I'm not sure how, but my actively trying to get Will to stop being nocturnal has...actually...made it worse. He now sleeps more during the day and less during the night. How'd that happen?? I have no idea! But I sure am sleepy, and I can't tell you how good it felt to start today with a hot shower that didn't include a baby crying during it or a toddler wandering around calling "mommy, where are you??"
A hot shower was especially good after a chilly yesterday. Bill woke up at 4 AM to go to work, and his alarm of course woke the baby, Katie, and me. So the two hours I had gotten prior to 4 AM came in handy, since those were the only hours I ended up getting all night. I took turns getting one child to sleep after the other, and when one would finally fall asleep, the other would wake up. I didn't budge us from bed until about 10 AM, because I was just too tired to start my day before then. However, when we finally opened the door of our space heater warm bedroom, I realized we were stepping out into a house frozen over. It felt very nearly like stepping outside! (which, at the current time, it had been snowing outside so it was quite cold!) I ran downstairs to try to fix the heat, but it wouldn't kick on. I assumed our oil had run out, and there was nothing much I could do about it until Bill came home. I took the kids back into the bedroom and dressed them in warm clothes. Will got a sleeper under a warm ducky sleep sack and one of his hats. Katie got in a set of fuzzy princess footie pjs, and I put on a sweater. I took them downstairs, then grabbed the two space heaters we had and a few blankets. I also turned on the oven, kept the door to it open and locked the gate between the kitchen and living room so we could get some of it's heat without any danger. We ended up having a cuddly, sleepy, pajama day full of tv shows and warm foods like oatmeal and soup with grilled cheese. When Bill came home late in the afternoon, he spent two hours trying to get ahold of the oil company. By 8 PM, an emergency oil guy came to the house to give us a few gallons of oil until a truck could make it to us on Monday.
After he left, we all ran to the store to do grocery shopping. Bill is currently working 6 and 7 days a week, alternating weeks so that he works 13 days in a row, has one day off and then works another 13 days. This means we had to do our grocery shopping on Saturday night, because there was no time to do it again until next Saturday! It was amazing to return home to warm house!
Bill, as well as me, is very split between being grateful for the overtime so we can catch up with our debt that we made from having three weeks of paternity off, and sad that he's not home. He's been soaking up every minute he can with us when he's not at work, especially because Katie still asks for him all day and won't let him out of her sight when he's home. Even if he runs upstairs to go to the bathroom, she calls for him and tries to go after him. He became her best friend over those three weeks, and now she feels deprived of him! He also says that it seems like Will changes so much each day. Every time he comes home, Will looks a little chubbier, seems a little more alert, his abilities grow stronger, or he has more smiles. The overtime though is a great way to start the year. Now that we have no cell phones and no car payment, we're no longer going into the negatives every month like we were. The overtime, once we pay off the debt from the paternity leave, will really help to go towards our loans. Hopefully, if the overtime keeps up and we can dedicate our tax return and bonus to it as well, we can really get a good chunk of the loan paid off this year. Every year we pray that we'll be able to take out a lot of our loans, but only little crumbs come out instead. This year we took the initiative to do more and get more serious about it and it's really looking good. One of Bill's smartest moves was to tell me that once we get the loans paid off, we can finally go on another Disney cruise. That's all I needed! I said to cancel the cell phones, I stopped complaining about overtime, agreed to only go out to eat once a month, and I started to be really strict with the grocery budget so that we never go over and we hopefully have money saved at the end of the money. Really, he should have said something years ago! LOL!
This week I'm getting more adventurous with cooking again. Previously, we've been living mostly on frozen foods or food that can be prepared in under ten minutes, just to make it easier on me. This week, I went on pinterest and found two or three new recipes I was confident that I could handle this week, and only got one frozen meal for emergencies when we're low on time. I'm actually quite happy that I'm able to do so much lately. I'm keeping up with the house better now than I was since I first got pregnant with Will. The dishes are always kept up with, the bathroom gets cleaned out often, the front rooms get picked up about three times a day. I've been vacuuming at least once a day the entire downstairs and the staircase. I'm managing mostly to keep up with my internet jobs. It just feels so good to be in charge of my house again and run it the way I like to! I think it's also frustration with having to still wait to exercise. I can't stand waiting, and I'm really pumped up to start in two weeks! I just hope that I'm still this energetic and eager when the time comes!
Before my shower this morning, I weighed myself again. I'm down to 134 lbs. The progress is SO slow, but it IS progress!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
1 Month Old!
Will is ONE MONTH OLD! Well, he's 4 weeks old, which I'm counting as a month. I'm not doing all of this over in three days when it's exactly the 27th!
When we finally got out of bed today (which, since we went to bed late and Bill went to work about six hours early, there was barely any morning left!) I decided to take a bunch of pictures. At first I de-clothed the baby, turned my moses basket upside down (he doesn't really fit in it anymore!) and put a blanket over it and a small pillow under it to take pictures there. Then I dug out my medium sized Mickey (as the 4' Mickey would overwhelm him, I think) and took pictures of him with the Big Mouse himself and dressed in a Mickey outfit that a friend bought him a few months ago.
After pictures, I weighed him like I do every Friday - and he's 12.6 lbs! HOLY COW! That's over a whole pound he's gained each week since birth and eating only breastmilk. That's crazy! He's also grown 3 inches, which explains why he's grown length wise out of so many clothes. He's officially bigger than most two month olds on my baby boards!
I took pictures of my belly too. While there's a small improvement, I haven't lost any weight this week (I'm still at 135). I also need to find a way to get my skin to go back to normal - being stretched to 42 weeks is making things difficult! I'm considering trying to not lose any weight until I can make my skin tighter. I'm going to start exercising in two more weeks. Right now I'm becoming more active around the house to slowly work up to exercising. The end of the lochia is still stubbornly hanging around, every day I expect to see it gone but nope, not yet!
Here's the pictures from today:
When we finally got out of bed today (which, since we went to bed late and Bill went to work about six hours early, there was barely any morning left!) I decided to take a bunch of pictures. At first I de-clothed the baby, turned my moses basket upside down (he doesn't really fit in it anymore!) and put a blanket over it and a small pillow under it to take pictures there. Then I dug out my medium sized Mickey (as the 4' Mickey would overwhelm him, I think) and took pictures of him with the Big Mouse himself and dressed in a Mickey outfit that a friend bought him a few months ago.
After pictures, I weighed him like I do every Friday - and he's 12.6 lbs! HOLY COW! That's over a whole pound he's gained each week since birth and eating only breastmilk. That's crazy! He's also grown 3 inches, which explains why he's grown length wise out of so many clothes. He's officially bigger than most two month olds on my baby boards!
I took pictures of my belly too. While there's a small improvement, I haven't lost any weight this week (I'm still at 135). I also need to find a way to get my skin to go back to normal - being stretched to 42 weeks is making things difficult! I'm considering trying to not lose any weight until I can make my skin tighter. I'm going to start exercising in two more weeks. Right now I'm becoming more active around the house to slowly work up to exercising. The end of the lochia is still stubbornly hanging around, every day I expect to see it gone but nope, not yet!
Here's the pictures from today:
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Day before 1 month
I'm not sure why I'm so tired today, but I am! Will has begun sleeping better at night, despite his still early wake ups. Since he changed into size one diapers, we've both been sleeping better and not needing to change his diaper and outfit as often. Today he's been sleeping like crazy. He had a three hour nap earlier, then woke up to cry and nurse and cry some more (I have no idea why!) until his eye caught Katie's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show on tv. He watched all the bright colors until he fell asleep again and he's still sleeping. It's lovely! Growth spurts are awesome...despite my supply rocketing and my let down getting worse. Poor thing chokes every time I nurse him. If I try to fix it by taking him off and allowing the let down to calm down, he screams anyway and then won't nurse as well, so he now just rides out the let down the best he can.
I now have a hopeful date for his baptism set - February 9th at noon. It'll be a bit tricky as Bill has mandatory overtime now, but he should be able to attend and then just rush to work right after. Speaking of which, he brought home both good and bad news yesterday. Earlier this week I felt lonely and depressed just at going from having him all day long to only getting to see him basically on weekends...but now that's changed too. He has mandatory overtime on Sundays for his shift, but since first shift also has mandatory overtime on Saturdays and they need supervisors for it, he'll be working both days. Not only that, but on Friday (which I guess is tomorrow already?) he has to go in over four hours early and, as usual on Friday nights, probably stay late. So it's sad that we'll see less of him (especially because Katie still spends half of her days asking where did Daddy go and when is he coming back, as over the three weeks he was home he became her best buddy) but at least it should help us to catch up on our finances, which have taken a beating from that extra week off that we could just barely afford. We're both eager to get back on track so we can start paying off our loans off this year. If we stay within our budget and he gets overtime, combined with our tax return and his bonus each year, we should be able to be loan free within the next two or three years. (though life will inevitably get in the way, and at some point in those three years we'll have to pause on paying off the loans to afford an SUV for the next baby.)
