'll be working through the night to get things done.
Picture coming later, we're getting ready to take Katie to her new doctor!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
24.5 weeks
Wow, I'm already so close to completing this week. It feels like it's gone by very slow and very quickly at the same time.
It's been a rough week. The exhaustion is getting worse, and I know it'll only continue to do so as I get farther into pregnancy. Even taking a nap with Katie during the day just isn't cutting it. I don't sleep well at night either, and the baby keeps me up late because he's crazy energetic after midnight. He's strong enough where even if I'm sleeping and he starts rolling and kicking, I can't sleep through it. So...exhaustion is pretty much the best way to describe every day of this week.
I'm also having a hard time breathing. I feel asthmatic. Yesterday I rushed up the stairs and then couldn't breathe for five minutes. I understood why and just mentally told myself how stupid that was while gasping for breath. But there are times when I'm just sitting down and I'm not able to breathe. Baby is already at the stage where he's taking up so much room that my lungs are being pushed up and crushed. I don't remember getting like this with Katie until much later in third tri, but it's definitely happening now. For the last week, breathing even while not doing anything can be rough.
There's so much pressure on my lower body right now as well. My tailbone and pelvis feels like they're cracking. I'm waddling now, I'm sure. My belly is sore from all the weight it's holding. Again, this seems so early compared to last time. Third tri with Katie was really rough, I can't imagine how this time is going to be.
But there's good things too. There's less fear having a viable baby now. His movements are so pronounced that I can start to tell what body parts are where. On Sunday, this baby curled up on the surface in a little comma shape at the bottom of my uterus. I could actually feel a lot of his body just cuddled up. It was adorable, and made me yearn for the time when he'll be here and I'll be able to cuddle him in my arms.
This was the best picture I could get of him, it's hard to see but it's something he's only done a few times before:
Here's his Christmas this year: (and I hit two big sales, so everything was half off!)
This is really big, it's a taggie play mat. The baby sits on the belly:
And Katie insisted that the baby needed the matching on the go toy as well:
I just have one more thing I need to get him:
It's been a rough week. The exhaustion is getting worse, and I know it'll only continue to do so as I get farther into pregnancy. Even taking a nap with Katie during the day just isn't cutting it. I don't sleep well at night either, and the baby keeps me up late because he's crazy energetic after midnight. He's strong enough where even if I'm sleeping and he starts rolling and kicking, I can't sleep through it. So...exhaustion is pretty much the best way to describe every day of this week.
I'm also having a hard time breathing. I feel asthmatic. Yesterday I rushed up the stairs and then couldn't breathe for five minutes. I understood why and just mentally told myself how stupid that was while gasping for breath. But there are times when I'm just sitting down and I'm not able to breathe. Baby is already at the stage where he's taking up so much room that my lungs are being pushed up and crushed. I don't remember getting like this with Katie until much later in third tri, but it's definitely happening now. For the last week, breathing even while not doing anything can be rough.
There's so much pressure on my lower body right now as well. My tailbone and pelvis feels like they're cracking. I'm waddling now, I'm sure. My belly is sore from all the weight it's holding. Again, this seems so early compared to last time. Third tri with Katie was really rough, I can't imagine how this time is going to be.
But there's good things too. There's less fear having a viable baby now. His movements are so pronounced that I can start to tell what body parts are where. On Sunday, this baby curled up on the surface in a little comma shape at the bottom of my uterus. I could actually feel a lot of his body just cuddled up. It was adorable, and made me yearn for the time when he'll be here and I'll be able to cuddle him in my arms.
This was the best picture I could get of him, it's hard to see but it's something he's only done a few times before:
Katie used to do the craziest of positions in the womb. Like multiple other things, this baby seems like he's going to start a bit earlier.
I also had a lot of fun buying his Christmas stuff. I decided that since he doesn't have a birthday in the middle of the year like Katie does, I'm going to still buy him Christmas presents so he has toys for his first year. Not to mention, it would feel so wrong to me to have another baby and not have his name on some gifts under the tree!
Here's his Christmas this year: (and I hit two big sales, so everything was half off!)
This is really big, it's a taggie play mat. The baby sits on the belly:
And Katie insisted that the baby needed the matching on the go toy as well:
I just have one more thing I need to get him:
Thursday, August 22, 2013
24 Weeks!
It's Viability Day!
And guess how I started off today? I woke up and checked the mail right away like always and found a little package that I didn't recognize. I have like six packages making their way to me right now, but none due right now and none that small.
When I opened it, I saw that it was one of Elizabeth's charities, from all the way back in January. Of course I had completely forgotten about it. It's a little embroidered hankie in a deep purple thread with her name and the date that it happened.
I haven't received anything for Elizabeth in quite a few months. I wasn't expecting anything else to come. How crazy that today, on Will's Viability Day, I'd get a little sweet reminder of Elizabeth? It just makes me appreciate this day a little more. We've made it to 24 weeks, the safest milestone yet, and our angel is right here to experience it with us.
So what's new this week with Will, besides viability? Lots! By the end of this week, he'll be a whole two pounds and 14 inches long. Holy cow! His ears and hearing are completed, his little tiny fingernails and toenails are finished, his boy parts are becoming more boy like, and his lungs continue to develop and are now able to inflate and deflate.
A few days ago, Bill FINALLY felt the baby. I've been feeling him on the outside since 18 weeks but this baby is so sneaky and didn't want anyone, including even Katie, to feel him. (Though Katie was the same way!) I finally decided to look at it positively - for 23 weeks, I've been the only one in the whole world to feel this baby. Soon he'll be everyone's baby and everyone will know him and be able to touch him but right now, I'm the sole person in the world to know him. It felt pretty neat...and then that night I was sitting with Bill and he hand his hand at the side of my belly and all of a sudden, Will started kicking over there like crazy and erased all of the above. lol, he's so tricky!
As for me, I'm becoming much more hormonal. I never got very hormonal with Katie, especially not in the later months, but this time my emotions are all over. I was literally start crying and then try to figure out why in the world I am acting upset. I have much less patience and I'm grumpier. I thought having a girl made you more emotional, but apparently for me it's having a boy. There's lots of differences in this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Katie and they just continue.
My scale is saying I'm now 132.6. It's what I go by, but in reality (aka, the doctor's office) I'm about two lbs less each time I measure so I'm probably 130. 6 now. Either way, both weights are still in the green and I'm gaining exactly like I should be. From what I read, I should start gaining a pound a week, which made me laugh - I've been gaining a pound a week for most of this pregnancy! LOL. It's third tri where it starts gaining faster.
So far I have no sign of the linea negra. I know I had it really dark with Katie, but looking at my pictures from her, they're all at an angle where I can't see it, so I have no idea when it appeared. I thought it would happen by now, maybe because I'm just so big and feel even further along. I'm sure at some point it'll catch up to me, but I'm surprised with other things changing and darkening that the line hasn't even started. How funny that last time I was so obsessed daily about stretch marks (this time I occasionally check - nothing new or worse and even my scars are less noticable this time) and this time I'm just curious about the dark line.
Picture to come later - I'm too sore to go all the way upstairs and get dressed for it!
Edit: here's this week's picture!
