7 Weeks!

Another week down! I'm 7 weeks today, baby is the size of a blueberry, and my symptoms are through the roof today.

I woke up in a terrible mood. Everything made me cranky! True, this is the third day that I had almost no sleep due to Katie teething terribly and being up every hour, but usually I don't get really grumpy for lack of sleep. Today, I was on a silent warpath for everything, even things that had NOTHING to do with me! I was getting angry for other people! LOL.  It shocked me, I'm not usually like this at all!

Once Bill left, I got so emotional. My anger melted into tears and I kept crying. I thought about the next ultrasound and I cried. I thought about Elizabeth and cried. I just kept crying. Now I'm feeling drained and exhausted.

This pregnancy is such a dream come true that it feels almost like it hasn't come true yet. I have been waiting for another baby for so long. I had a year to dream of another baby while trying for Elizabeth. Then I had three months to dream up having her. When she was gone, I longed for a baby. It's been a long journey since we started trying to get another baby in the house, and I guess that's why it's hard to realize that it's actually happening right now. I guess it started to seem like I'd be waiting and hoping forever, that it's hard to stop hoping and to start actually having it happen.

I've been terribly craving cheese steak so badly all day (to the point of me being terribly upset that I wasn't devouring it) but now my dad just dropped one off for me. I have to go and eat it, as Katie is currently eating it like crazy! She likes everything mommy likes!

But first, here's this week's picture: (to clarify, this is EARLY DAY belly - it's not crazy night time bloat. This is the smallest my belly gets now! Oh my goodness...

Last day of week 6

I've now hit that spot in pregnancy when chinese food becomes disgusting to me. This only ever happens in pregnancy in first trimester, any other time I practically drool over the idea of it. I now really crave pizza hut wings, cheese sticks, and pizza - but I learned in my last pregnancy that Pizza Hut causes me to violently throw up. Who would have thought that massive amounts of grease would unsettle my already unstable belly??

Today I've been much sicker. Now it doesn't matter when I eat, I get sick whether I eat every two hours or not. I'm not one of those people that sickness just stays away if my belly isn't empty - it's coming full force no matter what! It's definitely getting rough. I've been trying to do dishes, laundry and cooking for the whole day in the morning, when I feel my best. My midafternoon I'm dead tired and after that, I get super sick. By late night, I'm both tired and so sick I can barely get off the sofa. Tiredness may come from the fact that 1) I have to get up at both 4 AM and 6 Am every night to pee and 2) I wake up now every time Katie latches on because I'm so sore.

To follow up, I took pictures of my belly first thing this morning. Morning is when I have the very least bloat of the day, so I wanted to see the difference. I was pretty sure I'd look almost flat, but instead I'm not too much different from last night. At least this time I should have a really cute pregnant belly, instead of being flat for over half of my pregnancy like with Katie! I guess I'm getting my wish from her pregnancy with this pregnancy - I'm pretty sure I'll be showing really early! Pregnancy #3 is definitely feeling different than the last two.

I'm not the only one pregnant at this house though! I've been wondering what's been going on outside, and today I discovered a soon to be mommy robin making her nest by my back door. She seems new to this, as she's trying to make the biggest nest I've ever seen for a bird her size. It seems like she's preparing for three dozen eggs! Every day, she brings more dead weeds to fill her nest, but it's been so overfilled that it all falls back down. I couldn't figure out why every morning I went outside and would find these dead plants all over my potted plants. I was getting upset, thinking someone was throwing them there or the dogs were doing it. Here it's a crazy nesting bird! Silly thing! I got a picture, but I'm not tall enough to show how long it is up there. It's crazy big, and that's with half of her supplies lying on my back deck!

Holy Bloat!

I can't tell if I'm just going to be absolutely giant this time around, or if my belly is just really consistantly constantly bloated. Really, I'm huge! It's a little less earlier in the day thankfully, but by night I look like I could be 20 weeks pregnant instead of just almost 7. I think that's a good sign though, as I'm gaining weight (from 114 to 118.5) and I'm bloated insanely, which is never a problem any other time. I haven't been this close to 120 since I was pregnant last time, so I'm assuming everything is working pretty well.

To see what I'm talking about, I just stood up and took some pictures of this massive belly:

(to compare, here is my 4.5 week picture - niiiice and flat, yes? This was just a short two weeks ago!)

And tonight:

I mean, right? I'm huge! I know it's a lot of bloating, but I've never ever been so bloated in my entire life, including the last two pregnancies. My body is really running with this expanding stuff it seems! I'm sure eating every two hours (not mere snacks usually, either) is probably not helping my bloating situation, but if I don't eat that much that often, I get violently sick and dry heave constantly and then I can't even step into the kitchen - bad news for both me and my dogs who need me to venture in so they can go potty and get fed. I just can't believe how fast this thing took off!

6 1/2 weeks

I'm six and a half weeks. On a whole, it seems like time is going pretty quickly. It feels like just a few days ago since that nurse told me I was pregnant. On the other hand, each week feels like it goes pretty slow.

So far I've had some good signs. My morning sickness, while it only happens a couple times each day, is getting stronger and worse. Yesterday, I invested in a bucket to keep by the bed, as multiple times now it felt like I was going to lose it before I could get to the toilet. 

Today, while brushing my teeth, I started to gag and dry heave. I looked up and smiled at myself in the mirror. I had that with Katie, too and always look at it with a good sign. Before today, I could brush my teeth easily. Today, I gag. It's progress!

My boobs are also feeling extremely sore and are becoming fuller. I need to eat every 2-3 hours or I get sick. Cars are my enemy. It's getting harder to fall asleep (I always get bad pregnancy insomnia). Seeing that I'm not even 7 weeks yet, this is a good start! All of this started happening in the last week.