Will is going to be one month old tomorrow. It's so bittersweet! I hate that he's barely a newborn anymore, and the time went so incredibly fast. I truly can't believe it! I don't know where the weeks went. At the same time, he's becoming so much fun now! I love his little smile he gives me when I sing him to sleep, or when he sees me when he wakes from nap. He loves sitting up and looking all around the room with his big blue eyes. His neck control is great - he has no problem at all with keeping his head up and looking around - not for seconds like normal at this age, but for extended minutes at a time with no difficulty (usually until I put him down). He enjoys patterns and colors now - my white and black striped shirt is his favorite, he loves Katie's Gymbo clown plush that is dressed in bright reds, yellows and greens, he enjoys watching vibrant shows like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He is still trying to army crawl around, whether on me, the sofa, or on his plush doggie mat. It just seems like he really enjoys things now and a personality is beginning to form. He's getting used to life here and discovering his likes, dislikes and what catches his eye, and it's so fun to watch him explore.
He is loving baths too. Katie loved them as well, so I figured he would. He always gives a cry at first because the new sensation still startles him, but it quickly is replaced by him relaxing against the bath and just laying there for as long as I need him to. I discovered yesterday that he has a heat rash on the top of his back and under his chin while I was cleaning and drying him. It's crazy that in the middle of winter, he has heat rash, but he is a sweaty baby! I have about 6 sleepsacks for him and even more of those sleeper dresses (about 10!) because I figured a winter baby would need warm things. Instead he just has his light sleepers on and he still sweats, especially when he nurses.
He's also very solid and heavy now. I can't believe the difference! He went from being light as a feather and so easy to pick up to now feeling like a giant sack of potatoes. He's really quite heavy and solid feeling. I'm eager to see what he's measuring at his appointment, which I need to call about tomorrow because I keep forgetting. Both kids have a doctor appointment soon but I can't remember when! As of earlier this week, he was 11 1/2 lbs, so I'm thinking he's probably pushing close to 12 lbs now.
Little fussy is beginning to stir, so I better go get him before he gets too grumpy to settle down and nurse!
I now have a hopeful date for his baptism set - February 9th at noon. It'll be a bit tricky as Bill has mandatory overtime now, but he should be able to attend and then just rush to work right after. Speaking of which, he brought home both good and bad news yesterday. Earlier this week I felt lonely and depressed just at going from having him all day long to only getting to see him basically on weekends...but now that's changed too. He has mandatory overtime on Sundays for his shift, but since first shift also has mandatory overtime on Saturdays and they need supervisors for it, he'll be working both days. Not only that, but on Friday (which I guess is tomorrow already?) he has to go in over four hours early and, as usual on Friday nights, probably stay late. So it's sad that we'll see less of him (especially because Katie still spends half of her days asking where did Daddy go and when is he coming back, as over the three weeks he was home he became her best buddy) but at least it should help us to catch up on our finances, which have taken a beating from that extra week off that we could just barely afford. We're both eager to get back on track so we can start paying off our loans off this year. If we stay within our budget and he gets overtime, combined with our tax return and his bonus each year, we should be able to be loan free within the next two or three years. (though life will inevitably get in the way, and at some point in those three years we'll have to pause on paying off the loans to afford an SUV for the next baby.)
Will is going to be one month old tomorrow. It's so bittersweet! I hate that he's barely a newborn anymore, and the time went so incredibly fast. I truly can't believe it! I don't know where the weeks went. At the same time, he's becoming so much fun now! I love his little smile he gives me when I sing him to sleep, or when he sees me when he wakes from nap. He loves sitting up and looking all around the room with his big blue eyes. His neck control is great - he has no problem at all with keeping his head up and looking around - not for seconds like normal at this age, but for extended minutes at a time with no difficulty (usually until I put him down). He enjoys patterns and colors now - my white and black striped shirt is his favorite, he loves Katie's Gymbo clown plush that is dressed in bright reds, yellows and greens, he enjoys watching vibrant shows like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He is still trying to army crawl around, whether on me, the sofa, or on his plush doggie mat. It just seems like he really enjoys things now and a personality is beginning to form. He's getting used to life here and discovering his likes, dislikes and what catches his eye, and it's so fun to watch him explore.
He is loving baths too. Katie loved them as well, so I figured he would. He always gives a cry at first because the new sensation still startles him, but it quickly is replaced by him relaxing against the bath and just laying there for as long as I need him to. I discovered yesterday that he has a heat rash on the top of his back and under his chin while I was cleaning and drying him. It's crazy that in the middle of winter, he has heat rash, but he is a sweaty baby! I have about 6 sleepsacks for him and even more of those sleeper dresses (about 10!) because I figured a winter baby would need warm things. Instead he just has his light sleepers on and he still sweats, especially when he nurses.
He's also very solid and heavy now. I can't believe the difference! He went from being light as a feather and so easy to pick up to now feeling like a giant sack of potatoes. He's really quite heavy and solid feeling. I'm eager to see what he's measuring at his appointment, which I need to call about tomorrow because I keep forgetting. Both kids have a doctor appointment soon but I can't remember when! As of earlier this week, he was 11 1/2 lbs, so I'm thinking he's probably pushing close to 12 lbs now.
Little fussy is beginning to stir, so I better go get him before he gets too grumpy to settle down and nurse!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Day 25
I'm so surprised - today is going really well! A big factor of that is because both kids just took naps - at the same time! And both of them slept for about three hours. Ah, growth spurts, they're wonderful! And because Will actually slept pretty well last night (and his new size one diapers meant that I didn't have to change him and the bed when I accidently slept for more than two hours at a time!) I have energy today. I actually feel awake for once! It's lovely! Thanks to this burst of energy, I tackled the dishes and pots today, folded three loads of laundry, sorted through the baby's clothes to put the newborn ones away (but not without tears threatening!), fixed the vacuum cleaner and took the leftover Elizabeth memorial from her angelversary back upstairs. I even had some time to sit by myself, eat a hot meal and enjoy watching tv while the snow fell outside. It's the most relaxing and productive day I've had in a long time! I'd love to start getting Katie back into napping again. She does it about every other day all by herself as is and gives me a break from her terrible two's combined with regression from the baby.
Now I'm just hoping that all of this snow doesn't mean that I'm left all alone tonight. They're calling for over ten inches, and the snow that's been falling since early this morning is still falling now. Looking outside at the street that hasn't been cleared despite being on a snow emergency route, it seems like we have quite a few inches. I'm worried that Bill won't be able to leave work in our car. The weather is always worse where he works, and getting out of the hilly parking lot is a struggle when any snow or ice is on the road. Luckily ever since I heard about the snow storm yesterday, I've been charging the makeshift emergency cell phone that my FIL gave us and I sent it with him so he can call me if he has to stay over or call for help if he gets stuck somewhere. I'd be a nervous wreck if he didn't have it!
Now I'm just hoping that all of this snow doesn't mean that I'm left all alone tonight. They're calling for over ten inches, and the snow that's been falling since early this morning is still falling now. Looking outside at the street that hasn't been cleared despite being on a snow emergency route, it seems like we have quite a few inches. I'm worried that Bill won't be able to leave work in our car. The weather is always worse where he works, and getting out of the hilly parking lot is a struggle when any snow or ice is on the road. Luckily ever since I heard about the snow storm yesterday, I've been charging the makeshift emergency cell phone that my FIL gave us and I sent it with him so he can call me if he has to stay over or call for help if he gets stuck somewhere. I'd be a nervous wreck if he didn't have it!
Monday, January 20, 2014
Day 24
I'm half way through the first day of Bill being back to work, and so far I haven't broken down or cried or felt too terribly stressed. I also haven't done any housework though. I've been taking care of Will and Katie, been making meals and letting dogs out and that's about it. But at least I know I can handle this part, which last week I didn't think I could. Will won't let me put him down for more than two minutes so figuring out meals and doing things needed have been an adjustment (he's also fighting going in a carrier today, I have no idea why though, except to just make things harder on me!). I must say, since we cancelled our phones I haven't minded it until today. Today it sucks. I keep wanting to talk to Bill and instead, I can't talk to him until he comes home tonight. It's lonely. I have so much I want to tell him! I'm not used to him being parted from me.
I think I found the source of my bleeding. I don't think it's all lochia, but instead a cut that's on the outside. It's been sore ever since I came home from the hospital, but now it seems like I keep accidently pulling it open. As soon as it feels that way, I notice little bits of fresh blood. I'm wondering if I tore a bit and they didn't notice and now it's still trying to heal. I'm hoping it doesn't give me problems down the road like I had last time. I don't have my "6 week" appointment until March, so it won't be checked out for a long time and I'd really hope it's all healed by then!
So far, my pelvis isn't falling apart and my bleeding isn't picking up too much today. Hopefully it stays this way even though I have to be more active now.
I think I'm going to immerse myself in a tv show this week so I don't feel as lonely and the house isn't quite as quiet as it is now. I'll start housework next week once I both figured out how to take care of the kids, dogs, meals and being lonely. This week has enough on it's plate!
I think I found the source of my bleeding. I don't think it's all lochia, but instead a cut that's on the outside. It's been sore ever since I came home from the hospital, but now it seems like I keep accidently pulling it open. As soon as it feels that way, I notice little bits of fresh blood. I'm wondering if I tore a bit and they didn't notice and now it's still trying to heal. I'm hoping it doesn't give me problems down the road like I had last time. I don't have my "6 week" appointment until March, so it won't be checked out for a long time and I'd really hope it's all healed by then!