And guess how I started off today? I woke up and checked the mail right away like always and found a little package that I didn't recognize. I have like six packages making their way to me right now, but none due right now and none that small.
When I opened it, I saw that it was one of Elizabeth's charities, from all the way back in January. Of course I had completely forgotten about it. It's a little embroidered hankie in a deep purple thread with her name and the date that it happened.
I haven't received anything for Elizabeth in quite a few months. I wasn't expecting anything else to come. How crazy that today, on Will's Viability Day, I'd get a little sweet reminder of Elizabeth? It just makes me appreciate this day a little more. We've made it to 24 weeks, the safest milestone yet, and our angel is right here to experience it with us.
So what's new this week with Will, besides viability? Lots! By the end of this week, he'll be a whole two pounds and 14 inches long. Holy cow! His ears and hearing are completed, his little tiny fingernails and toenails are finished, his boy parts are becoming more boy like, and his lungs continue to develop and are now able to inflate and deflate.
A few days ago, Bill FINALLY felt the baby. I've been feeling him on the outside since 18 weeks but this baby is so sneaky and didn't want anyone, including even Katie, to feel him. (Though Katie was the same way!) I finally decided to look at it positively - for 23 weeks, I've been the only one in the whole world to feel this baby. Soon he'll be everyone's baby and everyone will know him and be able to touch him but right now, I'm the sole person in the world to know him. It felt pretty neat...and then that night I was sitting with Bill and he hand his hand at the side of my belly and all of a sudden, Will started kicking over there like crazy and erased all of the above. lol, he's so tricky!
As for me, I'm becoming much more hormonal. I never got very hormonal with Katie, especially not in the later months, but this time my emotions are all over. I was literally start crying and then try to figure out why in the world I am acting upset. I have much less patience and I'm grumpier. I thought having a girl made you more emotional, but apparently for me it's having a boy. There's lots of differences in this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Katie and they just continue.
My scale is saying I'm now 132.6. It's what I go by, but in reality (aka, the doctor's office) I'm about two lbs less each time I measure so I'm probably 130. 6 now. Either way, both weights are still in the green and I'm gaining exactly like I should be. From what I read, I should start gaining a pound a week, which made me laugh - I've been gaining a pound a week for most of this pregnancy! LOL. It's third tri where it starts gaining faster.
So far I have no sign of the linea negra. I know I had it really dark with Katie, but looking at my pictures from her, they're all at an angle where I can't see it, so I have no idea when it appeared. I thought it would happen by now, maybe because I'm just so big and feel even further along. I'm sure at some point it'll catch up to me, but I'm surprised with other things changing and darkening that the line hasn't even started. How funny that last time I was so obsessed daily about stretch marks (this time I occasionally check - nothing new or worse and even my scars are less noticable this time) and this time I'm just curious about the dark line.
Picture to come later - I'm too sore to go all the way upstairs and get dressed for it!
Edit: here's this week's picture!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Viability Day!
It's just past midnight, and it feels like I just passed the finish line in a race. Of course, it's not the finish line, no where close, but it is a big milestone.
This baby is now viable!
It feels like such a big event this time. I know bad things still happen after 24 weeks, I understand that. But there's some security in knowing that the chances of survival are much higher this week and that he would now be viewed as his own person, a separate patient with his own team of medical workers if something would happen before it should. That's saying SO much compared to last week, where he'd be considered a late natural abortion and be put somewhere comfortable, not hooked up to machines or treated to help survival. This baby, from now on, has a serious fighting chance of survival outside of my womb if that would need to happen.
And in about two or four weeks? The survival rate sky rockets to about 80% and only continues to climb higher and higher after that.
After spending a full four months scared to do anything, afraid to go to the bathroom or do too much activity or even breathe wrong, this is so huge for me. Everything that happened with Elizabeth happened so recently still that it has impacted this pregnancy in multiple ways. While this pregnancy has been such a blessing physically with no complications, mentally and emotionally it's been very difficult. I struggled a lot in first trimester and part of second trimester. I finally feel like I'm over a hump, but having the security of this latest milestone helped even more.
I feel like I'm mentally throwing myself a little party for the two of us. What's funny is baby, who's been asleep for a while, just woke up to join the party and is dancing away in there. I can definitely believe he's over a foot long now, because wow does he take up so much room! I told Bill how big baby is now and he said "but he can't fit in there that big yet, you're not big enough!" I certainly don't feel big enough most of the time, it also seems like baby is going to pop right out of my skin! He's definitely running out of room and pushing to try and make more. I think he's hoping I start growing, and I think he's going through a growth spurt too. This whole week I've had a normal appetite, nothing big, and then today I could not stop eating. I out-ate Bill and Katie combined!
Just four weeks until third tri. I can hardly believe it! These weeks are going by faster and faster, I'll be holding this baby before I know it!
This baby is now viable!
It feels like such a big event this time. I know bad things still happen after 24 weeks, I understand that. But there's some security in knowing that the chances of survival are much higher this week and that he would now be viewed as his own person, a separate patient with his own team of medical workers if something would happen before it should. That's saying SO much compared to last week, where he'd be considered a late natural abortion and be put somewhere comfortable, not hooked up to machines or treated to help survival. This baby, from now on, has a serious fighting chance of survival outside of my womb if that would need to happen.
And in about two or four weeks? The survival rate sky rockets to about 80% and only continues to climb higher and higher after that.
After spending a full four months scared to do anything, afraid to go to the bathroom or do too much activity or even breathe wrong, this is so huge for me. Everything that happened with Elizabeth happened so recently still that it has impacted this pregnancy in multiple ways. While this pregnancy has been such a blessing physically with no complications, mentally and emotionally it's been very difficult. I struggled a lot in first trimester and part of second trimester. I finally feel like I'm over a hump, but having the security of this latest milestone helped even more.
I feel like I'm mentally throwing myself a little party for the two of us. What's funny is baby, who's been asleep for a while, just woke up to join the party and is dancing away in there. I can definitely believe he's over a foot long now, because wow does he take up so much room! I told Bill how big baby is now and he said "but he can't fit in there that big yet, you're not big enough!" I certainly don't feel big enough most of the time, it also seems like baby is going to pop right out of my skin! He's definitely running out of room and pushing to try and make more. I think he's hoping I start growing, and I think he's going through a growth spurt too. This whole week I've had a normal appetite, nothing big, and then today I could not stop eating. I out-ate Bill and Katie combined!
Just four weeks until third tri. I can hardly believe it! These weeks are going by faster and faster, I'll be holding this baby before I know it!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Healing Lion
Someone on my baby board asked what everyone's baby names mean. I already knew William meant Guardian and Protector, but it had only just occurred to me that I had never looked up what Lee means.
Lee means Lion.
It just feels like more of a connection to Elizabeth. She was our little lion cub. Through my whole pregnancy with her, I called her my little cubby. Her symbol was a lion, and the stuffed animal that I had bought her (and Katie picked out) was a little lion. That little lion was what we cuddled and slept with after my miscarriage to help have SOMETHING to hold. She was our lion. And now a little piece of her is tucked into our little boy's name. How very meaningful, for our child who wouldn't be here without Elizabeth.
Lee means Healer.
