Immediately, the doctor seemed to know how nervous I was. I guess it showed, a half hour sitting in the room had worn on me. I had started to feel a bit panicked, wondering if being only positive was a good idea. What if it didn't go how I was hoping? I hadn't prepared for it, and I knew I would just completely break down. I got scared that I wouldn't be able to keep it together at all. The doctor didn't fool around this time, usually he jokes around and talks, but this time he only asked how I was feeling and if I was sick, then started the ultrasound.
The problem with this kind of ultrasound is while it's still away from the uterus, it can't see much. At first, I saw my uterus blank, which made me immediately hold my breath. As it got closer, I could see a flicker of something, but couldn't tell how big it was. Finally, though it was only for about two seconds, it waved over the baby. Those two seconds were all I needed to start to cry - I saw a head and little body that looked exactly like a 9 week old baby. He quickly went back to the baby, and asked "can you see that? That's the heartbeat." I said yes, but honestly my vision was so blurry that it took a few seconds for me to actually see the little heart beating away. He turned the sound on for me then and let me listen for a while, saying it was a healthy, perfect little heartbeat. He measured the baby, which was 8 weeks and 4days, exactly the same length of days behind as my last ultrasound when he measured "what might be baby" at 5w, 4d when I was 6 weeks. After taking pictures and measuring, he checked my ovary and said that looked fine, and then it was over.
I immediately asked for copies of pictures, which (I suppose while I was trying to dry my eyes) he had already printed out for me and handed them. As soon as I was holding pictures of the baby and he reviewed that baby looked perfect, that there was almost a zero percent chance that anything would happen, and that I can calm down and relax now, I started crying again. It was SO hard to believe that this time, my every hope and dream came true. It couldn't have went more perfect. This time, I had that perfect ultrasound that I've spent every day and night praying for.
Afterwards, Bill surprised me with going to Chick-Fil-A (I thought he made a wrong turn and didn't know where the baby store was) and after eating, we went to Babies R Us to pick out a little stuffed animal. I felt so guilty a few days ago, I've been so worried and busy being nervous about this ultrasound that I forgot about my fun little traditions, like getting a stuffed animal each time. For Katie, I got it at 5 weeks, for Elizabeth, I got it at 7, and for this little one, I got it at 9. Bill asked if he could pick out this one, and since I picked out Katie's and Katie picked out Elizabeth and both times he wasn't there, I said that was fine. While I passed some adorable little animals like a crooked smile duckie and a musical giraffe that had rainbow dots all over it, Bill chose a little light blue doggie. While I was against the blue, he then said if it's a girl I can buy lots of pink stuff to put around the blue doggie to make up for it. Well, I was sold there and let him get the blue dog. I also sold him on the nursery set I'll be getting if it's a little boy (they had the entire line of Monsters Inc nursery set, which is even more adorable in real life than in the pictures I've seen!) since we only have little girl bedding and nursery supplies. I think we'd actually spend more money on a boy at this rate than a little girl!
Here's our ultrasound pictures of our little snowflake:
And my 9 week picture for today:
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