Test Results

Today started off rough.

All last night I had horrible dreams about miscarrying babies. I managed to wake myself up from them a few times, even went to the bathroom to try and shake it, but I kept falling back to sleep into the same dream. What are the odds of doing that over and over? Why did it have to be for that dream? By morning, I was exhausted. I had dreamt that I lost four babies in a row and had to keep finding names for all my angels and finding little wooden boxes to bury them in. It was terrible, and it clung to me.

It got harder when I was awake. We got up early at 8 AM and headed to the hospital to get my blood work and rhogam shot. When we parked, I started to get really upset and teary eyed. I didn't even know why, it was just so sudden that this really upset feeling hit me. I finally realized why my heart was hurting even before my brain could analyze it. We were parked in the exact parking spot on the street as when we had come last time. Last time was just minutes after we found out that we were losing Elizabeth. They had sent us over to the hospital immediately for the exact same thing I was getting today - blood work and rhogam. The memories of that spot were just so clear. That day I couldn't get out of the car, I couldn't stop crying. My phone kept going off but I couldn't even think about talking to anyone. Bill was telling his mom, who had called to ask about the baby, what had happened. We had gotten food because I was so sick, but I couldn't stomach eating any of it. It was the beginning of the hardest time in our lives. And today, even though we're in such a better place, it all rushed back into me and I could feel exactly how I felt that day. Sitting in the car for that moment, it just felt like I was right there again. When I told Bill, he said he didn't remember that, he thought we had gone to the hospital weeks later, but I can remember that day exactly. I can remember every minute of it. I know what I was doing, what he was doing, every emotion of every minute is just burned into my mind. Especially after last night's dreams, it was a really rough thing to go through today.

My day got better from there though, thankfully. Once we were in the waiting room, Katie found a friend to play with for a half hour and Bill ran out and got me breakfast to bring back since we know well that me getting blood drawn on an empty stomach is disastrous. Once I was called back about an hour later, I told the nurse about using butterfly needles on me, especially because my veins are still swollen and bruised from the glucose test - and she actually listened to me! 9 times out of 10 when I tell a nurse to use the butterfly needles, they don't listen and they proceed to blow out my veins, bruise up my arms, and be unsuccessful until finally they say "I should use a butterfly needle." Yeah...I know. But this nurse thankfully listened and had no problems. She got into one of my bruised veins without any trouble at all, took the four viles of blood and sent me to get the rhogam shot - which was actually the best rhogam shot I've gotten so far! For the very first time, it didn't sting like crazy going in (it's a big, thick needle!) and it didn't burn like acid afterwards. Usually I leave limping and I was fine this time. Maybe I'm just fatter now than usual! lol. Either way, much better than what I was expecting.

When we got home, I took a nap because any blood draw tends to tire me out. Once Bill left, I woke up and got out the stroller since it's such a nice day and Katie was asking to go on a walk. We went to the dollar store for some shopping (I didn't buy any baby stuff! Okay...I bought one outfit....but it was on sale!) and by the time we were heading home, Katie was fast asleep. She slept in her stroller for a while, then came to cuddle with me. Over two hours later, she's still asleep!

I just got a call from the Birthing Center that really helped to brighten my day. I passed the glucose test! With Katie, I passed it by only one point and they made me do the three hour. This time, I passed by 13 points! In addition, even though for the two weeks I was sick I didn't take my prenatals, ate no red meat, ate nothing with much iron at all like spinach and did no cooking from my cast iron, I managed to have good iron levels! With Katie, they were concerned because I was borderline and had me take supplements. This time I don't need to because my levels are higher - and that was with being very sick and not eating very well or taking my vitamins! She said everything they tested me for I passed with good numbers, so I'm thrilled, as a low iron count will earn me a hospital birth, as will failing the glucose test. Now I just need to get a good result on my GBS test and get Katie's new pediatrician to sign my baby papers and I'll be all ready to go! Of course this happened last time and I still didn't end up with a birth center birth, but at least I have another chance and I know more this time.

 Hopefully my day continues to improve and we have a nice, relaxing weekend. I could use it after dealing with sickness for over three weeks and then being so stressed this week over these tests and trying to get everything done!