The disappointment today comes from the doctor's office calling to reschedule. My ultrasound to check baby and to find a heartbeat is on May 9th now, when I'm exactly 9 weeks. Instead of two weeks inbetween, it's now three weeks. Ugh, that's going to be rough! 18 more days - over half a month! - until we find out the fate of this trimester. The good news is three weeks after that ultrasound, I'll be entering second tri if all goes well. I really, really want to enter second tri this time! I'm so incredibly eager for it. I can't wait to feel the baby kicking and growing. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat at every appointment. I can't wait to have the baby be more than just something I imagine inside of me, but instead me an actual cohabitant. I have until May 30th before I enter second tri!

This is my 6 week pic, showing just how much I'm bloating this time!

6w,1d

I'm feeling better today, at least mentally. Physically, I've been dry heaving, which is part of why I feel better mentally.

I'm trying to not drive myself crazy over the next two weeks. I'm choosing to believe that the ultrasound was just too early and it was useless and only served to prove that I am pregnant. I'm going to assume that this baby is okay, that what our "might be baby" sighting was a baby, and that baby is growing and going to start a heartbeat soon.

I was so sick yesterday. Before we went to the doctors, I nearly had to pull over multiple times. I was so badly car sick! Then when we were home, the kitchen turned into a nightmare. Every time I walked into it to try and get any food or let dogs out, I would get really sick and begin to dry heave. I tried eating bananas and quick snacks to calm my belly and they made it worse. When I went to bed, I got sick again. Nighttime is always when morning sickness kicks up. Now that I'm 6 weeks, I'm on schedule with getting sick, it's the most common time it kicks in.

My stuffy nose isn't getting any better, either. I generally wake up with a nose bleed, which is something I dealt with almost every day in Katie's pregnancy. Through that super stuffy nose, however, I can still smell things like crazy. I'm going nuts with the bad smells around me, when Bill can't smell them at all.

I have plenty of symptoms right now. I have a healthy, on schedule yolk sac. For only being 6 weeks, that's pretty good, I think. Had I not lost my last pregnancy, I don't think I'd be very worried over the last scan. I'd understand that it's normal, and knew going in there that we might not see anything at all. At least we saw the sac and what might be the baby. But it's hard to erase the memories of last time, and it's hard not to apply those fears. For the most part, I feel like I do pretty well. I talk to the baby, I pray for the baby, and I continue to believe that the baby is going to be healthy and will pull through to be our Christmas miracle. It's just hard to remain positive at all times.

1st ultrasound

I'm struggling today. My mind is torn.

I can't say nothing comes easy to me when it comes to kids, because I did get pregnant really easily this time and that was such a blessing. But it seems like getting babies to birth is difficult. To get Katie, I had to make it through ovarian cancer in aces and lucked out in every area. With the last one, we tried for almost a full year, and then we lost Elizabeth. And now, I'm just fretting over this baby.

The ultrasound was mostly normal, I suppose. Not too out of the ordinary for my stage. But it fell short of my prayers. I wanted a heartbeat so badly. Last pregnancy I went through 13 weeks without a single heartbeat to be seen or heard. I crave that now so badly to feel comforted. Today, I didn't get it. We're not even sure if we saw a baby. We saw a yolk sac and after a while of looking, we saw what might be a baby.  The "might be baby" measured 5w, 4d, which would be a good measurement.

I tried to figure out what this means for the next two weeks. Do I act like this ultrasound didn't happen, and continue acting like everything is perfectly normal when there's a chance that it's not? Or do I shut down and put everything on hold for two weeks and try to prepare for the worst so it's not so rough this time?

I finally decided that the one thing this ultrasound did show is that at least for right now, I am still pregnant. I am growing. Whether this pregnancy makes it to term or not, it's still happening right now. So I'm going to take my pregnancy pictures, track my symptoms  stay apart of my due date community, celebrate each week, and continue on.

As long as everything stays like this for the next two weeks, I think it would be best to try and enjoy the pregnancy still as much as possible. If it's gone in two weeks, then I at least had 8 weeks of hopes, prayers and time with our third baby. If it does work out, then I'll be glad that I didn't completely shut down just because there was a chance of not making it through.

This mommy stuff is really difficult. I so enjoy having Katie, and I couldn't be more grateful. I just want more that I can have along side of her, but who would have thought that would be so hard to accomplish?

5w,5&6 d

I had to break out the Preggo Pops a few nights ago.

Thank goodness I had them left over from last time.  I was running around, trying to quick find a bucket to throw up in, when I found them. These little pops that made me cry when I came across them a few weeks after having Elizabeth (I lived on them with her) were a lifesaver. Of course all the yummy lemon ones were already eaten out of it (those were my favorite!) but they still did their job. About 30 seconds after I popped one in, the need to throw up started to go away.

Today, the eve of 6 weeks, I woke up feeling a bunch of different things. My hip is killing me, my breasts are fuller, I look super bloated,  and my nose is stuffy. My nose has actually been stuffy for over a week now. It's always, always one of my very first signs of pregnancy that I never realize until later. I thought this time it was just the sudden spring weather, but it wasn't. I wake up with the normal bloody nose in the mornings again too.

My favorite shirt went to less than half price a few days ago as they're going to discontinue it (and they only had one size left when I got to it!). It's the maternity shirt I've been wanting to get since just after having Katie. I know it's a bit silly to get something like this at 6 weeks, when I have no idea what the gender is, but I couldn't risk never getting it again because it would just be gone. So I bought my first maternity shirt (well, besides what I've been stocking up on at yard sales...somehow that doesn't count because that's practical! lol) I figure if this is a boy, I'll just tuck it away until when we have a girl again. I figure it'll definitely happen again if our baby plans work out!

So I'm currently expecting two shirts in the mail: