I think I'm awake enough to write. I may not be. Either way, I"m pretty out of it but I'll try to get this out. Last night was one of the worst nights ever. NO ONE in the house slept! Katie fell asleep early as I was preparing her bath, but it was only about an hour before her bedtime so I figured she'd be okay. I had Bill put her to bed, and then we went to bed around 11, knowing we had an early baby appointment today. Well, midnight hit and this child was AWAKE. Nothing would put her to sleep. After she got her juice she started to do better, but then I turned my flashlight on to change the baby's diaper. That was it for her - she saw a shadow on the ceiling and for the first time ever, became terrified of something. She kept shaking my saying "Monster! Monster!" Usually she loves monsters, so I said "okay, monster" (I'm half asleep) and kept changing the baby. She started to roar like a monster and kept talking about it until she started to cry. She wouldn't calm down about the 'monster', even after shutting off the light and making it go away. Eventually, we had to split up the family - Bill took Katie downstairs and he stayed up/took naps with her on the sofa while she watched Big Comfy Couch, cuddled with Daddy and played with her new Leapfrog Ultra toy that Bill surprised us with as her Big Sister toy. (Let me tell you - it's a LIFESAVER! She thinks it's like a giant smartphone just for her, and since we're just days away of getting rid of our phones, it's a great time to make this transition.)
Anyway, it was extremely difficult to wake up early this morning. I was up all night with Will and my boobs - both which wanted to give me issues. Will wanted to nurse often, and both of my boobs wanted to make rivers at all times. The more I nursed, the more both of them wanted to soak everything.
We did make it to the appointment somehow, though. Katie fell asleep in the car and slept through the whole appointment, and Will just wanted to nurse the entire time. The doctor checked him out and said he was doing amazing. They usually have to bring all babies back for a two week check up to check if they're gaining enough weight, but Will is already past his birth weight. I was worried because he poops about every half hour (not an exaggeration!). His meconium was gone within the first day. I thought with a baby who pooped so much, he might not be gaining much weight and all the milk I've been giving him would just even him out instead of make him gain. But, he did gain one ounce - not bad, seeing that he's pooped like crazy since birth and I've only had my milk in for less than three days!
The doctor also said I don't need to worry about jaundice now, his color is great and the kind of jaundice that's worrying would have showed up by this point, so there's no worry there - what a relief!
So because he's already past his birth weight, they don't need to see him back for a whole month! I love this place - with Katie, even though she did the same with weight, they made me go back every single week for over a month, and then every two weeks for another two months. It was so nice to hear that we don't need to do that this time! They said he still looks perfect and he's the picture of health, so I'm happy.
Today is a useless day - we're basically taking nap cycles. Katie has been sleeping since 8-9 and at 3:30 she's still completely out. The baby has been sleeping for about an hour. I slept from 10:30-2, and now it's Bill's turn to nap. It'll be a very tame New Year's Eve here! We all just want to snooze it away.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Baby: Day 2
Baby will is now two days old! It feels like so much longer, probably because there's not nice long sleeps in between!
My milk came in last night already. It was very sudden, and since I remembered the horrible sharp pain that accompanied it last time, I thought it wasn't in yet because I hadn't felt it. I had just blown up like balloons within a few hours. But when Will started to spit up a bit in white, I looked and sure enough, I was very full of milk! It came in even earlier this time than last time, and last time it only took about two days. While it still hurts to latch him on and I contract insanely and very painfully while nursing, the milk coming in wasn't painful at all. I'm very full, but not feeling engorged. While they're quite hard, I've been doing my best to keep him nursing enough to take some of the hardness away, but even so it's not painful and no lumps are forming.
This little boy is a crazy poop machine! I don't remember Katie going this much. I think I'm changing a poop every two hours. On the hospital chart, it says today I should be looking for 1-2 soiled diapers and 2 pee diapers. My goodness, he has gone so far beyond that! This little boy's organs are all working very well. He also shows no signs of jaundice yet, which I'm glad about. I do plan on putting him under the lights for the next few days.
