16 Days PP

Day 16, and baby and I ventured out of the house again! I did quite well this time, at least while we were out. Baby slept through it all, and the cramping/bleeding didn't start for me until we were already home. We went to church this morning to talk to the priest about getting the baby baptized, then went to the store to grab a few things before heading home (though they didn't have anything I wanted - the pacifiers I tried to get were gone, the special order vaseline they got in yesterday was the wrong type (they ordered more of what's already on the shelf instead of copying the last order, and I walked right by the pads I desperately need but only realized an hour ago that I forgot them). I put Will in my moby wrap for the first time and he loved it! Thankfully I still remembered how to tie the whole thing.

Will seems to have caught on to my tricks already. He's figured out what's real and what's pacifier and he's completely rejecting the pacifier now, which I don't understand because I always heard that babies prefer the easier, artificial nipples to the real ones (hence nipple confusion) but not my kids. How odd that someone who LOVED their pacifier for years would grow up and have kids that absolutely hate them from the start! He's also figured out other things, like what's real arms holding him and what's the circular cuddling breastfeeding pillow (which is sad, as Katie loved to sit in it but Will always wants me and only me to hold him!) Katie also loved the swing I had for her, but Will doesn't want the swing. He doesn't want the top of the line bouncer I bought for him (or, for that matter, the vibrating one I bought for $2 either.) He just wants his mommy at all times, whether he's asleep or awake, and he definitely knows the difference between mommy and daddy! He'll scream while Bill holds him, and I'll assume he must want to nurse so I'll take him back. Most of the time when he's in my arms, he'll immediately stop crying, no nursing needed. He just wanted mommy's arms. It's a big change, as Katie always wanted her Daddy and still does (well, with the exception of the last two weeks, but that's just competition for my attention!) Even at Will's age, she never minded sitting with her daddy while I took a long shower or had some time to myself without a baby. Will never allows that! But he's so sweet and cuddly that I don't mind the hurried, rushed showers or the constant holding (though it does make blog posts take forever to write up!)

I'm so nervous about tomorrow. There's a 50/50 chance with Bill going to work, and I'm not ready. I'm more ready than last week, it doesn't make me feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown anymore, but I'm still nervous. And since he hurt his back today (being a housewife is a dangerous job!) I'm even more reluctant to have him go, but it's up to his work now. He has 12 weeks of FMLA, but since he let his boss know that he'd most likely come back in tomorrow, he's not sure if they'll still grant him one more week. I hope they do.

Especially because I really, really want to go to the chiropractor tomorrow or the next day. I have been having such extreme sciatic pain. It's just excruciating and paralyzing. It's actually worse than when I was pregnant. I'm hoping the nerve didn't get damaged during labor or something. It goes from my lower back and shoots all the way through my thigh, knee cap, ankle and to my toes and always on my left side. It acts up multiple times a day, and when it does, I can't take a step further. It's terribly annoying, but I'm hoping the chiropractor can fix it. I feel so out of alignment, my neck and shoulders pop and make noises that just doesn't sound natural and my back is always sore. I think carrying Will to 42 weeks, with my belly being so huge, pulled my back out of proper alignment and now everything is all over the place.