So far, my pelvis isn't falling apart and my bleeding isn't picking up too much today. Hopefully it stays this way even though I have to be more active now.
I think I'm going to immerse myself in a tv show this week so I don't feel as lonely and the house isn't quite as quiet as it is now. I'll start housework next week once I both figured out how to take care of the kids, dogs, meals and being lonely. This week has enough on it's plate!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Last Paternity Leave Day
Today was the final day of paternity leave. It's been a wonderful three weeks, and it went by so fast. I don't think I've ever had a time in my life pass quicker! Between a toddler and a newborn and taking care of my postpartum stuff, time just flew. I've so enjoyed having Bill here to help me with everything. He really feels like my right arm at this point, and I'm really going to miss having him here every day. Having to return to cooking, cleaning, and not getting the luxury of having nice hour long baths is going to be depressing. But, at least I feel more confident that I can do it this week. I feel better, I'm not bleeding much at all anymore and haven't seen any fresh, red blood in about five days, and I stocked up on easy to cook meals. Katie, while still being naughty, is not nearly acting up as much as she was and is more manageable on my own now. While i feel like I can do it, I feel like I'm going to be terribly lonely. We don't even have our phones anymore to talk to each other at break, so it's going to be very long days with no contact at all. I feel like my postpartum blues, which I've had none of so far, may be saving up for tomorrow.
Little Chunk is doing well though. He's fussy lately, staying awake more and eating more. He gets frustrated so quickly now! I think he's going through the 3 week growth spurt, though I wish that included more nighttime sleep. His face is changing so much so quickly with how much weight he's gaining, he already looks so different from our newborn! He's looking more like an older baby now. All of his wonderful newborn sleep has vanished, and he actually wants to be visually stimulated now or he gets bored.
Not looking forward to tomorrow.
Little Chunk is doing well though. He's fussy lately, staying awake more and eating more. He gets frustrated so quickly now! I think he's going through the 3 week growth spurt, though I wish that included more nighttime sleep. His face is changing so much so quickly with how much weight he's gaining, he already looks so different from our newborn! He's looking more like an older baby now. All of his wonderful newborn sleep has vanished, and he actually wants to be visually stimulated now or he gets bored.
Not looking forward to tomorrow.
Friday, January 17, 2014
3 Weeks Old!
Will is THREE WEEKS OLD today!!
I decided to start the morning by weighing us, and wow! This little chunker is gaining a whole pound every week - he's now 11 lbs! Funny enough, I'm losing one pound a week. I'm now 135, so I only have ten more pounds to go. I also decided to take a picture of my stomach to compare with last week's. I'm glad I did, because I didn't think I had gone down at all yet, but in fact I went down quite a bit. Last week it still looked like my uterus was swollen, but this week it looks like it went away. I'm starting to get back to normal now! I still have a ways, but it does make me hopeful.
I can't believe how big Will is already. He has giant cheeks, he has chub rolls all over, and by next week he'll definitely be too big for newborn diapers (in fact, I'm thinking of trying out 1's tonight, since he keeps leaking at night time, as during the day I have to change him about every hour or he pees out of the full diaper) and newborn clothing is already on it's way out. I'd love to measure him, but I don't know where our measuring tape is. Funny enough, the newborn clothes are not too big on him around wise, but length wise, so he must have sprouted up in height as well.
His eyes seem to be getting bluer and lighter. At first I thought they might turn dark, but looking in good lighting shows that they're getting lighter. His eyebrows are almost a platnum blonde, and the hair that's newly growing on his head is a very light blonde, so it looks like this one will be very similar to Katie in coloring, if not a bit lighter. Katie had very dark brown hair at birth, and Will's is only a medium or light brown.
Will spent all night growling and groaning at me. He's the loudest baby I've ever known! Katie was never even close to this. I heard of people talking about how their babies keeping them up at night from their noisy talk but I never understood it. NOW I DO! This kid is so very loud. I don't even know why he's growling. It'll be during nursing or while just laying there. It's not in pain, it's just like he wants to hear himself all the time, or he's bored. I thought at first he needed to burp, so I burped him and he growled more. I picked him up and rocked him, didn't make a difference. He still wanted to be loud and "talk" all night long and will not be silenced!
I'm starting to feel more normal now. The bleeding is slowing and my body doesn't hurt so bad. The sciatic pain doesn't happen as often now and while my tailbone and pelvis still ache, it's not nearly as severe and often. I'm feeling more confident about doing everything on my own now and am not stressed or worried about Bill going back to work. This week is a big difference from last week! I'm glad I was able to get this extra week of help so I can feel good about this coming week.
My curious little boy
I decided to start the morning by weighing us, and wow! This little chunker is gaining a whole pound every week - he's now 11 lbs! Funny enough, I'm losing one pound a week. I'm now 135, so I only have ten more pounds to go. I also decided to take a picture of my stomach to compare with last week's. I'm glad I did, because I didn't think I had gone down at all yet, but in fact I went down quite a bit. Last week it still looked like my uterus was swollen, but this week it looks like it went away. I'm starting to get back to normal now! I still have a ways, but it does make me hopeful.
I can't believe how big Will is already. He has giant cheeks, he has chub rolls all over, and by next week he'll definitely be too big for newborn diapers (in fact, I'm thinking of trying out 1's tonight, since he keeps leaking at night time, as during the day I have to change him about every hour or he pees out of the full diaper) and newborn clothing is already on it's way out. I'd love to measure him, but I don't know where our measuring tape is. Funny enough, the newborn clothes are not too big on him around wise, but length wise, so he must have sprouted up in height as well.
His eyes seem to be getting bluer and lighter. At first I thought they might turn dark, but looking in good lighting shows that they're getting lighter. His eyebrows are almost a platnum blonde, and the hair that's newly growing on his head is a very light blonde, so it looks like this one will be very similar to Katie in coloring, if not a bit lighter. Katie had very dark brown hair at birth, and Will's is only a medium or light brown.
Will spent all night growling and groaning at me. He's the loudest baby I've ever known! Katie was never even close to this. I heard of people talking about how their babies keeping them up at night from their noisy talk but I never understood it. NOW I DO! This kid is so very loud. I don't even know why he's growling. It'll be during nursing or while just laying there. It's not in pain, it's just like he wants to hear himself all the time, or he's bored. I thought at first he needed to burp, so I burped him and he growled more. I picked him up and rocked him, didn't make a difference. He still wanted to be loud and "talk" all night long and will not be silenced!
I'm starting to feel more normal now. The bleeding is slowing and my body doesn't hurt so bad. The sciatic pain doesn't happen as often now and while my tailbone and pelvis still ache, it's not nearly as severe and often. I'm feeling more confident about doing everything on my own now and am not stressed or worried about Bill going back to work. This week is a big difference from last week! I'm glad I was able to get this extra week of help so I can feel good about this coming week.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Day 19
I'm starting to lose track of days! I had to check, but it is day 19. I can't believe Will is almost three weeks old. That's just shy of one month, and HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? I haven't been hormonal at all since having him, no baby blues or anything, but thinking that next week he'll be a month old just makes me want to bawl. How could it be going so fast?!
He's becoming a "real baby" now. Instead of just being a sleeping, eating, pooping machine, he's now more interested in the world. He stays awake longer, wants to look at things, wants to be held and entertained more. Yesterday he was screaming by the time I got out of the shower, and he had tears running down his cheeks, so those tear ducts are definitely working well already. He's now starting to really look at us, and he has such big smiles. He has complete control over his head and neck, and can keep his head up and turn from side to side, as well as being able to roll from his belly to his back. I heard him unmistakably giggle twice now. He's getting big so quickly!
I think he may have a lip tie, which is interesting because even though I never looked with Katie, he nurses the same as her. She never quite had her top lip splayed completely while nursing, and Will doesn't either. Looking at pictures of those diagnosed with lip tie and looking at him, they look exactly alike. However, with him gaining a pound in one week, pooping constantly and my nipples not hurting, I don't think the different latch is affecting anything. Katie has no problem with her teeth or speech, so it doesn't seem to affect her either. I have no plans to actually have it checked out or clipped, as I really don't want to go through that with him, but it's interesting to see that Katie may have had it and I never knew.
Here's pictures of what I took today of the possible tie.
He's becoming a "real baby" now. Instead of just being a sleeping, eating, pooping machine, he's now more interested in the world. He stays awake longer, wants to look at things, wants to be held and entertained more. Yesterday he was screaming by the time I got out of the shower, and he had tears running down his cheeks, so those tear ducts are definitely working well already. He's now starting to really look at us, and he has such big smiles. He has complete control over his head and neck, and can keep his head up and turn from side to side, as well as being able to roll from his belly to his back. I heard him unmistakably giggle twice now. He's getting big so quickly!
I think he may have a lip tie, which is interesting because even though I never looked with Katie, he nurses the same as her. She never quite had her top lip splayed completely while nursing, and Will doesn't either. Looking at pictures of those diagnosed with lip tie and looking at him, they look exactly alike. However, with him gaining a pound in one week, pooping constantly and my nipples not hurting, I don't think the different latch is affecting anything. Katie has no problem with her teeth or speech, so it doesn't seem to affect her either. I have no plans to actually have it checked out or clipped, as I really don't want to go through that with him, but it's interesting to see that Katie may have had it and I never knew.