Right now I'm really enjoying the newborn sleep stage. He sleeps for a few hours, wakes up to nurse and get his diaper changed, and then falls right back to sleep. It's lovely! If I didn't have Katie needing mommy time, I'd be able to get lots of sleep. Instead, she's still getting lots of cuddles and we've been setting up Christmas toys together. She's been handling the baby quite well - the only time she freaks out is when she wants to really play with him more than I can allow. She wants to help out and hold him and feed him all the time, and loves to point out body parts. She's been very sweet and gentle though! The only time she gets upset besides that is usually at night time - she wants mommy cuddles then too, and daddy cuddles are NOT the same! I spend my night switching off from nursing Will and cuddling Katie. One of them is always in the crib, the other is usually beside me. Tonight we're clearing out Katie's bed and putting her in it to sleep to see how long she'll stay in there, as she's been doing so well in the crib. I'd love to get her in the bed and him in the crib at the same time so I could get a few hours of sleep myself!
Since my milk came in, I noticed Will sometimes spits up and sometimes gags. While the spit up is very minimal, I've been keeping an eye on his gagging and hoping that it's just normal. It's only happened a few times, but I don't remember it happening last time and I'm just watching out for other things it could be.
Smells like it's time for another diaper change, which seems to be every five minutes. Between Katie, Will and myself, I'm changing somebody at least once an hour! It's almost like a constant rhythm of changing.
My milk came in last night already. It was very sudden, and since I remembered the horrible sharp pain that accompanied it last time, I thought it wasn't in yet because I hadn't felt it. I had just blown up like balloons within a few hours. But when Will started to spit up a bit in white, I looked and sure enough, I was very full of milk! It came in even earlier this time than last time, and last time it only took about two days. While it still hurts to latch him on and I contract insanely and very painfully while nursing, the milk coming in wasn't painful at all. I'm very full, but not feeling engorged. While they're quite hard, I've been doing my best to keep him nursing enough to take some of the hardness away, but even so it's not painful and no lumps are forming.
This little boy is a crazy poop machine! I don't remember Katie going this much. I think I'm changing a poop every two hours. On the hospital chart, it says today I should be looking for 1-2 soiled diapers and 2 pee diapers. My goodness, he has gone so far beyond that! This little boy's organs are all working very well. He also shows no signs of jaundice yet, which I'm glad about. I do plan on putting him under the lights for the next few days.
Right now I'm really enjoying the newborn sleep stage. He sleeps for a few hours, wakes up to nurse and get his diaper changed, and then falls right back to sleep. It's lovely! If I didn't have Katie needing mommy time, I'd be able to get lots of sleep. Instead, she's still getting lots of cuddles and we've been setting up Christmas toys together. She's been handling the baby quite well - the only time she freaks out is when she wants to really play with him more than I can allow. She wants to help out and hold him and feed him all the time, and loves to point out body parts. She's been very sweet and gentle though! The only time she gets upset besides that is usually at night time - she wants mommy cuddles then too, and daddy cuddles are NOT the same! I spend my night switching off from nursing Will and cuddling Katie. One of them is always in the crib, the other is usually beside me. Tonight we're clearing out Katie's bed and putting her in it to sleep to see how long she'll stay in there, as she's been doing so well in the crib. I'd love to get her in the bed and him in the crib at the same time so I could get a few hours of sleep myself!
Since my milk came in, I noticed Will sometimes spits up and sometimes gags. While the spit up is very minimal, I've been keeping an eye on his gagging and hoping that it's just normal. It's only happened a few times, but I don't remember it happening last time and I'm just watching out for other things it could be.
Smells like it's time for another diaper change, which seems to be every five minutes. Between Katie, Will and myself, I'm changing somebody at least once an hour! It's almost like a constant rhythm of changing.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
The Baby's (Finally!) Here! Birth Story
Our sweet little miracle is finally here! He arrived at 2:31 am on 12.27.13, weighing in at 8lbs, 1.8oz and 20.5 inches in height. He's completely perfect and right away got great health scores.
The labor though was absolute hell. Much worse than with Katie! I was absolutely not prepared for it, and I prepared A LOT!
We arrived in our room around 5 PM, got all set up, and then midwife Robin told me her induction plan. She was going to put an induction pill at my cervix (which I wasn't for but ended up going with anyway) as she said she never has any luck with a foly bulb and usually it'll just dilate someone to a 3 and then they get stuck. At a 3, the pill is no longer a possibility so you're on pitocin for the entire rest of the time. She said with me being still high and at a 1 with my water in tact (they didn't want the bulb to push the baby's head back up and risk getting the cord come down first when the large amounts of water did break) that the pill would be the best option. She told me that should get me to about a 4 and then they'd put me on a low dose of pitocin and monitor it. She said she hoped that by sometime in the morning, I'd be ready to push.