How poetic is that? Will is our rainbow. Before him, I think my blog made it very evident that I felt very empty and hopeless. I was shattered, and while I was trying to cope, I didn't know how to heal. How do you move on when such a big piece of your heart is missing? How do you stop thinking of "what should have been?" As much as I tried and struggled, I couldn't put myself back together. And then those two lines appeared and that nurse told me that I was pregnant. While I will never "move on" from losing Elizabeth, Will helped me to slowly piece back my heart and to learn how to step back into the light. He was the glue to my sanity. He was my rainbow in my stormy skies. Will brought me out of my never ending, overwhelming, all consuming pain. He's not even born yet, but he has done so much for me already. I know God sent me this baby to heal me, and heal, as much as ever could be possible, I have.
I love that while this name is a family name, it's something that fits so perfectly for this unique baby and this situation. I love that we hadn't planned it, but yet another tie shows itself. It seems like this baby and Elizabeth are so entwined, it's like they were twins who were meant to inhabit the same space at the same time. Every few weeks, while going about this pregnancy and not thinking about anything in particular, something else occurs to me and seems like it's a little message from Elizabeth, telling me she's watching over us and her beloved little brother. So many times she seems to make her presence known through this pregnancy.
Katie is my Pure Beauty, Elizabeth is God's Daughter and God's Promise, and Will is our little Guardian, our fierce little fiery lion, and My Healer.
Lee means Lion.
It just feels like more of a connection to Elizabeth. She was our little lion cub. Through my whole pregnancy with her, I called her my little cubby. Her symbol was a lion, and the stuffed animal that I had bought her (and Katie picked out) was a little lion. That little lion was what we cuddled and slept with after my miscarriage to help have SOMETHING to hold. She was our lion. And now a little piece of her is tucked into our little boy's name. How very meaningful, for our child who wouldn't be here without Elizabeth.
Lee means Healer.
How poetic is that? Will is our rainbow. Before him, I think my blog made it very evident that I felt very empty and hopeless. I was shattered, and while I was trying to cope, I didn't know how to heal. How do you move on when such a big piece of your heart is missing? How do you stop thinking of "what should have been?" As much as I tried and struggled, I couldn't put myself back together. And then those two lines appeared and that nurse told me that I was pregnant. While I will never "move on" from losing Elizabeth, Will helped me to slowly piece back my heart and to learn how to step back into the light. He was the glue to my sanity. He was my rainbow in my stormy skies. Will brought me out of my never ending, overwhelming, all consuming pain. He's not even born yet, but he has done so much for me already. I know God sent me this baby to heal me, and heal, as much as ever could be possible, I have.
I love that while this name is a family name, it's something that fits so perfectly for this unique baby and this situation. I love that we hadn't planned it, but yet another tie shows itself. It seems like this baby and Elizabeth are so entwined, it's like they were twins who were meant to inhabit the same space at the same time. Every few weeks, while going about this pregnancy and not thinking about anything in particular, something else occurs to me and seems like it's a little message from Elizabeth, telling me she's watching over us and her beloved little brother. So many times she seems to make her presence known through this pregnancy.
Katie is my Pure Beauty, Elizabeth is God's Daughter and God's Promise, and Will is our little Guardian, our fierce little fiery lion, and My Healer.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
23 Weeks!
Yesterday after the baby appointment, I had to stop in at Katie's old pediatricians office to get them to fax her records to the new pediatrician's office. While there, I walked by a newborn baby who couldn't have been more than a week old.
Holy cow.
This whole time that I've been buying, washing, sorting and folding Will's clothing, I thought that the clothes looked not that small. Definitely a managable size for a baby. But then I saw a baby in the clothes and WOW, that baby is TINY. It wasn't a big deal last time, really - I had nothing to compare it to on a daily basis. Katie was just baby size. But now I have this giant of a toddler, and let me tell you, she looked huge compared to that baby. It totally freaked me out - how do I handle something that tiny? I'm used to this rough and tumble big girl! Even though I don't really get worried over much with this baby - I'm secure in my ability to breastfeed, I'll get through labor somehow, and there's not much for me to do about circumcision but pray...but how am I supposed to hold this little baby? It's going to be such a big adjustment. It's so strange to start over. It's only been two years and it feels like I forgot so much. I'm used to this big kid who feeds herself, drinks from her juice cup, puts herself to sleep, entertains herself, and is able to tell me what hurts, what she wants, and where she wants to go. This baby is going to cry and I'm just supposed to know what he wants! He won't be able to entertain himself, heck he won't even be able to support his own head! Starting over with a helpless little baby seems so odd. I'm not even sure why it seems so odd, but it does. I absolutely can not wait to have this baby (well, I'd rather hold off on the delivery, or skip it - just one day wake up with him in my arms! lol) but it's crazy to think of how much I have to relearn!
With Katie, there was a post on one site where you'd guess what your baby would weigh, hair/eye color, what date you'd give birth, etc. It popped up again today, and I decided I'd do it. The closer I get to having the baby, the more curious I get about how he'll be. Bill and I together have a great amount of combinations, especially since it's obvious that his genes are strong enough to come through and beat mine. With his blonde hair, blue eyed family with red heads mixed in and my brown and black haired family with green, blue and brown eyes, this baby can pretty much come out looking like anything! I don't even know what combination I'd prefer (I know with Katie I kept saying I'd love for her to have curly blonde hair and blue eyes, never ever thinking she'd actually get any of them!) but I can't decide what I'd like for Will. Brown hair and blue eyes or brown hair and green eyes like Katie's would be beautiful, but so would blonde hair and brown eyes (especially with freckles!), brown hair and brown eyes, or a little boy who looks just like Katie. I can't wait to see what he comes out with!
But anyway, here are my guesses for Will:
Due Date: My doctor given due date is 12.12. That's basing off of the average woman's cycles, not my own. I know that this baby is actually due 12.15. He always measures exactly three days behind every time, and my ovulation has not been around day 14 for a long time, it's been later than that almost every month since my cycles returned while breastfeeding Katie. I feel very sure that if I wasn't induced with Katie, she would have naturally come 4-5 days late. I base this off of my body's very near readiness to go into labor on it's own and how my body so readily took to the foly bulb when given that little push. I'm going to say it'll be about the same for this one. I think I'll go around December 20th with him.
Weight: My weight and measurements along with baby's are very close to what Katie and I weighed last time, so I'm going to say that it'll be close to Katie but probably a little bit bigger. I'm estimating that, unless something changes through third tri, the baby will be about 8lbs, 2 oz. Possibly a few ounces bigger, but I'm thinking it'll be right around there.
Length: 23 inches. Katie was a little over 22 inches. This baby feels a bit taller.
Hair color: I have no idea what his hair color will end up being, but I'm betting it'll be dark when he first comes out. I'm not so sure he'll have as much hair as Katie though.
Eye color: This one I have no idea. Obviously he'll be born with blue eyes, but I don't know what they'll end up being. Anything from blue, green to brown is a big possibility. I'm just going to guess blue and stick with that.
My official weight on the doctor's scale (which used to be the exact same as my scale, but now they don't match up as much) is 129.5 lbs, which puts me at 15.5 lb weight gain, still exactly where I should be.
But currently, this baby weighs about 1 1/2 lbs already and is a foot long. He's on his way to getting to be the size of a term baby, though I can't imagine how I"m going to fit him as he keeps growing. Constantly, he's stretching out. I get weird kicks and punches on opposite ends of my belly at the same time. He also sticks out his feet and stretches up his arms so I suddenly have all these weird lumps at opposing areas of my belly. I don't remember Katie stretching so much, it seems like this baby doesn't have enough space to his liking already and is trying to make more. I have no idea what he does in there half the time, but he makes some internal things hurt!
Holy cow.
This whole time that I've been buying, washing, sorting and folding Will's clothing, I thought that the clothes looked not that small. Definitely a managable size for a baby. But then I saw a baby in the clothes and WOW, that baby is TINY. It wasn't a big deal last time, really - I had nothing to compare it to on a daily basis. Katie was just baby size. But now I have this giant of a toddler, and let me tell you, she looked huge compared to that baby. It totally freaked me out - how do I handle something that tiny? I'm used to this rough and tumble big girl! Even though I don't really get worried over much with this baby - I'm secure in my ability to breastfeed, I'll get through labor somehow, and there's not much for me to do about circumcision but pray...but how am I supposed to hold this little baby? It's going to be such a big adjustment. It's so strange to start over. It's only been two years and it feels like I forgot so much. I'm used to this big kid who feeds herself, drinks from her juice cup, puts herself to sleep, entertains herself, and is able to tell me what hurts, what she wants, and where she wants to go. This baby is going to cry and I'm just supposed to know what he wants! He won't be able to entertain himself, heck he won't even be able to support his own head! Starting over with a helpless little baby seems so odd. I'm not even sure why it seems so odd, but it does. I absolutely can not wait to have this baby (well, I'd rather hold off on the delivery, or skip it - just one day wake up with him in my arms! lol) but it's crazy to think of how much I have to relearn!
With Katie, there was a post on one site where you'd guess what your baby would weigh, hair/eye color, what date you'd give birth, etc. It popped up again today, and I decided I'd do it. The closer I get to having the baby, the more curious I get about how he'll be. Bill and I together have a great amount of combinations, especially since it's obvious that his genes are strong enough to come through and beat mine. With his blonde hair, blue eyed family with red heads mixed in and my brown and black haired family with green, blue and brown eyes, this baby can pretty much come out looking like anything! I don't even know what combination I'd prefer (I know with Katie I kept saying I'd love for her to have curly blonde hair and blue eyes, never ever thinking she'd actually get any of them!) but I can't decide what I'd like for Will. Brown hair and blue eyes or brown hair and green eyes like Katie's would be beautiful, but so would blonde hair and brown eyes (especially with freckles!), brown hair and brown eyes, or a little boy who looks just like Katie. I can't wait to see what he comes out with!
But anyway, here are my guesses for Will:
Due Date: My doctor given due date is 12.12. That's basing off of the average woman's cycles, not my own. I know that this baby is actually due 12.15. He always measures exactly three days behind every time, and my ovulation has not been around day 14 for a long time, it's been later than that almost every month since my cycles returned while breastfeeding Katie. I feel very sure that if I wasn't induced with Katie, she would have naturally come 4-5 days late. I base this off of my body's very near readiness to go into labor on it's own and how my body so readily took to the foly bulb when given that little push. I'm going to say it'll be about the same for this one. I think I'll go around December 20th with him.
Weight: My weight and measurements along with baby's are very close to what Katie and I weighed last time, so I'm going to say that it'll be close to Katie but probably a little bit bigger. I'm estimating that, unless something changes through third tri, the baby will be about 8lbs, 2 oz. Possibly a few ounces bigger, but I'm thinking it'll be right around there.
Length: 23 inches. Katie was a little over 22 inches. This baby feels a bit taller.
Hair color: I have no idea what his hair color will end up being, but I'm betting it'll be dark when he first comes out. I'm not so sure he'll have as much hair as Katie though.
Eye color: This one I have no idea. Obviously he'll be born with blue eyes, but I don't know what they'll end up being. Anything from blue, green to brown is a big possibility. I'm just going to guess blue and stick with that.
My official weight on the doctor's scale (which used to be the exact same as my scale, but now they don't match up as much) is 129.5 lbs, which puts me at 15.5 lb weight gain, still exactly where I should be.
But currently, this baby weighs about 1 1/2 lbs already and is a foot long. He's on his way to getting to be the size of a term baby, though I can't imagine how I"m going to fit him as he keeps growing. Constantly, he's stretching out. I get weird kicks and punches on opposite ends of my belly at the same time. He also sticks out his feet and stretches up his arms so I suddenly have all these weird lumps at opposing areas of my belly. I don't remember Katie stretching so much, it seems like this baby doesn't have enough space to his liking already and is trying to make more. I have no idea what he does in there half the time, but he makes some internal things hurt!
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Doctor appointment at 22w, 6d
Baby appointment went well today!
I'm measuring right on track and so is baby. He was kicking while we were talking, and then the moment she put the doppler to my belly, his heartbeat sounded. I love that it no longer takes ten minutes and multiple doppler machines that scare me to find his heartbeat, it's right there and instantaneous! Today his heartrate was in the 150's. The heartrate old wives tale definitely doesn't work for me - my boy's heartrate is higher than my girl's!
I'm now booked for a birth center birth officially, as well as down for his circumcision. Something I really liked finding out today is that there's a list of pediatricians who will come right to the birth center at the one week check up to do the circumcision. What i disliked is they don't want to give me the list so I can research the doctors and figure out who I want to do it - instead, they'll give me the list after the baby is born and they're 100% sure he's a boy. Seems like a very silly rule, especially since after birth I'll be a hormonal mess with a crying infant, my milk will be coming in, my tailbone will be broken, I'll be bleeding all kinds of gross stuff, and I'll be learning how to deal with a new baby and a toddler. I think it'll be an overwhelming time as it is, even without adding needing to do some fast last minute research on what doctor will be cutting my baby's important bits! But I suppose it'll be easier this way than going to a pediatric urologist, so I suppose we'll go with this and hope I can snatch the list at my next appointment.
Speaking of which, my next appointment is in five weeks - which means I'll be entering third trimester when I go! HOLY CRAP. Seriously...how did that happen? Didn't I just enter second trimester a little bit ago? Just think about this for a second - I'm going to be in third trimester soon. Am I the only one totally shocked that it's happening so soon?
At that appointment, we'll be getting really serious - I need to be tested for diabetes (though I don't need the horrible glucose test that made me vomit over and over violently inbetween passing out last time!), I need my Rhogam shot, I need more blood work tested, and I need to get my note signed from our pediatrician's office to hand in at the following appointment or two...because, you know, I'll be in third trimester and all of these things have to get done before I have a baby. I can not believe that I'm starting to get this close to the end.
Sure, my body is giving up on me. I have sciatica really badly, my tailbone feels like it's breaking every day, I still vomit occasionally and get car sick almost every time I go anywhere, but I'm really not ready to not be pregnant anymore. I like this pregnancy. I like not pushing a baby out of me. I'm nice and cozy here in my second trimester. The news that third trimester is suddenly right around the corner, especially after the last two weeks went by SO FAST and we have a bunch of fun plans for September that will make that month go even faster, it shocking and a bit terrifying.