Here's pictures of what I took today of the possible tie.
I'm starting to get used to waking up so early every morning. I'm still tired during the day but usually don't need a nap anymore - which is good, because by next Monday, I won't be able to get one with Katie. Katie is getting more used to the baby, it's no longer that "new toy" to her. She still likes to talk about when he's sleeping and likes to wake him up, but for the most part she leaves him alone more.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
16 Days PP
Day 16, and baby and I ventured out of the house again! I did quite well this time, at least while we were out. Baby slept through it all, and the cramping/bleeding didn't start for me until we were already home. We went to church this morning to talk to the priest about getting the baby baptized, then went to the store to grab a few things before heading home (though they didn't have anything I wanted - the pacifiers I tried to get were gone, the special order vaseline they got in yesterday was the wrong type (they ordered more of what's already on the shelf instead of copying the last order, and I walked right by the pads I desperately need but only realized an hour ago that I forgot them). I put Will in my moby wrap for the first time and he loved it! Thankfully I still remembered how to tie the whole thing.
Will seems to have caught on to my tricks already. He's figured out what's real and what's pacifier and he's completely rejecting the pacifier now, which I don't understand because I always heard that babies prefer the easier, artificial nipples to the real ones (hence nipple confusion) but not my kids. How odd that someone who LOVED their pacifier for years would grow up and have kids that absolutely hate them from the start! He's also figured out other things, like what's real arms holding him and what's the circular cuddling breastfeeding pillow (which is sad, as Katie loved to sit in it but Will always wants me and only me to hold him!) Katie also loved the swing I had for her, but Will doesn't want the swing. He doesn't want the top of the line bouncer I bought for him (or, for that matter, the vibrating one I bought for $2 either.) He just wants his mommy at all times, whether he's asleep or awake, and he definitely knows the difference between mommy and daddy! He'll scream while Bill holds him, and I'll assume he must want to nurse so I'll take him back. Most of the time when he's in my arms, he'll immediately stop crying, no nursing needed. He just wanted mommy's arms. It's a big change, as Katie always wanted her Daddy and still does (well, with the exception of the last two weeks, but that's just competition for my attention!) Even at Will's age, she never minded sitting with her daddy while I took a long shower or had some time to myself without a baby. Will never allows that! But he's so sweet and cuddly that I don't mind the hurried, rushed showers or the constant holding (though it does make blog posts take forever to write up!)
I'm so nervous about tomorrow. There's a 50/50 chance with Bill going to work, and I'm not ready. I'm more ready than last week, it doesn't make me feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown anymore, but I'm still nervous. And since he hurt his back today (being a housewife is a dangerous job!) I'm even more reluctant to have him go, but it's up to his work now. He has 12 weeks of FMLA, but since he let his boss know that he'd most likely come back in tomorrow, he's not sure if they'll still grant him one more week. I hope they do.
Especially because I really, really want to go to the chiropractor tomorrow or the next day. I have been having such extreme sciatic pain. It's just excruciating and paralyzing. It's actually worse than when I was pregnant. I'm hoping the nerve didn't get damaged during labor or something. It goes from my lower back and shoots all the way through my thigh, knee cap, ankle and to my toes and always on my left side. It acts up multiple times a day, and when it does, I can't take a step further. It's terribly annoying, but I'm hoping the chiropractor can fix it. I feel so out of alignment, my neck and shoulders pop and make noises that just doesn't sound natural and my back is always sore. I think carrying Will to 42 weeks, with my belly being so huge, pulled my back out of proper alignment and now everything is all over the place.
Will seems to have caught on to my tricks already. He's figured out what's real and what's pacifier and he's completely rejecting the pacifier now, which I don't understand because I always heard that babies prefer the easier, artificial nipples to the real ones (hence nipple confusion) but not my kids. How odd that someone who LOVED their pacifier for years would grow up and have kids that absolutely hate them from the start! He's also figured out other things, like what's real arms holding him and what's the circular cuddling breastfeeding pillow (which is sad, as Katie loved to sit in it but Will always wants me and only me to hold him!) Katie also loved the swing I had for her, but Will doesn't want the swing. He doesn't want the top of the line bouncer I bought for him (or, for that matter, the vibrating one I bought for $2 either.) He just wants his mommy at all times, whether he's asleep or awake, and he definitely knows the difference between mommy and daddy! He'll scream while Bill holds him, and I'll assume he must want to nurse so I'll take him back. Most of the time when he's in my arms, he'll immediately stop crying, no nursing needed. He just wanted mommy's arms. It's a big change, as Katie always wanted her Daddy and still does (well, with the exception of the last two weeks, but that's just competition for my attention!) Even at Will's age, she never minded sitting with her daddy while I took a long shower or had some time to myself without a baby. Will never allows that! But he's so sweet and cuddly that I don't mind the hurried, rushed showers or the constant holding (though it does make blog posts take forever to write up!)
I'm so nervous about tomorrow. There's a 50/50 chance with Bill going to work, and I'm not ready. I'm more ready than last week, it doesn't make me feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown anymore, but I'm still nervous. And since he hurt his back today (being a housewife is a dangerous job!) I'm even more reluctant to have him go, but it's up to his work now. He has 12 weeks of FMLA, but since he let his boss know that he'd most likely come back in tomorrow, he's not sure if they'll still grant him one more week. I hope they do.
Especially because I really, really want to go to the chiropractor tomorrow or the next day. I have been having such extreme sciatic pain. It's just excruciating and paralyzing. It's actually worse than when I was pregnant. I'm hoping the nerve didn't get damaged during labor or something. It goes from my lower back and shoots all the way through my thigh, knee cap, ankle and to my toes and always on my left side. It acts up multiple times a day, and when it does, I can't take a step further. It's terribly annoying, but I'm hoping the chiropractor can fix it. I feel so out of alignment, my neck and shoulders pop and make noises that just doesn't sound natural and my back is always sore. I think carrying Will to 42 weeks, with my belly being so huge, pulled my back out of proper alignment and now everything is all over the place.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
15 Days PP
Will is now just over two weeks old. He's doing so well - he seems to really be chunking up fast, and I'm confident that he's continued to gain even more weight. The beginnings of rolls are starting on his legs and wrists, his cheeks are fuller, and he just feels heavier to lug around. His circumcision seems to be healing perfectly and so far we haven't had any problems with it (though I've been going through is special tubes of vaseline like crazy to make sure of that!) His sleeping is still problematic, as he takes two giant naps during the day - from 12-4 he usually naps first, then another 4-5 hour sleep a few hours later. Of course this means that he doesn't sleep much at night. He'll give me a few hours, but he wakes me up about every hour to nurse, needs diaper changes, and then by 6:30 AM he's awake for the day. I'm waiting to reverse this once it's actually possible to keep him awake. Right now nothing will stop him from sleeping when he's ready to sleep!
I'm disappointed to say that my bleeding isn't getting any better since two days ago. It's once again bright red and while it's not very heavy, it's very annoying and it hurts again. I've barely done ANYTHING all day - just small things like going up and down stairs when necessary, helping Katie with a few things, and getting up to grab some stuff for the baby. It's really very minimal and nothing close to what I'll have to be doing soon, and it seems like my body doesn't want me even doing that. Bill is going to go over our money situation to see if we can swing a few more days, but I'm trying to prepare for if that's not a possibility. I feel good, I feel like I can handle more, but then my body gives me a big red flag that's terribly annoying.
Today has been a rough day for me, as was last night. It's so odd, to be so happy over the newborn in your arms and to cry for a baby who didn't make it - and if she had, the newborn wouldn't be there. I'm doing my best to honor Elizabeth today, even though we're pretty confined in the house. It's pouring rain and too cold for a toddler and newborn, so we can't go visit her today (but hope to do so very soon.) I wanted to get a balloon to release, but again, we're home bound. So instead, I cleared off the top of our piano in our main room and I went into our bedroom and attic to where we have all of her things. I brought down everything that really has meaning to her and set it all up, then grabbed all the candles we have in the house. They're lit all day today. While I'm trying very hard to not think of what was happening at this time last year, it's difficult to avoid it.
Will just took one of my arms, so that'll have to be the end of this post!
I'm disappointed to say that my bleeding isn't getting any better since two days ago. It's once again bright red and while it's not very heavy, it's very annoying and it hurts again. I've barely done ANYTHING all day - just small things like going up and down stairs when necessary, helping Katie with a few things, and getting up to grab some stuff for the baby. It's really very minimal and nothing close to what I'll have to be doing soon, and it seems like my body doesn't want me even doing that. Bill is going to go over our money situation to see if we can swing a few more days, but I'm trying to prepare for if that's not a possibility. I feel good, I feel like I can handle more, but then my body gives me a big red flag that's terribly annoying.