Once she put the pill in at 7 PM, she told me she'd be leaving until midnight and then would be back to check on me. She said if I was more than a 3-4, she'd come in for the night and hoped to start pushing around 4 AM. If not, she'd wait until I was further along and we'd have baby in the morning.
I was exhausted. I went into the hospital super tired, so I slept as much as I could. The pill gave me contractions that were frequent by 9 PM. They were coming every minute or two, but I was happy that even while watching the contractions spike really high on the machine, I was able to breathe my way through them with minimal issue. I eventually fell into a light sleep until at a little after midnight, I woke up with a horribly sharp pain that felt like a knife went through me. Instantly, I started to gush. Bill was asleep and I couldn't reach the nurse's call button, so I started yelling and throwing things at him as contractions started instantly. He eventually woke up enough to call, and a doctor came in to check me. I was at a 2! I was completely crushed. Here I was thinking if my water had broken, I must be at least half way there. I was so excited, and it really was a harsh blow. She said she would call Robin and update her. Robin decided that it wasn't far enough for her to come in, and that she'd check on me in about 4 hours.
Meanwhile, I started dying. I tried to call my mom again to update her on my water breaking, but I was in so much pain I couldn't. I was gripped with contractions that were the most hellish, horrible feeling pain in the world, and they suddenly came every 30 seconds. There was no gradual build up of pain, it went from 0 - a million suddenly. I couldn't even catch my breath! They often double teamed as well, where as soon as I'd start to feel the relief of one contraction ending, another would come roaring in. They always started at the very tip of my pelvis, where it's been hurting for months, and would spread like wild fire. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me, I was absolutely flipping out at only a 2! The nurse kept asking me, though I told her in the beginning not to, if I wanted drugs. At this point, I had no focus, I was being thrown from one contraction into another with no time in between to gather my thoughts and the intensity of the contractions was so rough that I could barely breathe, let alone do the calming hypno-breathing to calm me down, so I agreed to get nebain in the IV they had set up for pitocin. I could only think that if it was tearing me up this badly at a two, I would never make it to a ten without help. I was so afraid of it taking me so long while using up all of my strength that I'd end up with a c-section. I just kept saying that there was no way I was going to get through this with being at only a 2 and that was the biggest fear of mine. If someone could have only told me that I was in transition, I would have been fine continuing on.
Instead, at this point, I felt like such a pansy! I was losing my mind while barely being dilated. I had no idea at the time, but this was actually transition, and I was not a 2, I was probably about an 8-9. I asked for the IV meds, declined the epi, and begged for them to hurry up already. It did extremely little once they finally got it for me. It made me very dizzy and drunk feeling, and for about five minutes it helped in between contractions. But since there was barely any time at all between contractions and it didn't touch the contractions themselves, it quickly just became something that made me dizzy.
It was around 2 AM that I got up needing to go to the bathroom terribly. I finished a contraction and practically ran to the bathroom, lugging my monitors with me. I got on the toilet and emptied everything, but still felt a lot of pressure. I could feel the baby's head, still high up but starting to come into the birth canal. I had two or three horrible contractions on the toilet, where I practiced breathing down the baby. I didn't push, but sort of beared down with breathing like the hynobirthing book talks about. As soon as I could, I jumped up and literally ran and jumped into bed as another contraction came to take me out at the knees. I laid back down and was going insane from the pain. For some reason, (actually, I know exactly the reason - I thought it someone stuck their hand up there to feel for dilation, it would be enough pain to actually kill me. I was doing everything I could to avoid that) I decided to not tell anyone that I could feel the head coming down. As I laid there, I started to get a bit more wild. I could feel my hips spreading apart, my pelvis feeling like it was shattering, my tailbone pushing back. This is around the time that they lost the baby's heartbeat on the monitor and kept trying to flip me back and forth, back and forth to find it. I was so damn annoyed at this because it hurt SO badly to go from side to side. I wasn't worried, I knew why they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and that he was fine. (The other horrible part about going back and forth was that I was leaking so much fluid, it was filling the entire bed. I was literally soaked from my feet to my shoulders, and I told them to stop touching the bed dressings because I was just gushing gallons every time I had a contraction - which was constantly.