I was excited just to be buying stuff (I got my car seat today!) but now I feel a bit panicked and rushed. I know, it's a bit early to be panicking, but it no longer feels like it. It feels like I should stop writing now and go pack my hospital bag because I'll be in third trimester last month. Holy cow.
I'm measuring right on track and so is baby. He was kicking while we were talking, and then the moment she put the doppler to my belly, his heartbeat sounded. I love that it no longer takes ten minutes and multiple doppler machines that scare me to find his heartbeat, it's right there and instantaneous! Today his heartrate was in the 150's. The heartrate old wives tale definitely doesn't work for me - my boy's heartrate is higher than my girl's!
I'm now booked for a birth center birth officially, as well as down for his circumcision. Something I really liked finding out today is that there's a list of pediatricians who will come right to the birth center at the one week check up to do the circumcision. What i disliked is they don't want to give me the list so I can research the doctors and figure out who I want to do it - instead, they'll give me the list after the baby is born and they're 100% sure he's a boy. Seems like a very silly rule, especially since after birth I'll be a hormonal mess with a crying infant, my milk will be coming in, my tailbone will be broken, I'll be bleeding all kinds of gross stuff, and I'll be learning how to deal with a new baby and a toddler. I think it'll be an overwhelming time as it is, even without adding needing to do some fast last minute research on what doctor will be cutting my baby's important bits! But I suppose it'll be easier this way than going to a pediatric urologist, so I suppose we'll go with this and hope I can snatch the list at my next appointment.
Speaking of which, my next appointment is in five weeks - which means I'll be entering third trimester when I go! HOLY CRAP. Seriously...how did that happen? Didn't I just enter second trimester a little bit ago? Just think about this for a second - I'm going to be in third trimester soon. Am I the only one totally shocked that it's happening so soon?
At that appointment, we'll be getting really serious - I need to be tested for diabetes (though I don't need the horrible glucose test that made me vomit over and over violently inbetween passing out last time!), I need my Rhogam shot, I need more blood work tested, and I need to get my note signed from our pediatrician's office to hand in at the following appointment or two...because, you know, I'll be in third trimester and all of these things have to get done before I have a baby. I can not believe that I'm starting to get this close to the end.
Sure, my body is giving up on me. I have sciatica really badly, my tailbone feels like it's breaking every day, I still vomit occasionally and get car sick almost every time I go anywhere, but I'm really not ready to not be pregnant anymore. I like this pregnancy. I like not pushing a baby out of me. I'm nice and cozy here in my second trimester. The news that third trimester is suddenly right around the corner, especially after the last two weeks went by SO FAST and we have a bunch of fun plans for September that will make that month go even faster, it shocking and a bit terrifying.
I was excited just to be buying stuff (I got my car seat today!) but now I feel a bit panicked and rushed. I know, it's a bit early to be panicking, but it no longer feels like it. It feels like I should stop writing now and go pack my hospital bag because I'll be in third trimester last month. Holy cow.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Almost out of week 22
I can't believe I only have one more day of week 22 left. It's another week that's gone by so fast! I'm still trying to get used to being 22 weeks and I'm almost 23! This also means that I'm only eight days away from Will being considered viable. While some people on my baby boards don't think that's a big deal (saying that it's still only 50/50 and you shouldn't be celebrating until 34 weeks plus) I couldn't disagree more. The medical field's attitude towards a baby changes so much at 24 weeks. You go from having a place for your baby to remain comfortable while they pass away by their own means to a team of doctors working very hard to save your child. That difference is why I celebrate, and I'm almost there!
I've gained quite a bit more weight in the last two weeks, which I'm surprised about as I haven't been as hungry lately. Now that I'm over half way through pregnancy, I finally broke into the 130's - I'm now 131 exactly today. That means I've gained a total of 17 lbs so far, which is in the normal range of what I'm supposed to be gaining.
Though I wish I weighed myself a little more frequently, as the way my body has been acting in the last month has me wondering if I fluctuate a lot or is responsible for the weight gain. TMI, but it seems like for the first time, I'm having bathroom issues in pregnancy. Ugh, they're the worse! I seem to struggle to go for about a week, and then once a week or so my body wants to clear itself out for hours. I hate this method. I've been trying to eat lots of good foods and things high in fiber to avoid it, but it doesn't seem to help. This method is painful and it sucks, I'm hoping it'll stop soon. I can't hydrate myself any more than I already am, so I can't imagine that's the issue. I know a huge amount of women on my board going through something similar, so I'm assuming it's just something that pregnancy is blessing me with and I'll have to survive through. After three pregnancies, I suppose it's time to finally experience this common symptom.
Another symptom that's really be a pain (very literally) is my sciatic nerve. Wow has that been acting up, and it just gets worse by the week. It's been rough. Today my entire leg and hip locked up just walking from one room into the other. The pain was so bad! Bill saw me near tears and picked me up to carry me to the recliner sofa. That lock up feeling is some of the worst pain, it feels like a shooting, sharp dagger going from right at my hip all the way down to my foot, and even taking the smallest step becomes impossible because it just won't move. My tailbone pain plays into this, as that's getting worse as well. Lets just say I'm having a hard time mentally preparing myself for labor and breaking my tailbone again when the pain of it is already so bad!
Luckily with reading over this blog, I just remembered (at 10:30 PM!) that I have a baby appointment early tomorrow morning. So glad i remembered after I missed last week's! I don't think they would have been happy with me had I forgotten again. Hopefully Bill comes home soon (he's already late getting out, and I have no idea how long he'll be yet) so that I can go take a shower and get to bed. Katie had a late nap, as I usually don't mind if we don't need to go to bed early, so she needs someone to watch after her while I get ready.
I've gained quite a bit more weight in the last two weeks, which I'm surprised about as I haven't been as hungry lately. Now that I'm over half way through pregnancy, I finally broke into the 130's - I'm now 131 exactly today. That means I've gained a total of 17 lbs so far, which is in the normal range of what I'm supposed to be gaining.
Though I wish I weighed myself a little more frequently, as the way my body has been acting in the last month has me wondering if I fluctuate a lot or is responsible for the weight gain. TMI, but it seems like for the first time, I'm having bathroom issues in pregnancy. Ugh, they're the worse! I seem to struggle to go for about a week, and then once a week or so my body wants to clear itself out for hours. I hate this method. I've been trying to eat lots of good foods and things high in fiber to avoid it, but it doesn't seem to help. This method is painful and it sucks, I'm hoping it'll stop soon. I can't hydrate myself any more than I already am, so I can't imagine that's the issue. I know a huge amount of women on my board going through something similar, so I'm assuming it's just something that pregnancy is blessing me with and I'll have to survive through. After three pregnancies, I suppose it's time to finally experience this common symptom.
Another symptom that's really be a pain (very literally) is my sciatic nerve. Wow has that been acting up, and it just gets worse by the week. It's been rough. Today my entire leg and hip locked up just walking from one room into the other. The pain was so bad! Bill saw me near tears and picked me up to carry me to the recliner sofa. That lock up feeling is some of the worst pain, it feels like a shooting, sharp dagger going from right at my hip all the way down to my foot, and even taking the smallest step becomes impossible because it just won't move. My tailbone pain plays into this, as that's getting worse as well. Lets just say I'm having a hard time mentally preparing myself for labor and breaking my tailbone again when the pain of it is already so bad!