Today has been a rough day for me, as was last night. It's so odd, to be so happy over the newborn in your arms and to cry for a baby who didn't make it - and if she had, the newborn wouldn't be there. I'm doing my best to honor Elizabeth today, even though we're pretty confined in the house. It's pouring rain and too cold for a toddler and newborn, so we can't go visit her today (but hope to do so very soon.) I wanted to get a balloon to release, but again, we're home bound. So instead, I cleared off the top of our piano in our main room and I went into our bedroom and attic to where we have all of her things. I brought down everything that really has meaning to her and set it all up, then grabbed all the candles we have in the house. They're lit all day today. While I'm trying very hard to not think of what was happening at this time last year, it's difficult to avoid it.
Will just took one of my arms, so that'll have to be the end of this post!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
13 Days PP
Today is the day before Will is a whole two weeks old! I still can't get over how fast it's flying. Bill has only a few days of paternity leave yet. We almost had him stay home for another week, but then he got a call yesterday saying he has an interview for a foreman position on Tuesday that he needs to come in for, so he might as well go back to work on time. While I still wish he'd stay home until I'm three weeks out, I'm going to have to get over it and learn how to take over this household again.
Will must be going through a growth spurt today, because he spent almost all day fast asleep. He wakes up when I change his diaper and to nurse and then falls right back to sleep. Usually he has a few long wakeful periods, but today he's snoozing through them.
Last night I finally got some good sleep. Katie took a nap in the afternoon, which led to her still being wide awake when I was falling asleep at night. Bill offered to stay up with her until she passed out so I could just take the baby and fall asleep on my own instead of worrying about her. It was lovely! I fell asleep almost immediately, and the baby slept great all night. Katie came up at some point but continued to sleep throughout the night for once. Will did wake up at 6:30-7 AM and stayed awake after that, but I definitely got more sleep than normal. I'm really going to miss Bill being able to help out like this when he goes back to work! It's so needed right now.
My body seems to enjoy tricking me right now. Every time I think I'm getting closer to being "normal", it quickly sets me right. It seemed like my supply had regulated, I hadn't had problems leaking or needing to pump or being engorged at all for days. But then last night I woke up in the middle of the night completely drenched. Every time I think the PP bleeding is gone, it comes back. This time it was gone completely for three days. Today I finally decided that if nothing happens by tonight, I could take the pad off. Of course an hour ago, I started bleeding again! I can't wait to be rid of the bleeding, I haven't had a period in so long, and even last year I only had less than a handful. It feels so odd to have one now, and one that lasts weeks! But it's not that bad, as the worst of it was gone in about four days and now it's moreso just occasionally. I ended up not really using the undiepad things I bought, as I didn't really need them. Last time, the bleeding with Katie was terrible. I kept soaking through pad, underwear and pants. This time I never had that problem at all, and it was just like a mildly heavy period. The cramps and pain were worse this time, but the actual bleeding was better.
Oh, and my kids look so alike! It's adorable! I can't wait until Will is older and I have a little boy and a little girl who are so similar looking with their cute little features. While I've been hoping that my second boy would look like me (his name just seems like he should be more Italian looking than German), I don't think I'd mind having most of my kids look so alike. I'm really lucky that Bill has good "cute baby genes", as it seems like my genetics have no place in my children!
Will must be going through a growth spurt today, because he spent almost all day fast asleep. He wakes up when I change his diaper and to nurse and then falls right back to sleep. Usually he has a few long wakeful periods, but today he's snoozing through them.
Last night I finally got some good sleep. Katie took a nap in the afternoon, which led to her still being wide awake when I was falling asleep at night. Bill offered to stay up with her until she passed out so I could just take the baby and fall asleep on my own instead of worrying about her. It was lovely! I fell asleep almost immediately, and the baby slept great all night. Katie came up at some point but continued to sleep throughout the night for once. Will did wake up at 6:30-7 AM and stayed awake after that, but I definitely got more sleep than normal. I'm really going to miss Bill being able to help out like this when he goes back to work! It's so needed right now.
My body seems to enjoy tricking me right now. Every time I think I'm getting closer to being "normal", it quickly sets me right. It seemed like my supply had regulated, I hadn't had problems leaking or needing to pump or being engorged at all for days. But then last night I woke up in the middle of the night completely drenched. Every time I think the PP bleeding is gone, it comes back. This time it was gone completely for three days. Today I finally decided that if nothing happens by tonight, I could take the pad off. Of course an hour ago, I started bleeding again! I can't wait to be rid of the bleeding, I haven't had a period in so long, and even last year I only had less than a handful. It feels so odd to have one now, and one that lasts weeks! But it's not that bad, as the worst of it was gone in about four days and now it's moreso just occasionally. I ended up not really using the undiepad things I bought, as I didn't really need them. Last time, the bleeding with Katie was terrible. I kept soaking through pad, underwear and pants. This time I never had that problem at all, and it was just like a mildly heavy period. The cramps and pain were worse this time, but the actual bleeding was better.
Oh, and my kids look so alike! It's adorable! I can't wait until Will is older and I have a little boy and a little girl who are so similar looking with their cute little features. While I've been hoping that my second boy would look like me (his name just seems like he should be more Italian looking than German), I don't think I'd mind having most of my kids look so alike. I'm really lucky that Bill has good "cute baby genes", as it seems like my genetics have no place in my children!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Day 12
Day 12! Can it really only have been 12 days since I delivered this baby?! Only 12 days since I've met him face to face, carried him in my arms all day, taken care of him? It seems like so much longer. And yet the days seem to go by so very fast.
Last night Will and Katie tagged teamed me with a sleepless night. When one would finally go to sleep, the other would wake up. When that one finally fell asleep, the other woke up. Oh, and the poop! Will pooped at least four times last night and then Katie pooped in her sleep...it was dreadful. I slept between them, Katie in her crib and Will on the bed and I'd flip over to take care of one then flip again to take care of the next one. All. Night. Long. I'm guessing I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, but that's being very generous. Guess what both children are doing right now? Yep, they're fast asleep at 3:30 PM and have been sleeping for quite a while. Guess who can't sleep? Right again - it's me!
I can't wait for Will's circumcision to heal. So far it looks fine and I haven't had any problems, but I'm constantly stressed about it. Did I put enough of a giant glob of vaseline on it? Am I going to have enough to last me until someone can get it in? (Apparently this very common vaseline, which I'm supposed to only use this exact kind, is not in any of the three pharmacies we've been to. We're having one order it today, but they didn't say when it would be in and I have to make this tube last as long as possible while still giving him generous globs to make sure it won't stick.) The gel foam, which was supposed to last quite a few days, already fell off. Half of it was gone by early last night, and when he woke up this morning it was completely gone. It was so disappointing, as it's what made me feel better. I didn't have to worry about hurting him if he did get stuck on a diaper, because it would just be the foam stuck, not him. But now there's nothing between him and the diaper except what vaseline I put on. This may be why most of the tube is already gone. I can't wait to not have this stress! At the very least, his poop is calming down a tiny bit - instead of every half hour, it's every hour to hour and a half - still a lot but not quite as bad. His rash from the constant poop is gone and I don't need to use desitin anymore - which is great, since he can't have any while the circumcision is healing (nothing with zinc in it.)
On the plus side, I decided to try another 0-3 outfit on him today since he's suddenly sprouted up to 9 lbs and seemed to have grown in length as well. Finally, it fits him! This is really exciting as I have lots of 0-3 outfits and very few newborn outfits.
This morning I woke up to try to see if I could take care of the kids myself. I took the baby downstairs, went up and grabbed Katie to take her downstairs, got her juice and cereal with one hand, put on her shows and changed her diaper, changed the baby's diaper and got to nursing him after letting the dogs in and out. It wasn't too hard, except for now I'm back to bleeding again and my belly hurts. Just like two days ago when I had to walk to baby to sleep. I walked him for an hour and started to bleed again. Bill only has four days until he goes back to work and my body is still trying to tell me to sit down and not move. I'm tempted to get him to stay home for another week if this keeps up, but I'm still debating if that's what's best. It would take the last of our saved up money to keep him home. While it wouldn't break us, it would leave us without any fall back money, which I don't like. I'm not sure what to do yet.
Last night Will and Katie tagged teamed me with a sleepless night. When one would finally go to sleep, the other would wake up. When that one finally fell asleep, the other woke up. Oh, and the poop! Will pooped at least four times last night and then Katie pooped in her sleep...it was dreadful. I slept between them, Katie in her crib and Will on the bed and I'd flip over to take care of one then flip again to take care of the next one. All. Night. Long. I'm guessing I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, but that's being very generous. Guess what both children are doing right now? Yep, they're fast asleep at 3:30 PM and have been sleeping for quite a while. Guess who can't sleep? Right again - it's me!
I can't wait for Will's circumcision to heal. So far it looks fine and I haven't had any problems, but I'm constantly stressed about it. Did I put enough of a giant glob of vaseline on it? Am I going to have enough to last me until someone can get it in? (Apparently this very common vaseline, which I'm supposed to only use this exact kind, is not in any of the three pharmacies we've been to. We're having one order it today, but they didn't say when it would be in and I have to make this tube last as long as possible while still giving him generous globs to make sure it won't stick.) The gel foam, which was supposed to last quite a few days, already fell off. Half of it was gone by early last night, and when he woke up this morning it was completely gone. It was so disappointing, as it's what made me feel better. I didn't have to worry about hurting him if he did get stuck on a diaper, because it would just be the foam stuck, not him. But now there's nothing between him and the diaper except what vaseline I put on. This may be why most of the tube is already gone. I can't wait to not have this stress! At the very least, his poop is calming down a tiny bit - instead of every half hour, it's every hour to hour and a half - still a lot but not quite as bad. His rash from the constant poop is gone and I don't need to use desitin anymore - which is great, since he can't have any while the circumcision is healing (nothing with zinc in it.)