It was around this time (which was around 2:15-2:20) when the nurse couldn't find where to get the heart beat, that I had become loud and thrashing enough to draw the attention of two doctors. They came in and I heard the nurse say "I don't know, she's only a two! She was just checked an hour ago." They asked if they could check me, and I told them to stay out. They said they thought they could see my body bearing down, and told me DO NOT push, I wasn't dilated enough to be anywhere near that stage. I told them okay, but I wasn't pushing - my body was bearing down all on it's own. It wasn't even forcefully, I could just feel all the muscles doing exactly what they were supposed to do, and it felt really good for them to do that! I think I was trying to escape the nurse touching my belly to find the heartbeat at this point too. Finally one doctor said "I'm just going to check really quickly, okay?" At this point, the head was far enough down that I knew he would barely need to touch me, so I said okay. The look on his face was priceless! He said "Oh, that's the head!" as he took his hand out. Before he could finish the sentence, the baby's head rushed through the rest of my birth canal, crowned and popped out, then the rest of his body slid right out at 2:31 AM. I never had to intentionally push. The part of the hynobirthing that I thought was impossible - never pushing but letting your body naturally take over - was the part that ended up happening completely. I never pushed, never had to be coached, the baby was guided down with my muscles and my body would bear down only a few times.
Obviously because of this, we once again got no pictures of the baby coming out. From the time the doctor tried to check me to the time the baby's head was out was the span of maybe 10-15 seconds, and the body followed within a very few seconds of the head. The baby was literally placed on me before my mind even had time to realize the baby was completely out. I was 100% expecting a birth like Katie's, where I pushed for 3 hours and her head got stuck crowning for a half hour in a horrible ring of fire. This time, while I was able to start yelling that I was tearing and holy freaking ring of fire, the baby just wooshed right through it, not even slowing down at that part!
It was a good thing the doctors heard me, because the nurse had no idea what was going on and wasn't even looking at the end of the bed or trying to figure out why I kept telling her that I couldn't put one leg down when she repeatedly told me to (I had to keep my leg up to keep my pelvis open, as the baby's head was coming down. I guess it didn't occur to her that this could be happening.) Had they not been there, the baby would have just fallen into the bed.
Once he was in my arms, they had Bill cut the cord and gave him to me to skin to skin. They were trying to ask me questions about the baby, but I was in so much shock that I suddenly had a baby in my arms after 2 hours of active labor that I couldn't answer. It didn't even occur to me to check if he was a boy until a few minutes later when someone asked to make sure. The baby was staring at me and I was staring back saying "oh my gosh, you're here!" Someone said Robin had been alerted a bit ago of my insane thrashing about and that she should come check me, and she was on her way. I guess on the way in someone told her what happened, because she burst in the door saying "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Did I at least make it for the placenta delivery?" Which she did. She came over and checked the baby, muttering apologies, massaged my belly and told me to give one push - the only push I did the entire time. It easily came out all at once. I was still complaining of a lot of pain after, but they checked me and said I had no tearing or rips. The pain I was referring to was my tailbone, which ached but not in the same way it had with Katie. It feels like I bruised it pretty good, but it's not broken or fractured this time. What a great improvement, I didn't think there was any way I was going to get around that!
The delivery itself was quite wonderful, much better than Katie's, but I'd never wish a short labor on anyone again after this. I was in active labor for only 2 hours and it was such a horrible shock and unbearable pain, I'd much rather the labor be like last time with Katie, where it was 7 hours long and the pain gradually built up so I could learn how to deal with it and become accustomed to it, instead of just getting thrown in the deep end and being held down by riptides. Next time if I need to be induced, I won't be using the pill again. While it worked, it just worked too strongly for me. I now realize that my body just needs a little push to get started, and the foly bulb works great for that. It's gentle enough to start my body but let my body take control and do it on it's own. Medical induction, which I never wanted, was unnecessary. I learned quite a bit about my body during this labor, and hopefully it'll help next time.
I knew from Katie's delivery to deny the sleep meds because they make you so groggy. This time I learned that even when the pain is horrible, deny the nubaine too, because it doesn't touch the pain at all and just makes you feel dizzy and drunk.
After birth, I got to cuddle my baby for an hour or so before they started taking stats. Around 3:30 he was taken to get dressed and looked over. They said he was perfectly healthy and looked great. Our rainbow has finally arrived!
