6 Month Well Check and PP pics

This post is about Will and me!

First, Will is doing great. He had his 6 month check up today and he's still way off the charts and looking very healthy. He's now just a little over half a lb away from being 25 lbs, which is crazy because three year old Katie is only 3 lbs heavier than that! He's also almost 30 inches long. He's going to be a big bruiser!

As for me, I'm finally getting back to the body I've been working months for. Thanks to budget cuts, I've been able to go without chocolate or desserts during the week for a few months now. We hardly ever eat out. While time is very tight because Will NEVER wants to be put down right now, I've developed a system that lets me exercise multiple times a day. 

There's still a lot of work I want to do, I'm no where near done, but this is definitely encouraging to me. Instead of trying to work off fat or trim here and there, I'm now at the starting point to really build up my body. I have a daily routine that I'm going to keep building up as I go.

At the same time, I'm also trying to find a mental balance. I need to be discontent enough to want to keep pushing so I can make a good body a really strong, high performance body. But sometimes I have found that I'm pushing too hard and I get too down about what I've already accomplished. I forget to enjoy that I've at least come this far, and that my body isn't bad looking. It's just not my perfect image yet. Sometimes I forget that not being my perfect image does not equal looking bad, so I'm working on that too. 

Here's me from today, 6 months PP.

My 6 Month Old Outdoorsman

Will gets called many things. In fact, he barely knows his name because we all call him so many nicknames. Some popular ones are Chubbers, Chunkerbutt, Little Giant, Little Boy, and just plain Baby, amongst many others. But lately I've been calling him one new name more than any other: My Little Outdoorsman.

I've never met a baby like Will. He's so very different from Katie, from my siblings, from any baby I've heard of. He took what I knew about parenting and shook it up in many ways, but especially in the way I know how to calm babies. For Katie, whenever she cried - it didn't matter about what, it could be absolutely anything - simply nursing her would cure all of her ails. There was nothing that couldn't be fixed with a quick nursing. Will was never like that. From the very first moment he came out of me, crying angrily, he would not accept the bribe of a boob to keep quiet. It scared me, thinking that I couldn't latch him on, and maybe I had somehow forgotten how to nurse a newborn. Instead, as I'd learn in time, it was just because his anger will not be quenched through breastmilk.

At 6 months old, he has made it very clear what will calm him. No matter what he's crying about, no matter what time it is, no matter how terribly boring it is for me, only one thing will universally solve every problem this little boy has: stepping outside. It can be 95 degrees out, it can be 40 degrees out. It can be raining, stormy, or terribly sunny. He doesn't care, he loves it all. If he's outside, he's silent. It's not even that anything special is happening outside. When we're out front, every ten minutes or so a car may drive by. That's it. Out back, once in a while the wind may shake the tree branches a bit. Nothing else. He doesn't care, he loves it.

All day long, he looks at the front door to the back door and screams a high pitch wail. He knows how to get outside, and he knows he really, really wants to be out there. He looks back and forth and cries desperately for someone to get him out there, like he can't stand being indoors for even another second. This child would literally live outside if he was allowed. When I bring him back inside - no matter how long we've spent outside, he cries the saddest little sobbing noise. He tries to squirm out of my arms, and he stares at the door as he cries. What in the world am I to do with this child? If he's not outside 100% of the time, he acts like he's suffering.

When I was pregnant with him, I thought he'd be my little traveling Sagittarius. I likened him to Bear Grylls, he'd be my wild adventurer. Once we passed Sagittarius and entered the stable, grounded Capricorn era, I changed my thinking. But maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe my little Outdoorsman is my wilderness baby. Perhaps he'll be the survivalist that I had strived to be. Maybe my original thoughts were not wrong?

Besides his obsession with the outdoors, he also needs to be in motion at all times. Whether he's in my arms and needing me to walk him or if he's on the floor rolling, scooting and squirming, he's always on the move. This little boy is not able to sit still for even a minute. While he's napping, he even has to be in the swing because the vibrating bouncer doesn't fool him and he thinks the bed is a joke.