On the plus side, I decided to try another 0-3 outfit on him today since he's suddenly sprouted up to 9 lbs and seemed to have grown in length as well. Finally, it fits him! This is really exciting as I have lots of 0-3 outfits and very few newborn outfits.
This morning I woke up to try to see if I could take care of the kids myself. I took the baby downstairs, went up and grabbed Katie to take her downstairs, got her juice and cereal with one hand, put on her shows and changed her diaper, changed the baby's diaper and got to nursing him after letting the dogs in and out. It wasn't too hard, except for now I'm back to bleeding again and my belly hurts. Just like two days ago when I had to walk to baby to sleep. I walked him for an hour and started to bleed again. Bill only has four days until he goes back to work and my body is still trying to tell me to sit down and not move. I'm tempted to get him to stay home for another week if this keeps up, but I'm still debating if that's what's best. It would take the last of our saved up money to keep him home. While it wouldn't break us, it would leave us without any fall back money, which I don't like. I'm not sure what to do yet.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
11 days PP
Today has been a long day!
We woke up early and I started getting ready for my and Will's doctor appointment while Bill called the birth center to double check and make sure they were still open (as many schools in the area shut down due to the below zero temps.) Unfortunately, they were still open, so I had to get a one week old and a toddler prepared to go out in -2 degree weather. Somehow, with struggling to get them ready as well as me, we made it on time to the center.
I have to say, I was fine about everything until we were actually sitting there, signing papers. The doctor was going over the circ'ing info and I got jittery. Despite one of the sweet old nurses comforting me, it was difficult for me to hand my baby to her. The doctor recommended staying out of the room, and while I was going to have Bill follow, I decided to have him keep Katie busy while I fretted. Luckily though, Will did great. He had his pacifier and while I heard him let out a few angry cries early on, he didn't cry once the procedure began. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes while Katie, Bill and I sat in the side waiting room and talked to some of the other nurses. The doctor came out first and definitely helped to break my tension. "That baby is a pooper!" He said, "he's not joking. I haven't seen that amount of poop come out of a baby in a very long time. He pooped, and then he pooped a few more times!" He told me that it looked very healthy though, but from the sounds of it, the baby really made a mess. I asked when Will would be coming out, and he said as soon as the nurse could finish cleaning him "He really, really knows how to poop well!"
The baby came out without his pacifier but still fine. I took him back and we went to a birthing room so I could nurse him. We sat in there and got lots of info gone over, and Katie played with her reflection until the sun came out. Then she kept asking "where's Katie? Katie, where are you?" She's become obsessed with her own reflection lately! It's funny, as it reminds me of when Anne (from Anne of Green Gables) used to talk to her reflection who was named Katie - which is one of the first places I fell in love with the name.
The nurse came in and gave me my check up. Everything looked fine, I weighed 138 lbs on their scale, and then she weighed the baby. She had to double check because he was 8lbs, 15 oz - and that was after he pooped ALL over the procedure room! In just 7 days, he gained nearly an entire pound. Once again I seem to be making cream instead of milk! I thought he was getting cubbier, but I really thought it was just in my head! He's starting to really grow into his clothing, enough so that he'll soon be in 0-3 - which is amazing, as this time last week he swam in them. He's really getting big quickly! He'll be a roly poly chubber in no time!
On the way home, we stopped by V&S and finally got my prized meal that I've been craving for nine months. While it wasn't my first meal after having a baby (again!) it was delicious today! I'm thrilled to finally have my Italian sub and cheese fries!
Now that the appointments are over, I'm hoping to hibernate for a while again. It's so hard taking a tiny baby and a toddler out in the cold, I'm hoping to avoid doing it again as long as possible.
We woke up early and I started getting ready for my and Will's doctor appointment while Bill called the birth center to double check and make sure they were still open (as many schools in the area shut down due to the below zero temps.) Unfortunately, they were still open, so I had to get a one week old and a toddler prepared to go out in -2 degree weather. Somehow, with struggling to get them ready as well as me, we made it on time to the center.
I have to say, I was fine about everything until we were actually sitting there, signing papers. The doctor was going over the circ'ing info and I got jittery. Despite one of the sweet old nurses comforting me, it was difficult for me to hand my baby to her. The doctor recommended staying out of the room, and while I was going to have Bill follow, I decided to have him keep Katie busy while I fretted. Luckily though, Will did great. He had his pacifier and while I heard him let out a few angry cries early on, he didn't cry once the procedure began. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes while Katie, Bill and I sat in the side waiting room and talked to some of the other nurses. The doctor came out first and definitely helped to break my tension. "That baby is a pooper!" He said, "he's not joking. I haven't seen that amount of poop come out of a baby in a very long time. He pooped, and then he pooped a few more times!" He told me that it looked very healthy though, but from the sounds of it, the baby really made a mess. I asked when Will would be coming out, and he said as soon as the nurse could finish cleaning him "He really, really knows how to poop well!"
The baby came out without his pacifier but still fine. I took him back and we went to a birthing room so I could nurse him. We sat in there and got lots of info gone over, and Katie played with her reflection until the sun came out. Then she kept asking "where's Katie? Katie, where are you?" She's become obsessed with her own reflection lately! It's funny, as it reminds me of when Anne (from Anne of Green Gables) used to talk to her reflection who was named Katie - which is one of the first places I fell in love with the name.
The nurse came in and gave me my check up. Everything looked fine, I weighed 138 lbs on their scale, and then she weighed the baby. She had to double check because he was 8lbs, 15 oz - and that was after he pooped ALL over the procedure room! In just 7 days, he gained nearly an entire pound. Once again I seem to be making cream instead of milk! I thought he was getting cubbier, but I really thought it was just in my head! He's starting to really grow into his clothing, enough so that he'll soon be in 0-3 - which is amazing, as this time last week he swam in them. He's really getting big quickly! He'll be a roly poly chubber in no time!
On the way home, we stopped by V&S and finally got my prized meal that I've been craving for nine months. While it wasn't my first meal after having a baby (again!) it was delicious today! I'm thrilled to finally have my Italian sub and cheese fries!
Now that the appointments are over, I'm hoping to hibernate for a while again. It's so hard taking a tiny baby and a toddler out in the cold, I'm hoping to avoid doing it again as long as possible.
Monday, January 6, 2014
10 days PP
Day 10! Hmm, what's new?
Will had his first bath yesterday, as his cord stump fell off the day before and he had managed to spit up into his hair - the smell of sour milk was not something I could just wipe off! So out came the little blue whale tub that we used for newborn Katie to try out on Will. When I put him in the water, he let out one single "waah!" before realizing that he actually liked it. After that it went pretty smoothly. Of course right when I tried to get him out, he decided to pee (only at the most inconvenient times does he try to pee!) but at least it all went into the tub.
We got out his big swing today, the one we got for free when Katie was a few months old from an Influencer. Katie loved it from the moment she was put in it. Will had other ideas! His first time wasn't happy, but since then he's grown to like it. I managed to get a nice long shower - the first one that wasn't rushed through and lasted about 5 minutes - because I put him in the swing, gave him a pacifier, wrapped him up in his fuzzy blanket and had Bill watch him. He did get fussy by the time I was done, but at least it wasn't two seconds after I got in the water! He hasn't been a fan at all of the bouncer - it worked great for the two days when he'd sleep no matter what, but since then if I put him in it while sleeping, he wakes up instantly and gets upset. If I put him in it awake, he gets upset right away. So hopefully the swing gives us better results!
Tomorrow is the second time we're venturing out with baby (first time was for his doctor's appointment, and we weren't gone for long!). I have basically taken to hibernation since baby was born and I'm reluctant to break that, but there's baby's appointment and mine tomorrow. I'm going to back the new diaper bag tonight as I know I'm going to want to pack the whole house!
I finally got the courage to take belly pics. I'm not shrinking as fast as last time, but it is slowly getting smaller and my weight is slowly going dowm. I think I'm so nuts about still being this big because it feels like its been weeks since I had the baby! I keep thinking I should be much farther along, then I realize it's barely been over a week!
Here's me at 10 days PP:
Will had his first bath yesterday, as his cord stump fell off the day before and he had managed to spit up into his hair - the smell of sour milk was not something I could just wipe off! So out came the little blue whale tub that we used for newborn Katie to try out on Will. When I put him in the water, he let out one single "waah!" before realizing that he actually liked it. After that it went pretty smoothly. Of course right when I tried to get him out, he decided to pee (only at the most inconvenient times does he try to pee!) but at least it all went into the tub.
