Yesterday was 12 days until 12.12. But today has flown by and now it's almost 10 days, and I am SO ready for this. I've reached the point where I know it's only going to get harder the longer I wait. I feel like I've been in early labor for two weeks now. I have constant contractions, it's really painful to walk, I have shooting pains in my cervix every few hours of every day, I'm not sleeping at all anymore, I'm feeling grumpy and...I just really want my baby!
I think Thanksgiving sort of kicked off these feelings. Even though pregnancy has gone so fast, it still feels like I've been pregnant since last year when we announced the pregnancy at Thanksgiving. Since this pregnancy and Elizabeth's were so close together, it just feels like they were one. I feel like I've been pregnant for over a year now. I'm cooked, I'm done, I'm ready.
Today I had shooting pains and contractions and I wondered 'could this possibly be the very beginning?' No fear came with it, I even encouraged it. Of course it calmed down and it was just another tease in a long line of them, but I'm so ready. Nothing is holding me back at this point. No, I'm not looking forward to labor but since it has to happen this month no matter what, I'd rather it happen and be done so I can have my little baby than to keep waiting. I'm trying to be patient, it's just not working very well. Patience is for those who have only been pregnant for nine months. Patience is for those who don't watch two and three December babies being born every single day, watching the mommies go through labor and rejoice in their babies afterwards. Patience is for those who aren't cursed with SPD and feel like every single step made is actually bone breaking. I'm so ready.
I'm trying to find things to occupy my time and enjoy these last days. Their Katie's last days of being our only child, and I've been doing lots of fun things with her while I have the time. We've made cookies, we've gone shopping, we ate out our last meal in a sit down restaurant, we decorated a tree together while dancing and singing to Christmas music and eating chocolate. We have loads of cuddle time, lots of hugs and girl nights. I'm making the most of the time we still have....but I'm so ready!
It's also difficult because I no longer want to leave the house. I don't want to get out of my fluffy pajama bottoms. I don't want Bill to ever leave or go to work. I feel like I'm nesting in my own way - by surrounding myself in my "nest" of blankets and pillows in my own home and waiting for my little hatchling.
I'm not doing any home induction methods due to last time, but I am begging baby on an hourly basis to come on out now.
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