He's tried bananas about a week ago and loved them, but I haven't really started him on solids. However the last few days, he giggles like crazy when I'm eating. He watches me so closely, and then tries to steal my spoon from me to shove in his own mouth. I'm considering giving him little things here and there to see how he does now that he's six months old. He's also a juice cup stealer. If Katie is standing close to him holding her juice cup, he'll swoop in and grab it right out of her hands and immediately put the spout into his mouth. Or, if it's on the ground, he'll do a series of rolling and scooting until he can grab it and get it in his mouth. I bought him his own juice cup yesterday and he went nuts. He mostly just likes to chew on the spout since I got him a soft one, so I haven't tried putting anything in it yet. I still have lots and lots of frozen breastmilk to use up though!

Almost a half year old

I've been doing a terrible job at keeping this updated lately, which is such a shame because Will is just bursting with new abilities and personality lately. He's also on a "I hate sleep" streak, which means I get very little time to myself right now. As soon as he feels himself starting to drift off, he realizes that it's a trap and starts to flail, arch his back and tries to fly out of my arms, and refuses to nurse. It usually takes over a half hour to get him to sleep if he's exhausted, and that's with walking him, bouncing him, patting him bum, having the vacuum cleaner on and nursing him all at the same time. A dream sleeper he is not. But, despite how angry he gets when he's sleepy, he's the most happiest baby I've ever seen, truly. When he's awake, he's nonstop giggles and smiles. I think he'd always be happy if only he didn't have to sleep and if I never stopped moving with him. He needs constant entertainment and stimulation. Very different from Katie, who was a mellow baby who could entertain herself much of the time.

Will loves to move. If I put him down on his back, he instantly flips off of it. He loves to roll side to side, and once he lays on his belly, he hikes him bum in the air and starts trying to leave. Even with just rolling, he's learned how to get pretty far off of where I want him to be very quickly.

He loves to chew on frozen breastmilk popsicles that I put in his mesh feeder. The problem with it is that once it melts, or if it falls out of his hands (he will NOT let me help him eat it, he must do it all by himself) he screams the most high pitch scream in the biggest fit of anger. When he wants something, he definitely knows how to show it. But, no matter how much I give him, he is never done. He just wants an endless supply!

I offered him two bites of mashed banana mixed with breastmilk the other day, as he's only a few days shy of 6 months and I thought he might enjoy it. He loved getting to shove things in his mouth and he seemed to like the texture and taste, but he still has the tongue reflex so I'm thinking of waiting a few weeks more to introduce him to more food. I'm in no rush - Katie ate very few things before she was 8 months old, and then she went right into eating our food - which was so easy for me and her.

Will adores his sister. Even when he's crying or upset, if he spots her or if she talks to him, he'll have the biggest smile ever. Katie loves to say things like "baby loves you!" or "baby loves Katie!" now, whenever he starts to smile at her. It's true, Will is her biggest fan.

Will is trying to talk now. He'll parrot after me many times, if I say "hi", he can say it back. It sounds like he's learning from Katie a lot too. Katie sounds like she has a little English accent with quite a few of her words (perhaps we spent a few too many months watching mostly British tv shows) and she pronounces mommy and daddy like "mummy" and "dah-dee". Whenever Will gets bad, he screams something that sounds exactly like "mum!" I know he doesn't actually relate the word to me, but it seems like he may be getting it from Katie, as I know most babies say mamama or dadada instead. He's a big fan of sticking out his tongue, as well as doing raspberries. Oh, and he has already discovered, much to the death of my sanity, how to fake cough. He loves fake coughing and fake crying. I'm afraid there is no acting career in his future because his fake cries are so terribly fake, but sometimes he gets those coughs to sound pretty darn real. Then the instant he sees me, he stops coughing and giggles like crazy. Too smart for his own good!

He also loves to climb. If I sit him against me, he'll start climbing up me until he's standing on my legs and trying to get over my shoulder. He'll try to climb anything. He doesn't have very good balance yet, so he can sit up unassisted for only a few seconds (but he can sit with a bit of aid with no problem) but give him something that he has even a little support with, and he can do it. Like climbing, or standing, or sitting.

I can't believe my baby will be half a year old already in just four days. It's a little too much to handle with Katie turning 3 in just 8 days. Why are my kids both getting so big so fast? I saw a newborn baby in the store the other day, and it looked like Will could have eaten him. Where has my little baby boy gone? I think he was an infant for a whole two weeks. Then he became a small toddler. He's now a bigger weight than Katie was at 14 months old. When people guess his age, they think he's 9 months to a year old and are shocked when I say he's only 5 months. Small toddler? Maybe just regular toddler size already!

