Despite praying every time I go to the bathroom, I feel good. I feel confident. I tell this new baby every few hours "I can't wait to hold you" and "you're going to make it through this with flying colors." I'm nothing but positive right now. I'm not allowing myself the option to worry. My main goal is to stay calm and enjoy this pregnancy, no matter how long it lasts. Right now, I have a baby again and it makes us so happy, happier than we've been in months. Not feeling empty anymore and having something to be happy for throughout each day is a blessing alone. I spend so much of my day in prayer and praising God for this new miracle.
I love that Bill is on the same page as me. I see most parents who lose a child no longer want to announce early, don't want to make plans for the baby, don't want to think ahead. But still, we do. We have concrete names for the baby already, both for boy and girl. We have themes for them. We have announced to almost everyone except his mom and sisters as we wait for the special shirt I just bought Katie (pictured below). But I love that Bill didn't even hesitate to start planning with me. He didn't hesitate to bond with the baby, and right away started to put his hand on my belly with a big smile and ask about who this little one may be. I think a lot of my calm comes from his confidence and ease. With how badly we grieved and were heartbroken over the loss of Elizabeth, I wasn't sure if he'd be so ready to jump with both feet into bonding with our baby, but he has and so have I.
I told Bill on Saturday that I just want to wrap myself up in bubble wrap and not move until second tri gets here. He told me he'd grab me the bubble wrap if I wanted! LOL. I'm trying to get the house all cleaned and decluttered before morning sickness settles in, but I'm making sure to not overdo it or lift anything heavy. I'm taking all my vitamins every day, not eating anything bad, and incorporating more veggies and fruit in my diet. I'm not taking any chances this time, anything I can do to help this pregnancy, even though the last one couldn't be helped no matter what, I'm going to do.
I have a doctor appointment next Thursday to check out how baby is doing. I'll be almost 6 weeks at that point. I feel like the days are going to go very slow throughout the entire first trimester, but I pray for some peace of mind. I don't mind slow as long as I can be confident.
Katie's Big Sister announcement shirt
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