Luckily with reading over this blog, I just remembered (at 10:30 PM!) that I have a baby appointment early tomorrow morning. So glad i remembered after I missed last week's! I don't think they would have been happy with me had I forgotten again. Hopefully Bill comes home soon (he's already late getting out, and I have no idea how long he'll be yet) so that I can go take a shower and get to bed. Katie had a late nap, as I usually don't mind if we don't need to go to bed early, so she needs someone to watch after her while I get ready.
Last Weekend
This was Sunday or Monday, somehow I forgot to publish it! So....
This has been a super fun weekend! Not only did we redo the house (okay, we're still redoing, I'm a slowpoke when it comes to my part! But we got the main things done) so that having Katie and a baby is easier, but we also had to go shopping at stores we usually don't get to. Which meant...I got to shop for baby! I was crazed last week with baby shopping fever and didn't get to do any of it (unless you count zulily...what a mistake it was to go looking there! ADORABLE stuff, I can't resist!) so this weekend I grabbed everything I knew I'd need and wouldn't be able to get later as we wouldn't be in the area.
This weekend I bought:
My Britax carseat
Two ducky sleepers
Two matching hats to the ducky sleepers
Long sleeve newborn swaddle shirts
Halo Velboa sleepsack
Mickey Mouse bedding set (comforter, crib skirt, sheet)
Mickey Mouse curtain
Mickey Mouse bumpers
Mickey Mouse extra soft, cuddly blanket
Mickey Mouse onesie
A pair of two infant pants
Carseat Strap covers in brown and tan with adorable doggies
Blue stripe (with rainbow bottoms) leg warmers
Blue "lord of the rings" (with a picture of baby stacking rings) onesie
And this list was me being careful with spending! I had to resist some ADORABLE things that I really wanted. Thank goodness the hat business is doing well, as it fully funded all of the above plus the Boba. It feels much less guilty to go shopping for things that aren't totally needed when I can pay for them without touching a penny from our bank account!
Today I put all the clothing I have for baby so far into the laundry, along with the Mickey bedding as Katie wants to use it meanwhile (I'll be getting her a Minnie Mouse toddler set once baby comes). Now everything is sorted, folded and put into the dresser that's filling up quickly. With the carseat being shipped and on it's way, the Boba hanging up and ready for a newborn, all the clothing washed and a few things packed in my hospital bag, it's starting to feel like things are coming together!
Next weekend I'm hoping to bring my swing(s) and bouncer up from the basement and start getting everything but the decals done in the nursery. Most of it is already finished, I even went through the entire closet this week, but it still has a bit to go yet.
This has been a super fun weekend! Not only did we redo the house (okay, we're still redoing, I'm a slowpoke when it comes to my part! But we got the main things done) so that having Katie and a baby is easier, but we also had to go shopping at stores we usually don't get to. Which meant...I got to shop for baby! I was crazed last week with baby shopping fever and didn't get to do any of it (unless you count zulily...what a mistake it was to go looking there! ADORABLE stuff, I can't resist!) so this weekend I grabbed everything I knew I'd need and wouldn't be able to get later as we wouldn't be in the area.
This weekend I bought:
My Britax carseat
Two ducky sleepers
Two matching hats to the ducky sleepers
Long sleeve newborn swaddle shirts
Halo Velboa sleepsack
Mickey Mouse bedding set (comforter, crib skirt, sheet)
Mickey Mouse curtain
Mickey Mouse bumpers
Mickey Mouse extra soft, cuddly blanket
Mickey Mouse onesie
A pair of two infant pants
Carseat Strap covers in brown and tan with adorable doggies
Blue stripe (with rainbow bottoms) leg warmers
Blue "lord of the rings" (with a picture of baby stacking rings) onesie
And this list was me being careful with spending! I had to resist some ADORABLE things that I really wanted. Thank goodness the hat business is doing well, as it fully funded all of the above plus the Boba. It feels much less guilty to go shopping for things that aren't totally needed when I can pay for them without touching a penny from our bank account!
Today I put all the clothing I have for baby so far into the laundry, along with the Mickey bedding as Katie wants to use it meanwhile (I'll be getting her a Minnie Mouse toddler set once baby comes). Now everything is sorted, folded and put into the dresser that's filling up quickly. With the carseat being shipped and on it's way, the Boba hanging up and ready for a newborn, all the clothing washed and a few things packed in my hospital bag, it's starting to feel like things are coming together!
Next weekend I'm hoping to bring my swing(s) and bouncer up from the basement and start getting everything but the decals done in the nursery. Most of it is already finished, I even went through the entire closet this week, but it still has a bit to go yet.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
22 Weeks
22 Weeks in just two minutes...and WOW, is this baby strong! I'm just sitting here, watching Food Network (as I do for 75% of my shows) and baby is kicking me so hard it feels like my organs are squishing and takes my breath away. I can't believe he's so strong already! He's a good baby, where he only really moves a lot when I'm, you know, trying to get a bit of sleep, but right now he's wired and awake at midnight and going nuts. My entire belly is just quivering, some parts keep falling really low while others suddenly go up and down in a series of punches in a row. He's not just punching and kicking though, he's quite the gymnast as he's rolling around his entire body. His little feet keep squirming as low as possible, it feels like he's almost digging into my hip joints as low as possible. Any lower and he'd be in my leg! lol
I mentioned to Bill about the "jumping baby". Katie, confused as I sometimes call her my baby still, started giggling and jumping! Silly little toddler! When I mentioned a little later that baby was kicking me so much, she just looked at me confused like she was saying "what are you talking about, I'm not kicking you!" Poor kid, she understands so much and yet not enough!
This pregnancy is definitely different than with Katie. This time, my hair is YUCKY. I had the most amazing hair of my life with Katie. It was thick and beautiful and shiny, the very typical pregnancy hair. This time, my hair is stringy, it looks greasy just hours after I wash it, no matter what I use to wash it, and the hair not on my head grows so darn quickly. My complexion isn't the same either. With Katie, it was completely clear. Even if I ate all the chocolate in the house and more, I wouldn't get a single blemish. This time? If I have one square of chocolate, I break out all over. The old wives tales always said that girls steal your beauty, but not with me! I looked great with Katie, and look terrible with this little boy! I feel like I'm carrying nicer this time though, instead of chubby hips and a thick waist, it's mostly all up front. I seemed to have evened out with growth, I'm not too much bigger than what I was with Katie anymore at this time, and while I have gained more, I weigh less than last time.