We got out his big swing today, the one we got for free when Katie was a few months old from an Influencer. Katie loved it from the moment she was put in it. Will had other ideas! His first time wasn't happy, but since then he's grown to like it. I managed to get a nice long shower - the first one that wasn't rushed through and lasted about 5 minutes - because I put him in the swing, gave him a pacifier, wrapped him up in his fuzzy blanket and had Bill watch him. He did get fussy by the time I was done, but at least it wasn't two seconds after I got in the water! He hasn't been a fan at all of the bouncer - it worked great for the two days when he'd sleep no matter what, but since then if I put him in it while sleeping, he wakes up instantly and gets upset. If I put him in it awake, he gets upset right away. So hopefully the swing gives us better results!
Tomorrow is the second time we're venturing out with baby (first time was for his doctor's appointment, and we weren't gone for long!). I have basically taken to hibernation since baby was born and I'm reluctant to break that, but there's baby's appointment and mine tomorrow. I'm going to back the new diaper bag tonight as I know I'm going to want to pack the whole house!
I finally got the courage to take belly pics. I'm not shrinking as fast as last time, but it is slowly getting smaller and my weight is slowly going dowm. I think I'm so nuts about still being this big because it feels like its been weeks since I had the baby! I keep thinking I should be much farther along, then I realize it's barely been over a week!
Here's me at 10 days PP:
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Day 8 PT 2
His cord stump fell off! I don't think anyone is actually excited over this, but I AM! His cord falling off means I can stop worrying about infection, diaper changes can take less time now that I don't have to be careful and work around it, I can start using his better fitting clothing like onesies now that I don't have to worry about irritating it, I can pick him up and touch his belly without worrying that I'm hitting or pulling the cord, I can give him baths now...it's a whole new world with no stump! (yes, I may need some sleep, I realize this.) Anyway, it's an exciting development for me. And his belly button is adorable!
In addition to that, his butt is getting better. The area is smaller now, probably less than half the size it was, and it hasn't had any little bleeding spots in days. It's healing, though he's pooping almost just as much. I'm hoping that in the next few days, it'll completely be gone.
Now if he would just sleep so wonderfully at night as he does during the day. He takes long 4 hour stretch naps during the day, but at night he's curious and wants to stare at me. And trying to keep him awake before bed does NOT work! But, I can deal with his sleeplessness as I can usually get him to fall back to sleep with nursing over and over. It's Katie's sleeplessness that's killer! I'm already dreading tonight!
In addition to that, his butt is getting better. The area is smaller now, probably less than half the size it was, and it hasn't had any little bleeding spots in days. It's healing, though he's pooping almost just as much. I'm hoping that in the next few days, it'll completely be gone.
Now if he would just sleep so wonderfully at night as he does during the day. He takes long 4 hour stretch naps during the day, but at night he's curious and wants to stare at me. And trying to keep him awake before bed does NOT work! But, I can deal with his sleeplessness as I can usually get him to fall back to sleep with nursing over and over. It's Katie's sleeplessness that's killer! I'm already dreading tonight!
Day 8
Day 8! This is going SO fast!
I'm pleased to say that my weight is continuing to go down. I don't think it's going down quite as fast as with Katie, but still - in just one week, I went from 163 lbs to 139. I'm out of the 140's! I only need to get to 125, because I'm trying to stay at a good weight and not slip right back into being underweight. So that's only 15 more lbs to lose, and I'm only one week out!
Will definitely seems older than a newborn. I feel like his adjusted age for being late is a few weeks more than he technically is. (adjusted age referring to how they adjust twins to their due date when they're born early, but this would be the opposite.) Will now has tears, which usually don't happen until a month old. He has these adorable big mouth smiles, the kind that Katie developed when she was a month old. He has no trouble lifting his head and turning it from side to side and keeping it up for quite a long time. In the long run, of course, two weeks doesn't make a difference in life. But right now it makes it seem like the newborn stage is rushing by me. It's like I missed two weeks of his life while he was hiding out inside of me.
He is, however, still a dinker baby. I have a huge supply of 0-3 outfits, and about 10 newborn outfits. I figured he'd be in newborn for a few days and then fit into the 0-3 - wrong! The 0-3 outfits all are giant. He completely swims in them, to the point where his hands and arms come out of the sleeves because they're so loose. I keep running out of newborn clothing all the time. In the opposite end though, his little scratch mittens, which he needs because he loves to claw at his cheeks and eyes, are way too small. His long fingers make the elastic ride up on the heel of his hand instead of at his wrists. Since they only make one size of mittens, there's not much I can do. He likes his hands to be outstretched, not curled up, so they're just not going to fit well.
I have discovered a magical tool though - the blue fuzzy Mickey Mouse blanket I just had to have back in July for him is the best $15 I ever spent. If I wrap him up in that blankie, he immediately stops being fussy and will usually just fall asleep. After the first two days, he decided he didn't like his bouncer at all and wouldn't sit in it. But adding the blanket to the bouncer? He suddenly sits for it!
I also tried his pacifier yesterday. I figured it would help reduce my supply a little bit as I'm still constantly engorged and still leaking the amount of half bottles at a time, and it might make him poop a little less. Since this baby nurses every half hour, (when the doctor said just to make sure they nurse about every 4 hours - yeah right!) it certainly won't hurt to add a pacifier once in a while so I can eat or take a shower (all of my showers have lasted about less than 5 minutes lately because he cries so much when I'm gone). I used it once last night, and he really took to it and with the combination of the blue fuzzy blanket and the pacifier, he put himself to sleep. I'm using it again today so I can eat some breakfast, and while he was less enthusiastic over it, he's been using it. He didn't want it until I covered him up in that blue blankie.
Nighttime has been hell lately. It's hit or miss really, but the bad nights tend to be really bad. I never needed my sleep more than when I'm breastfeeding, recovering from delivery and being up with the baby all day and night. But Katie has been having terrible night terrors. She's terrified of every shadow and movement in the dark. Yesterday she watched and sang along with her Big COmfy Couch episode that tells her to not be afraid of the dark all day long. It's all she watched. She dances to it and sings it joyfully, but it's forgotten at night time. She just doesn't want to go to sleep anymore, and she especially doesn't want to do it on her own. Her timing is just terrible, especially because she refuses to go cuddle with Bill and let him soothe her. Instead, she MUST cuddle with me, while I'm already laying there with a baby attached to me. I have to wait until she's asleep before I go to sleep because of the baby, so I've been spending lots of time laying in uncomfortable positions, where the baby is in front of me nursing and Katie is behind me using my hip or thigh as a pillow and curled up into me. I really hope this ends soon! The only time we get a good night's sleep is when she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night crying. If she actually sleeps through, then I just have to worry about waking up every hour to change the baby's diaper, to nurse the baby, and to clean up spit up and nursing spills.
It still feels so odd to have two kids. I absolutely love it, but it still feels like I'm babysitting sometimes. It's hard to grasp that this new child is part of our every day from now on! He's been such a great baby and I'm just adoring having him all day. While it still scares me at the idea of Bill going back to work and leaving me to take care of these two kids and the house and the dogs all by myself, right now is just heaven. Bill and I are really enjoying adjusting to our new family and splitting up the work between the kids and the house has made things pretty easy going. Why can't it just stay this way??
I'm pleased to say that my weight is continuing to go down. I don't think it's going down quite as fast as with Katie, but still - in just one week, I went from 163 lbs to 139. I'm out of the 140's! I only need to get to 125, because I'm trying to stay at a good weight and not slip right back into being underweight. So that's only 15 more lbs to lose, and I'm only one week out!
Will definitely seems older than a newborn. I feel like his adjusted age for being late is a few weeks more than he technically is. (adjusted age referring to how they adjust twins to their due date when they're born early, but this would be the opposite.) Will now has tears, which usually don't happen until a month old. He has these adorable big mouth smiles, the kind that Katie developed when she was a month old. He has no trouble lifting his head and turning it from side to side and keeping it up for quite a long time. In the long run, of course, two weeks doesn't make a difference in life. But right now it makes it seem like the newborn stage is rushing by me. It's like I missed two weeks of his life while he was hiding out inside of me.
He is, however, still a dinker baby. I have a huge supply of 0-3 outfits, and about 10 newborn outfits. I figured he'd be in newborn for a few days and then fit into the 0-3 - wrong! The 0-3 outfits all are giant. He completely swims in them, to the point where his hands and arms come out of the sleeves because they're so loose. I keep running out of newborn clothing all the time. In the opposite end though, his little scratch mittens, which he needs because he loves to claw at his cheeks and eyes, are way too small. His long fingers make the elastic ride up on the heel of his hand instead of at his wrists. Since they only make one size of mittens, there's not much I can do. He likes his hands to be outstretched, not curled up, so they're just not going to fit well.
I have discovered a magical tool though - the blue fuzzy Mickey Mouse blanket I just had to have back in July for him is the best $15 I ever spent. If I wrap him up in that blankie, he immediately stops being fussy and will usually just fall asleep. After the first two days, he decided he didn't like his bouncer at all and wouldn't sit in it. But adding the blanket to the bouncer? He suddenly sits for it!
