It was around this time in my pregnancy with Katie that I started to sing to her every night. When she was a baby, she was easily soothed by those songs that I had sung every night. In fact, last night there was a lightening storm and she was overly tired but couldn't fall asleep. She didn't want to cuddle, she didn't want to lay down, and she was crying. I asked her if she wanted me to hold her and sing to her, and she said yes and hurried up. I haven't sung to her in a while, but she curled up in my arms and I sang Baby Mine to her. By the third time I sang it, she was fast asleep.
Today I started singing Puff the Magic Dragon (or rather, trying to. It ALWAYS makes me cry in pregnancy. And now the line that goes "a dragon lives forever, but not so little boys. Painted wings and magic rings make way for other toys" makes me tear up more. I'm not ready to think that little boys grow up and leave, which is how the song ends - Jackie Paper stops visiting Puff because he grows up and loses his imagination. Anyway though, I started singing it, and as soon as I did, Katie immediately stopped what she was doing, ran over and started to cuddle and kiss me. I think she must remember that one too. Normally when I sing other kinds of songs, she doesn't even pay attention. It's adorable - last night when she fell asleep in my arms just from me singing had me having major flash backs to when she was an infant and I'd be up walking her in the nursery, singing the same two songs over and over and over until she calmed down and fell asleep.
I felt broken yesterday, but in the opposite of usual. I was overly energetic. Hmm, maybe energetic isn't right. Restless? That's probably better. Our town had a Hamburger Festival and we went FOUR times. We were there for about eight hours all together. No, it isn't the most amazing festival ever that you just have to spend all day there, but I kept going. I kept dragging Bill and Katie back out to do more because I didn't want to sit. Alright, the fact that there were Cheese Fries was also a driving factor at times! Even after those four times, I still wanted to go out, this time just for a walk or to go to the park...anything to keep going. I have no idea what was wrong with me. My feet ached and I knew I was going to regret it all later, but sitting felt like my skin was crawling. It was like I couldn't bare to sit.
Today is another story. Today DOES hurt. My legs are locked up, my back hurts, my chest is tight. I woke up in pain and at 11 PM, I'm still in pain. And sleepiness galore! I passed out twice today. I kept getting overwhelmingly sleepy, so I would keep Katie with Bill and I'd go nap for a while. I'm still sore!
I feel broken in other ways too. As in, I have baby fever. Which should be obvious, most pregnant women have baby fever, eagerly getting ready for their babies. I'm getting everything ready, super excited about this little boy...but I'm having baby fever over the next baby too! I keep thinking of what the next one will be, or what I even hope it'll be (two little boys in a row would be adorable, and I have my perfect boy name picked out already that I've wanted to use since I was a teenager. But I'd also love to have another little princess and get my girly on again, and have another girl as close in age to Katie as possible.) I keep thinking of what the girl name would be - as now I'm reconsidering the names. I have six names I really like for a girl (though Bill is iffy on one, another I haven't told him about but he probably won't like it, another he hates, and the other two he agreed on but now I"m not sure!) And then the theme! I'm pretty sure I know which princess I want for a girl, but still debating. For a boy, I'm almost positive what I want the next one to be.
BUT, the bottom line here is what the heck am I thinking about the NEXT baby for? Now I can't even get through a pregnancy without thinking of the next? My hormones must be going nuts. As if I didn't have enough to prepare for with this Christmas miracle! Calm down, ovary - let's do this one at a time!
I think the baby flipped in the last few days. I went from getting my cervix tap danced on every hour to now not being able to breathe. I get higher movements now, and no cervix dancing (YAY!). Not that it really matters yet, even though most babies start to turn between this week and next week, there's still plenty of time for him to be a little trouble maker and flip back to cause problems. But, I'm trying to be optimistic!
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