I also discovered something today...this is my second/third time facing down labor and delivery and I find that even now, I'm still stupid and naive! But this time, I have a part of me that remembers enough to laugh at me. I know that labor, especially MY labors, are unbearably painful. So painful that it's just a haze, a hellish passage where I don't even know where I am or who I am or why I'm even in this much pain, but I'm pretty sure it's never ending and that it's going to kill me. I KNOW this is how it went. With Katie, the three hours of bone breaking pushing was almost more than I could handle. Even with Elizabeth, who I needed to still dilate for, have an 11 hour labor and push her out, it was hours and hours of hellish pain that I couldn't climb on top of. Each contraction ripped through me. And yet...I watch A Baby Story, and I watch these other women survive it. I cry as the baby is finally birthed and the mommy gets to hold their new bundle of love. And I think to myself "hey, I can do that. It's not THAT bad, plenty of women do it. And look what they get afterwards! I can totally do that. It'll be easier this time, maybe..." That's the cue for that little inside voice that remembers all of the above to start laughing, and even so, be it human nature to continue making more tiny humans or just really hopeful thinking, starts gearing up for the labor and thinking "I can do that." I'm honestly shocked that I feel that way, as until I started watching other women, I did nothing but dread labor. Labor means that even if everything goes 100% perfect, I'm still going to have weeks, probably two months or so, of a broken bone that's struggling to heal and I get NO meds for. That's on top of healing from a giant baby coming out of me and all the normal stuff happening, and possibly have my body do what it did last time and overheal myself so that I need parts of me to be burned and sizzled away (imagine the ring of fire internally which continues for hours! I cried when I had it done because it felt exactly that same way but for so much longer.)
I got my hospital bag out and started sorting through what I already have (currently - about 6 peri bottles, a little diaper sack filled with pads, and a moldable freezer bag, all things I have left over from last time) and starting to plan what I need this time. I'm thinking of my plan B (Plan A is a water birth at the birthing center) and how to make everything easier. We're moving our living room from the attic to the first floor so I can manage easier in the weeks after having baby (yep, we're uprooting 50% of our rooms, from the living room to the library, dining room, hobby room and nursery).
Oh wow, I've been writing for a while! I'm now officially 22 weeks...only 2 more weeks to go until this baby is Viable!!
I mentioned to Bill about the "jumping baby". Katie, confused as I sometimes call her my baby still, started giggling and jumping! Silly little toddler! When I mentioned a little later that baby was kicking me so much, she just looked at me confused like she was saying "what are you talking about, I'm not kicking you!" Poor kid, she understands so much and yet not enough!
This pregnancy is definitely different than with Katie. This time, my hair is YUCKY. I had the most amazing hair of my life with Katie. It was thick and beautiful and shiny, the very typical pregnancy hair. This time, my hair is stringy, it looks greasy just hours after I wash it, no matter what I use to wash it, and the hair not on my head grows so darn quickly. My complexion isn't the same either. With Katie, it was completely clear. Even if I ate all the chocolate in the house and more, I wouldn't get a single blemish. This time? If I have one square of chocolate, I break out all over. The old wives tales always said that girls steal your beauty, but not with me! I looked great with Katie, and look terrible with this little boy! I feel like I'm carrying nicer this time though, instead of chubby hips and a thick waist, it's mostly all up front. I seemed to have evened out with growth, I'm not too much bigger than what I was with Katie anymore at this time, and while I have gained more, I weigh less than last time.
I also discovered something today...this is my second/third time facing down labor and delivery and I find that even now, I'm still stupid and naive! But this time, I have a part of me that remembers enough to laugh at me. I know that labor, especially MY labors, are unbearably painful. So painful that it's just a haze, a hellish passage where I don't even know where I am or who I am or why I'm even in this much pain, but I'm pretty sure it's never ending and that it's going to kill me. I KNOW this is how it went. With Katie, the three hours of bone breaking pushing was almost more than I could handle. Even with Elizabeth, who I needed to still dilate for, have an 11 hour labor and push her out, it was hours and hours of hellish pain that I couldn't climb on top of. Each contraction ripped through me. And yet...I watch A Baby Story, and I watch these other women survive it. I cry as the baby is finally birthed and the mommy gets to hold their new bundle of love. And I think to myself "hey, I can do that. It's not THAT bad, plenty of women do it. And look what they get afterwards! I can totally do that. It'll be easier this time, maybe..." That's the cue for that little inside voice that remembers all of the above to start laughing, and even so, be it human nature to continue making more tiny humans or just really hopeful thinking, starts gearing up for the labor and thinking "I can do that." I'm honestly shocked that I feel that way, as until I started watching other women, I did nothing but dread labor. Labor means that even if everything goes 100% perfect, I'm still going to have weeks, probably two months or so, of a broken bone that's struggling to heal and I get NO meds for. That's on top of healing from a giant baby coming out of me and all the normal stuff happening, and possibly have my body do what it did last time and overheal myself so that I need parts of me to be burned and sizzled away (imagine the ring of fire internally which continues for hours! I cried when I had it done because it felt exactly that same way but for so much longer.)
I got my hospital bag out and started sorting through what I already have (currently - about 6 peri bottles, a little diaper sack filled with pads, and a moldable freezer bag, all things I have left over from last time) and starting to plan what I need this time. I'm thinking of my plan B (Plan A is a water birth at the birthing center) and how to make everything easier. We're moving our living room from the attic to the first floor so I can manage easier in the weeks after having baby (yep, we're uprooting 50% of our rooms, from the living room to the library, dining room, hobby room and nursery).
Oh wow, I've been writing for a while! I'm now officially 22 weeks...only 2 more weeks to go until this baby is Viable!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
21.4 weeks - with pictures!
I finally took my 21 week picture last night! And not only that, I just bought Baby Boy's bedding today! So here's a fun picture post:
Sunday, August 4, 2013
21 1/2 weeks
I can't believe, for the first time in this pregnancy, that I'm SO late in taking the weekly picture. For 16 weeks, I've managed to take a belly picture on the day I turn the next week, but this time it's an hour away from Monday and I'm STILL picture-less. This week has been so busy! I've been on the go and out of the house every day, when I'm in the house we've been changing everything around radically (our attic living room? It's going to be moving two floors down! Our 10 totes of books? FINALLY have nice oak shelves to sit on. The 9 boxes of VHS tapes (nope, sadly not an exaggeration) have finally been sorted through and are being either donated or going to a yard sale pile. We also made it to the park multiple times this week and to the pool once. I'm EXHAUSTED, but it's been a good week. Now we need to get rid of the piano we both really want but have no room for.
I'm really loving having a boy. Not only is the clothes shopping and rediscovering Disney (the boy side!) fun, but there's 7 women on our board going through something that I never will have to go through or feel that pressure. 7 women, all who are either pregnant with their third or fourth children, are going through heavy gender disappointment because they either have all girls or all boys and getting another of the same gender. While I would have LOVED to have all girls anyway, I know the comments everyone would have given us would have been tiring and hellish. The women, who are sad because they may never discover what it's like raising the other gender, are also dealing with "I bet you wish it was the other gender, isn't that sad!" type comments. I know even last pregnancy, I had so many comments of "this needs to be a boy" (why??) that I know I would have had to deal with the same thing those women are. How annoying! But luckily, we'll have a lovely pair of children, a little princess and a baby boy, so from here on out, it really doesn't matter what order we have our children or what the combination is. I never have to worry about not getting that other gender and feeling like I'm missing out. Of course, we already got the comment of "Now you have both, you can stop!" which we just laughed off, but I definitely find that a better comment than the "how sad that you don't have what society says you must have to be happy" comments.