I also tried his pacifier yesterday. I figured it would help reduce my supply a little bit as I'm still constantly engorged and still leaking the amount of half bottles at a time, and it might make him poop a little less. Since this baby nurses every half hour, (when the doctor said just to make sure they nurse about every 4 hours - yeah right!) it certainly won't hurt to add a pacifier once in a while so I can eat or take a shower (all of my showers have lasted about less than 5 minutes lately because he cries so much when I'm gone). I used it once last night, and he really took to it and with the combination of the blue fuzzy blanket and the pacifier, he put himself to sleep. I'm using it again today so I can eat some breakfast, and while he was less enthusiastic over it, he's been using it. He didn't want it until I covered him up in that blue blankie.
Nighttime has been hell lately. It's hit or miss really, but the bad nights tend to be really bad. I never needed my sleep more than when I'm breastfeeding, recovering from delivery and being up with the baby all day and night. But Katie has been having terrible night terrors. She's terrified of every shadow and movement in the dark. Yesterday she watched and sang along with her Big COmfy Couch episode that tells her to not be afraid of the dark all day long. It's all she watched. She dances to it and sings it joyfully, but it's forgotten at night time. She just doesn't want to go to sleep anymore, and she especially doesn't want to do it on her own. Her timing is just terrible, especially because she refuses to go cuddle with Bill and let him soothe her. Instead, she MUST cuddle with me, while I'm already laying there with a baby attached to me. I have to wait until she's asleep before I go to sleep because of the baby, so I've been spending lots of time laying in uncomfortable positions, where the baby is in front of me nursing and Katie is behind me using my hip or thigh as a pillow and curled up into me. I really hope this ends soon! The only time we get a good night's sleep is when she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night crying. If she actually sleeps through, then I just have to worry about waking up every hour to change the baby's diaper, to nurse the baby, and to clean up spit up and nursing spills.
It still feels so odd to have two kids. I absolutely love it, but it still feels like I'm babysitting sometimes. It's hard to grasp that this new child is part of our every day from now on! He's been such a great baby and I'm just adoring having him all day. While it still scares me at the idea of Bill going back to work and leaving me to take care of these two kids and the house and the dogs all by myself, right now is just heaven. Bill and I are really enjoying adjusting to our new family and splitting up the work between the kids and the house has made things pretty easy going. Why can't it just stay this way??
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Baby's 6th day
We're just one day shy of a week old now! It's a bit sad how fast it's going. The days feel like they stretch on forever, but it feels like the last week has just vanished. Will still feels so new, but it already seems like he's changing. I hate how time keeps slipping away!
My breastmilk is slowly starting to regulate already, which I'm very happy about. I still need to hand express and freeze some of it, but not nearly as much as I was and they're not getting engorged as quickly. Now hopefully they'll soon stop letting down so fast and overwhelming baby!
The only issue we're having right now is with Will's bum. It was great that he was pooping so often - his organs were all working great, he was definitely getting enough to eat - all good signs. But now his skin is angry at having so much poop happening. I change him immediately after poops, but this kid literally goes about every half hour. And more often than not, when I go to change his poop, he immediately poops five minutes later. I'll change him again, and sometimes he'll go yet a third time. Seeing that it takes me a few minutes to set up the changing station each time (setting up a folded baby wipe to keep him covered, setting up a baby wipe with Desitin on it, getting the diaper ready to put under the old diaper, separating baby wipes I'll need to clean with, etc) it really feels like I never get done changing poops! I can't change him any more often or faster, so I'm not sure how to make his butt less sore. It's quite red, and it seems like every time it starts to look better, it gets worse at night time. I've been getting up 3-5 times a night to change his diaper (which is about every hour or two all night) and it's still not enough. I'm at a bit of a loss. The poor guy has been woken up from so many naps and sleeps because I'm too afraid of letting him sleep long in case he has another poop and needs to be changed. When the doctor saw him the other day, she didn't say anything about it, so I'm sure it's nothing alarming, but it sure doesn't look comfortable and I don't like it at all. I just don't know how to fix it other than continue doing what I'm doing already.
I'm slowly catching up on sleep. I didn't even take a nap today, which has been so mandatory the last week. I'm slowly getting around better, though my pelvic, hip, back and tailbone all still hurt quite a lot.
We took our Christmas tree down today after getting a few pictures of the baby with it. I was hoping to get Katie in them as well, but she just wouldn't work with me. Will wasn't at all happy with getting laid down for the pictures, as he's suddenly turning into a mommy's boy. It's not even that he constantly wants to nurse, as if I just pick him up he's fine. As we found out though during my shower yesterday, this is not the case for Bill, who picked him up, rocked him, talked to him, etc and still Will screamed. I took him back and he nuzzled against me a bit and then fell right to sleep. I had hopes that he'd be a little boy that would let me put him down, but he seems to like his snuggles every bit as much as Katie did! Actually, with Katie I was able to take showers without a problem, she just wanted to be held. This one only wants mommy's arms!
Edit: Have I mentioned that this baby has my ears? No other feature, but he does have my ears! They're close to his head (Katie's and Bill's sort of stick out more at an angle) and they're not as rounded as Katie's/Bill's. Those are my shaped ears!
My breastmilk is slowly starting to regulate already, which I'm very happy about. I still need to hand express and freeze some of it, but not nearly as much as I was and they're not getting engorged as quickly. Now hopefully they'll soon stop letting down so fast and overwhelming baby!
The only issue we're having right now is with Will's bum. It was great that he was pooping so often - his organs were all working great, he was definitely getting enough to eat - all good signs. But now his skin is angry at having so much poop happening. I change him immediately after poops, but this kid literally goes about every half hour. And more often than not, when I go to change his poop, he immediately poops five minutes later. I'll change him again, and sometimes he'll go yet a third time. Seeing that it takes me a few minutes to set up the changing station each time (setting up a folded baby wipe to keep him covered, setting up a baby wipe with Desitin on it, getting the diaper ready to put under the old diaper, separating baby wipes I'll need to clean with, etc) it really feels like I never get done changing poops! I can't change him any more often or faster, so I'm not sure how to make his butt less sore. It's quite red, and it seems like every time it starts to look better, it gets worse at night time. I've been getting up 3-5 times a night to change his diaper (which is about every hour or two all night) and it's still not enough. I'm at a bit of a loss. The poor guy has been woken up from so many naps and sleeps because I'm too afraid of letting him sleep long in case he has another poop and needs to be changed. When the doctor saw him the other day, she didn't say anything about it, so I'm sure it's nothing alarming, but it sure doesn't look comfortable and I don't like it at all. I just don't know how to fix it other than continue doing what I'm doing already.
I'm slowly catching up on sleep. I didn't even take a nap today, which has been so mandatory the last week. I'm slowly getting around better, though my pelvic, hip, back and tailbone all still hurt quite a lot.
We took our Christmas tree down today after getting a few pictures of the baby with it. I was hoping to get Katie in them as well, but she just wouldn't work with me. Will wasn't at all happy with getting laid down for the pictures, as he's suddenly turning into a mommy's boy. It's not even that he constantly wants to nurse, as if I just pick him up he's fine. As we found out though during my shower yesterday, this is not the case for Bill, who picked him up, rocked him, talked to him, etc and still Will screamed. I took him back and he nuzzled against me a bit and then fell right to sleep. I had hopes that he'd be a little boy that would let me put him down, but he seems to like his snuggles every bit as much as Katie did! Actually, with Katie I was able to take showers without a problem, she just wanted to be held. This one only wants mommy's arms!
Edit: Have I mentioned that this baby has my ears? No other feature, but he does have my ears! They're close to his head (Katie's and Bill's sort of stick out more at an angle) and they're not as rounded as Katie's/Bill's. Those are my shaped ears!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
New Year's
At only 5 days old, Will has already existed in two different years! We had a fun night at home last night, enjoying our brand new baby cuddles. It was a bittersweet time, as it's impossible to have this year's New Year's Eve not focus so much on Elizabeth. We talked a lot about her, tried coming up with ideas for what to do on her angelversary in ten days, and looked upon our Will realizing what a blessing he is and thinking over the crazy twists and turns of God's plan.
While Katie was too busy cuddling up with her Molly on the sofa watching her new favorite episode of Big Comfy Couch (which is the one I remember best from childhood - All Aboard for Bedtime, I think it's called and it's all about not being afraid of the dark and shadows, which she's recently become scared of), Bill turned on a live feed of the ball dropping from NYC. We sat together, me holding a peaceful sleeping Will and Bill holding Elizabeth's little lion as we held hands together and brought in another new year together as a newly changed family. It was a big moment for us - we've been through a lot this year. We went from some of the hardest, lowest points in our lives to some of the best, highest points. It's been a year full of a little bit of everything, and here we are putting an end to another year's chapter.
It was a great send off to a year that was both so rocky and so blessed.
While Katie was too busy cuddling up with her Molly on the sofa watching her new favorite episode of Big Comfy Couch (which is the one I remember best from childhood - All Aboard for Bedtime, I think it's called and it's all about not being afraid of the dark and shadows, which she's recently become scared of), Bill turned on a live feed of the ball dropping from NYC. We sat together, me holding a peaceful sleeping Will and Bill holding Elizabeth's little lion as we held hands together and brought in another new year together as a newly changed family. It was a big moment for us - we've been through a lot this year. We went from some of the hardest, lowest points in our lives to some of the best, highest points. It's been a year full of a little bit of everything, and here we are putting an end to another year's chapter.
It was a great send off to a year that was both so rocky and so blessed.
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