5 months!

I'm getting behind in writing about Will! Life seems so full and fast paced lately that it's difficult to find time.

Will is 5 months old today. At 5 months, he's somewhere over 21 lbs and 27 inches (which is what he was 2-3 weeks ago). He's starting to grow out of his 12 month clothing. He has two teeth budding out now, which have caused so many sleepless nights but finally are giving relief.

For the last month or so, Will has been so incredibly fussy at nap or bed time. To the point where I had to do a series of things all at once to make him sleep. It went something like this: walking him with the lights out, light bouncing, patting his butt, nursing, singing and having the vacuum cleaner on. ALL AT ONCE. For at least 20 minutes (but usually over an hour) to make him sleep. After that, he'd be fine to sleep in his swing for the five minutes before Katie would wake him up.

I'm hoping the last three days aren't a fluke, because they've been wonderful. Instead of having to do all of the above, I've been doing none of it. In fact, I've mostly been lying him beside me and he'll stare at me smiling and then slowly close his eyes. Or if I put him in the new swing*, he sometimes will just drift off.

*Our old swing that I had from Katie, which we got for free and delivered to our door and I loved, gave out. It just couldn't handle swinging Will's chunk for one more day. I heard that Fisher Price has a great customer service though, and will replace most motors or the entire swing so that's what I'm planning on doing. In the meanwhile, I went to yard sales to go grab another as Will won't sleep unless he's in constant motion. I found an awesome Graco Sweetpeace, which are really expensive when new because it has so many different options, for only $5! Instead of just being a swing, the movements on the Sweetpeace mimic a mother's rocking in her arms. Will loves it.

Will loves to roll now. If you put him on the ground, he'll usually instantly start rolling, but he hates to be on his belly so once he gets there, he gets very upset. He loves blowing bubbles, raspberries and kisses. He enjoys being naked best now and seems to sleep better without any clothes on, in his full chubber glory. His eyes are no longer a true blue, but they look like they may be starting to look like how Katie's eyes started, with yellow in the middle which eventually turn into green. I'm not sure how we keep getting green eyed kids! I always wanted green eyes so much as a kid, maybe I willed them to be strong in my genetics! lol. His hair continues to get lighter and is looking like Katie's dirty blonde hair.

My hormones are going insane lately, and I have no idea why. My whole body is a bit of a mystery to me lately! I'm hoping it doesn't mean that I'm getting my cycles back soon, I'd like to hold them off for 8 more months at least!

This week, for some odd reason, I seem to have baby fever. Which is really strange, as last week the thought of being pregnant was enough to send me into a panic attack. Even now, the idea of Will not being my littlest baby is enough to make me want to cry. I couldn't imagine the stress that would come with getting pregnant right now - I don't know where I want to go for prenatal care yet, the middle name for our next boy is the most difficult thing to figure out in the history of our entire marriage, my body is finally coming back to normal, and I am NO WHERE near ready to get morning sickness or give birth again. I still haven't gotten over the trauma of Will's fast and extremely painful birth.

With that said, there have been a few women on my baby board who popped up pregnant again, and I'll go "awww!" Or I'll see a newborn and think it's been years since Will was that small. Talking about those first kicks you feel in pregnancy will give me that little wishy feeling. I don't know what my hormones are trying to do to me. No thought in my head says "I want a baby." Nothing. I have plenty on my plate right now, and I still want to have ONE year of my marriage that isn't spent pregnant.

Maybe it's because Will doesn't seem like a baby anymore. Everyone tells me he's the size of a 9 -12 month old, and he does remind me much more of a 6+ month old than a newly turned 4 month old. He's catching up in actions as well. He's already able to move in ways that Katie didn't even try to do for months yet. He tries to crawl with his legs, he just can't figure out his arms yet. If he doesn't want to sit in the swing and he isn't strapped in (I did this once when I was just trying to get some pictures of him) he knows how to get himself out of the swing very efficiently. Not many pictures were taken at all, he was so quick! He loves to hold conversations. If you talk to him, he'll talk right back in full on babble. He'll go on for minutes, taking turns chatting. He's definitely going to be an early talker - and how could he not? Not only does he listen to Katie talking all day long, but everyone talks to him and he soaks it up. Nothing delights him more than someone giving him all their attention and talking with him. He's very social.