Oh, speaking of cleaning the house as I was earlier, the nursery is finally being worked on. All those aforementioned totes of books and vhs tapes are now gone from it. The dresser is filling up fast with outfits and blankets. The changing table is organized and now ready to start adding things to it (though I already have a lot of what I need.) I just need to find homes for a lot in the nursery closet (mostly all Katie things), add the two totes of toys to the closet that are currently just sitting in the corner of the room, and do some fun Mickey and Minnie decorating.
I woke up early today and took ALL of my baby clothing out. I only counted what's in correct season (things that are short sleeved will still be usable as I have little sweaters, but I'm not counting them as main outfits, just back ups) and sorted by size. I currently have (main outfits only):
Five newborn sleepers (going to be adding pants and long sleeve newborn shirts to make up the rest of the newborn outfits)
Six 0-3m Outfits (These are mainly what I keep grabbing at the stores)
Four 3 month outfits
Four 3-6 month outfits
Three or Four Six month outfits
Three winter snow outfits in newborn, 0-3 and 3-6
It looks like so much more when it's all folded in the dresser, it takes up two drawers and yet it sounds like almost nothing!
After that though, I have a tote filled with 6 - 12 month clothing, but I definitely need to keep working on my baby clothes!
Oh, and one last fun thing, I bought my Boba 3G yesterday! Yes, finally after months and months of researching and talking about it, I FINALLY ordered it. I am still debating on getting the bag that attaches to it. I would love to have it, but I'm assuming it's probably not going to fit two kids' worth of stuff in it, so I'd need a diaper bag anyway. This is the one I got, Katie loves the picture because she loves talking about the toddler in it!
I'm really loving having a boy. Not only is the clothes shopping and rediscovering Disney (the boy side!) fun, but there's 7 women on our board going through something that I never will have to go through or feel that pressure. 7 women, all who are either pregnant with their third or fourth children, are going through heavy gender disappointment because they either have all girls or all boys and getting another of the same gender. While I would have LOVED to have all girls anyway, I know the comments everyone would have given us would have been tiring and hellish. The women, who are sad because they may never discover what it's like raising the other gender, are also dealing with "I bet you wish it was the other gender, isn't that sad!" type comments. I know even last pregnancy, I had so many comments of "this needs to be a boy" (why??) that I know I would have had to deal with the same thing those women are. How annoying! But luckily, we'll have a lovely pair of children, a little princess and a baby boy, so from here on out, it really doesn't matter what order we have our children or what the combination is. I never have to worry about not getting that other gender and feeling like I'm missing out. Of course, we already got the comment of "Now you have both, you can stop!" which we just laughed off, but I definitely find that a better comment than the "how sad that you don't have what society says you must have to be happy" comments.
Oh, speaking of cleaning the house as I was earlier, the nursery is finally being worked on. All those aforementioned totes of books and vhs tapes are now gone from it. The dresser is filling up fast with outfits and blankets. The changing table is organized and now ready to start adding things to it (though I already have a lot of what I need.) I just need to find homes for a lot in the nursery closet (mostly all Katie things), add the two totes of toys to the closet that are currently just sitting in the corner of the room, and do some fun Mickey and Minnie decorating.
I woke up early today and took ALL of my baby clothing out. I only counted what's in correct season (things that are short sleeved will still be usable as I have little sweaters, but I'm not counting them as main outfits, just back ups) and sorted by size. I currently have (main outfits only):
Five newborn sleepers (going to be adding pants and long sleeve newborn shirts to make up the rest of the newborn outfits)
Six 0-3m Outfits (These are mainly what I keep grabbing at the stores)
Four 3 month outfits
Four 3-6 month outfits
Three or Four Six month outfits
Three winter snow outfits in newborn, 0-3 and 3-6
It looks like so much more when it's all folded in the dresser, it takes up two drawers and yet it sounds like almost nothing!
After that though, I have a tote filled with 6 - 12 month clothing, but I definitely need to keep working on my baby clothes!
Oh, and one last fun thing, I bought my Boba 3G yesterday! Yes, finally after months and months of researching and talking about it, I FINALLY ordered it. I am still debating on getting the bag that attaches to it. I would love to have it, but I'm assuming it's probably not going to fit two kids' worth of stuff in it, so I'd need a diaper bag anyway. This is the one I got, Katie loves the picture because she loves talking about the toddler in it!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
21 Weeks
No, I haven't forgotten that I'm 21 weeks today (or as of a half hour ago, yesterday) but I've had such a busy day that I wasn't able to grab my picture taking clothes and snap a pic and write up a blog. Luckily, I mostly updated everything new yesterday.
What is new is that my little chubbers is now a full pound in weight and is 11 inches long. No wonder he's constantly pushing on both sides of my uterus, he's getting so tall!
I can not seem to stop shopping for this little boy! I am loving grabbing clothes for him. I can't wait to get him in these snuggly, warm outfits! There's just so much I never looked at before and now that I see it, I want it all. It's like discovering Disney all over again, because when have I ever actually looked at the boy characters of the movies before? Never! Now I rewatch everything and I shop the stores and think wow, there's a whole new world that I get to explore! It's not all princesses and pink, there's also pirate-y, rough and tumble, blue fun too. My love for Mickey Mouse is definitely coming in handy now!
This growing baby hates when I lay down now. Not just that he becomes active, but he hates if any part of my stomach is touching the bed. He decides to punch and kick the mattress for a good long while. On the other hand, if I lay on my back, he never calms down. So I basically already have two children who never want me to rest! lol
Luckily, Katie loves her naps still. She'll choose nap over anything else - going bye byes, swimming, going for a walk, playing, anything that she loves, she loves nap more. I'm very muchso blessed that she feels this way while pregnant because it's such a help, but I wish she'd keep her love for sleep once the baby comes too! I have a good feeling she'll be over it by then though.
Speaking of her sleep, she's ready to go to bed now so I have to go...hopefully i can update with a picture tomorrow!
What is new is that my little chubbers is now a full pound in weight and is 11 inches long. No wonder he's constantly pushing on both sides of my uterus, he's getting so tall!
I can not seem to stop shopping for this little boy! I am loving grabbing clothes for him. I can't wait to get him in these snuggly, warm outfits! There's just so much I never looked at before and now that I see it, I want it all. It's like discovering Disney all over again, because when have I ever actually looked at the boy characters of the movies before? Never! Now I rewatch everything and I shop the stores and think wow, there's a whole new world that I get to explore! It's not all princesses and pink, there's also pirate-y, rough and tumble, blue fun too. My love for Mickey Mouse is definitely coming in handy now!
This growing baby hates when I lay down now. Not just that he becomes active, but he hates if any part of my stomach is touching the bed. He decides to punch and kick the mattress for a good long while. On the other hand, if I lay on my back, he never calms down. So I basically already have two children who never want me to rest! lol
Luckily, Katie loves her naps still. She'll choose nap over anything else - going bye byes, swimming, going for a walk, playing, anything that she loves, she loves nap more. I'm very muchso blessed that she feels this way while pregnant because it's such a help, but I wish she'd keep her love for sleep once the baby comes too! I have a good feeling she'll be over it by then though.
Speaking of her sleep, she's ready to go to bed now so I have to go...hopefully i can update with a picture tomorrow!
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