Baby has been going absolutely NUTS in there for two days. Last night he kicked me so hard and his foot came so far out that he woke me from a dead sleep and I had to push his foot back in while trying not to panic about how freaking far it was out of me. It actually feels like it's bruised. He's been a total maniac. I know that at this stage, amniotic fluid is at a new low vs any previous week, so feeling him is a lot easier without as much buffer, but wow does he startle me.
I'm grateful for his constant heavy movements though, because the doctor appointment yesterday really made me worry for a while. I haven't grown in fundal height in two appointements, and at my last appointment I was behind. I know, fundal heights aren't too reliable, but seeing that I always measured on track before these appointments and always with Katie, it sent little red flags waving in my peace. I think especially after a miscarriage, the horrors that sneak into your head are just unavoidable and of course I freaked out a bit. I'm feeling better today though - and keep remembering that his heart rate is totally on par, he's super active, I have no pains or bleeding or worrying symptoms, all of my stats besides that were spot on...so chances are, everything is fine. He may be gearing up for a growth spurt, or since he's moved into the head's down position it's now causing different measurements than before. I tried to push an ultrasound now instead of just waiting since with my history, I hate the idea of just waiting, but I didn't get it so now I have two weeks to pass.
It seems like just the idea that something could be wrong shook Bill as well. He never said anything, except in the car he did ask what could be the causes of no fundal growth and he didn't like that the midwife would just finish up the appointment with saying that something could be wrong but we'll wait and see. But today when I mentioned about getting cleaning done around the house every time the cold meds kicked in, he said to not worry about it and to just rest because he'll take care of it. When I asked why, he said I'm getting to the end of pregnancy now and he just really wants me to be healthy and rest up. Emotional flash backs from Elizabeth will forever scar us and bring back moments of fear. While he doesn't mention it, I know he has the same moments of panic that I do.
But on a more cheerful note - everything still seems fine and I'm very nearly at 34 weeks. After 34 weeks, usually if NICU is needed it's only for about a week. So I'm very, very close to that safety zone where should anything happen and baby needed to be born, he could probably breathe on his own, suffer no lasting issues, and be able to go home after a few days. That makes me feel much better, but I don't think I need to worry about that anyway. I have a feeling this little boy will go overdue.
I've become a public fear now, apparently. For the last few weeks, EVERY time I go somewhere, someone looks at me with these big deer in the headlights look and fearfully asks me "you're not going into labor, are you?" I have NO idea what it is about me that everyone thinks this, but if I have my hand resting anywhere near any part of my belly, they immediately say it. If I'm slightly leaning on my cart, which I do even when I'm not pregnant so it's just out of habit, someone will say it. Heck, if I yawn, it makes people ask! It's like these people have never seen a woman in labor before. I do not look in pain, or in any urgency - if I'm in labor, I guarentee you're going to know it without a doubt without having to ask me! It was funny at first, but a bit annoying now. Seriously, what is it that has people asking me this? I never had this with Katie. It's not even in a joking manner - they say it in fear and then tell me a lovely story about how they knew someone who gave birth so suddenly and it was so much screaming and carrying on and they are NOT going through that with me. Um...okay? The woman who said it to me a few days ago actually told me - IN ALL SERIOUSNESS - that it's easy for the woman in labor, but she doesn't think of how hard it is on the people around her. Excuse me, did you really just tell me that??
I'm entering the nesting phase. I'm suddenly going nuts about the house. I actually feel the need to throw a lot away just to make the clutter disappear and avoid it from building up. I want everything clean and ready. Hopefully this weekend will be full of decluttering and moving things into their final positions (because having boxes filling up the nursery is driving me nuts!)
It was too cold to change into picture outfit today, so I didn't take one yet. Thinking I may need to modify what I wear now, as it's frosty up in the nursery (we have a space heater downstairs for us) and I'm trying to not turn on the heat for a few more weeks (the only reason I'm actually sticking to that is because all the heaters need to be taken apart and vacuumed out, as Sophie fur accumulates inside of there and poses a fire hazard).
Edit: managed to suck it up and take one!
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