Will's Adventure

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone

I always loved that quote. It was something I found when I was pregnant with Katie and always thought it was beautiful. As a mommy of two though, I see the other side of it - the vulnerability that is constant. It feels like I have two big targets, one on my heart and one on my last shred of sanity, and I'll never be able to remove them. With each child, the targets seem to grow bigger.  There's a whole world out there, filled with dangers that could aim right at my target zones. It's scary.

I never felt that way with Katie. I guess I felt like I had more control. I'm not sure if it's just because it's double the amount, or after Elizabeth, or if all the stuff I've dealt with Will already in such a short time that has magnified the vulnerable feeling and sends me to my knees in prayer over them so often.

Yesterday we had a rough day. While out yard saling, Will and I fell while walking downhill from a piece of uneven sidewalk. We fell out into the street, and Will hit his head. I've had a lot of terrifying moments in my life, but that one definitely soared up to the top of the list. I was in shock, I didn't fully understand what had happened, but my baby was hurt and I didn't know how to fix him. I was sure it was something terrible and that he'd never be the same again. I was so afraid.

Luckily, I have a crazy inner autopilot that turns on whenever my brain turns off or whenever my body goes out of my control. I first discovered it when I was giving birth to Katie. When I was asked if I wanted IV meds or an epidural to take away the pain, I said yes...except the words out of my mouth were "no, I don't want an IV and I don't want an epidural, just leave me here to die" or something close to that effect. But that autopilot got me through my unmedicated, induced birth, coaching me through it better than anyone else could.

Yesterday, it turned on again. It's so hard to explain, but I fell SO fast physically that I didn't even realize what had happened until a few seconds after we were on the street. The baby screaming sort of woke me from my shock. However, mentally it happened in slow motion. My autopilot was so calm and clear. As I fell, I quickly thought "okay, don't land on the baby and don't let him hit his head" and then my body just reacted to it. I made sure to hit with my knees first to slow down impact. Then I took my hand from the baby's head and used it to slow us down more and try to catch us. I was falling too hard and fast to be caught though and continued to go down. My body twisted so I fell onto my left elbow really hard while still clutching Will to my chest. Unfortunately, my one arm has a hard time supporting Will's 20 1/2 lb weight normally, let alone at falling speed, so it wasn't enough to continue holding him against my chest and he fell. Luckily, he only fell the distance between my chest (with my body supported by my elbow) to the ground, about 6" or so.

I hadn't remembered how I fell though for a while. I completely blacked out the whole thing for the first few hours, so I thought he had fallen a few feet, not a few inches. It took me hours to realize that I never let him go, and he didn't fall from my arms when I hit my knees. He fell when I was almost completely on the ground, and my arm still was under him to shield most of his body.

I felt so terrible that I had failed to protect his head. I kept telling him "I'm so sorry" over and over, and the whole ambulance ride over I was beating myself up for not protecting him better. I knew to cover his head as we fell and I didn't. It wasn't until I remembered my fall that I realized why my body did what it did. Had I not let go of his head to catch myself, I would have fallen with full force directly onto the baby. I could have broken his bones, his head would have probably hit the street anyway through my fingers but with impact behind it, he could have been much more seriously injured. By letting go and making sure I didn't fall on him, he only fell a few inches and had a bump that went down within 15 minutes and tiny scrapes. Had I protected his head with my hand, he would have been much worse off.  Somehow, my body reacted exactly as it should have to save the baby from the fall.

So today, baby is completely fine. He doesn't even have any marks on his head anymore, no bump, no redness. He's been a happy baby since ten minutes after it happened. He giggled at the paramedic on the way to the hospital. Using my body as a shield for him however, has left me pretty banged up. I didn't even realize all the injuries fully until today after they had time to get extra sore through the broken night. Both of my knees had been gashed pretty good, enough that they could have used stitches. After the fall, the nurse that lived nearby had to clean my legs from the blood pouring down them. Today, one knee still has the gash looking gross but healing, and my other knee is all bruised and swollen but the scrapes aren't as bad and have mostly stopped reopening. My hand was ground up from the tiny rocks piercing it and it was swollen up a bit and bleeding. At the hospital, we discovered my elbow had taken a blow as well, which has gotten worse today. It only has a few minor scratches, but is all black and blue and swollen. Today I discovered my entire right side is incredibly sore. My arm absorbed so much of the fall and all the joints, from wrist to shoulder to my neck feel all jammed up and things keep making cracking and popping noises from time to time. Hitting my knee so hard apparently jammed up my hip and hurt muscles in my back, as they're part of what makes it so painful to walk. My neck and knees probably hurt the worst. I'd love to make a chiropractor appointment to help with all the soreness from the shock absorption, but I'm too afraid of the ambulance bill to do that. That's what I'll be dreading for the next few weeks.

I'm hoping I heal quickly, because Bill is already back at work and these kids take no pity on me. Even telling Will that my knees literally feel like they're on fire does not make him want to walk any less for multiple hours at a time. Katie doesn't care if I'm sore, she still wants her juice, her food, her diaper changed, her dvd switched, her toy fixed, and wants to take a messy bath in the dog's water bowl.

As much as today is miserable, it's wonderful. I could not have asked for a better outcome, once again. Will had xrays and a cat scan done on him, and everything looked perfect. He's past the first 24 (well, now 29) hours that they usually watch head injury complications for. He's perfect and back to his old self. I did not forsee this outcome after we had fallen! God shows me in so many ways how He's taken care of me and blessed me, over and over. I have to face bad situations from time to time, but He sees me through them and blesses me with the best outcome possible. I have yet to stop saying "Thank you, God" every time I look at Will, or when I close my eyes and relive what happened. Not only did He see us through this situation, but He placed wonderful people at the scene that helped so much. There was a nurse that ran out and started to access Will's head. She cleaned up my legs, gave me ice for my hand, and sprayed antiseptic spray on everything. She had wonderful bedside manner and tried to keep me from becoming hysterical. Another woman ran over and called the ambulance, let me use her phone to call Bill, and stayed with us to help. The paramedics were both wonderful and comforting, reassuring while making jokes and calming me down. And my mom, who was able to help with the baby, share her experience of head injuries, and calm me down like she always does when something bad happens. Sometimes you just need your mom!

Will is so lucky that he has an amazing big sister as his guardian angel! Elizabeth is doing such a great job of watching over us! Time and again, I still feel her with us all the time and it's so soothing to know she's here.

Post Easter

Will is going to be FOUR MONTHS OLD this week! I can't believe it, he's barely a baby anymore!

He loves to play with toys now. He has such good hand control, he's always reaching out to grab something and then trying to eat it. I made him a bunny and got him a Mickey teether and he loves both - he'll pick them up and put them straight to his mouth. It really surprises me that he can control this hands so well already.

He's also able to support his head, neck and back really well. I'm thinking of getting his exersaucer out this week, and trying out his stroller this weekend when we go to yard sales. I was going to wait longer, but he has all the signs that he's ready for things now.

The one thing I was really glad that he skipped out on is starting now. When Katie was a baby, she was "allergic" to Bill. She'd break out in a rash after being held for more than a minute or two by him. We changed EVERYTHING on him, even though he mostly just used what I used as far as detergents, soaps, shampoos, etc. He didn't wear cologne. It was when he did shave and when he didn't. With a shirt on and without. It didn't matter what we did to fix it, she still broke out in a rash. Will never did...until this last weekend. I noticed that after Bill held him for about 15 minutes, the whole side on his face was rashy. Last night he held him for less than 5 minutes and it started again. I don't understand why these babies so do not want me to receive any help or even a few minutes away from them that they have to go to these extremes!

Baby's first Easter went over well. Overall, he was a very happy baby with few meltdowns (because this kid really, really hates naps!) We woke up and got everyone ready for church, then did the Easter baskets. Both Katie's and Will's were overflowing. Will got a super soft Superman bear from Build A Bear, a Mickey Mouse plush with a bunch of teething toys attached to him, and a crochet bunny I made him. He loves clinging to all of them and trying to eat them.

He did really well going from place to place on Easter, and he giggled at everyone who held him. he's such a happy, social baby!