The labor though was absolute hell. Much worse than with Katie! I was absolutely not prepared for it, and I prepared A LOT!
We arrived in our room around 5 PM, got all set up, and then midwife Robin told me her induction plan. She was going to put an induction pill at my cervix (which I wasn't for but ended up going with anyway) as she said she never has any luck with a foly bulb and usually it'll just dilate someone to a 3 and then they get stuck. At a 3, the pill is no longer a possibility so you're on pitocin for the entire rest of the time. She said with me being still high and at a 1 with my water in tact (they didn't want the bulb to push the baby's head back up and risk getting the cord come down first when the large amounts of water did break) that the pill would be the best option. She told me that should get me to about a 4 and then they'd put me on a low dose of pitocin and monitor it. She said she hoped that by sometime in the morning, I'd be ready to push.
Once she put the pill in at 7 PM, she told me she'd be leaving until midnight and then would be back to check on me. She said if I was more than a 3-4, she'd come in for the night and hoped to start pushing around 4 AM. If not, she'd wait until I was further along and we'd have baby in the morning.
I was exhausted. I went into the hospital super tired, so I slept as much as I could. The pill gave me contractions that were frequent by 9 PM. They were coming every minute or two, but I was happy that even while watching the contractions spike really high on the machine, I was able to breathe my way through them with minimal issue. I eventually fell into a light sleep until at a little after midnight, I woke up with a horribly sharp pain that felt like a knife went through me. Instantly, I started to gush. Bill was asleep and I couldn't reach the nurse's call button, so I started yelling and throwing things at him as contractions started instantly. He eventually woke up enough to call, and a doctor came in to check me. I was at a 2! I was completely crushed. Here I was thinking if my water had broken, I must be at least half way there. I was so excited, and it really was a harsh blow. She said she would call Robin and update her. Robin decided that it wasn't far enough for her to come in, and that she'd check on me in about 4 hours.
Meanwhile, I started dying. I tried to call my mom again to update her on my water breaking, but I was in so much pain I couldn't. I was gripped with contractions that were the most hellish, horrible feeling pain in the world, and they suddenly came every 30 seconds. There was no gradual build up of pain, it went from 0 - a million suddenly. I couldn't even catch my breath! They often double teamed as well, where as soon as I'd start to feel the relief of one contraction ending, another would come roaring in. They always started at the very tip of my pelvis, where it's been hurting for months, and would spread like wild fire. I don't think anyone knew what to do with me, I was absolutely flipping out at only a 2! The nurse kept asking me, though I told her in the beginning not to, if I wanted drugs. At this point, I had no focus, I was being thrown from one contraction into another with no time in between to gather my thoughts and the intensity of the contractions was so rough that I could barely breathe, let alone do the calming hypno-breathing to calm me down, so I agreed to get nebain in the IV they had set up for pitocin. I could only think that if it was tearing me up this badly at a two, I would never make it to a ten without help. I was so afraid of it taking me so long while using up all of my strength that I'd end up with a c-section. I just kept saying that there was no way I was going to get through this with being at only a 2 and that was the biggest fear of mine. If someone could have only told me that I was in transition, I would have been fine continuing on.
Instead, at this point, I felt like such a pansy! I was losing my mind while barely being dilated. I had no idea at the time, but this was actually transition, and I was not a 2, I was probably about an 8-9. I asked for the IV meds, declined the epi, and begged for them to hurry up already. It did extremely little once they finally got it for me. It made me very dizzy and drunk feeling, and for about five minutes it helped in between contractions. But since there was barely any time at all between contractions and it didn't touch the contractions themselves, it quickly just became something that made me dizzy.
It was around 2 AM that I got up needing to go to the bathroom terribly. I finished a contraction and practically ran to the bathroom, lugging my monitors with me. I got on the toilet and emptied everything, but still felt a lot of pressure. I could feel the baby's head, still high up but starting to come into the birth canal. I had two or three horrible contractions on the toilet, where I practiced breathing down the baby. I didn't push, but sort of beared down with breathing like the hynobirthing book talks about. As soon as I could, I jumped up and literally ran and jumped into bed as another contraction came to take me out at the knees. I laid back down and was going insane from the pain. For some reason, (actually, I know exactly the reason - I thought it someone stuck their hand up there to feel for dilation, it would be enough pain to actually kill me. I was doing everything I could to avoid that) I decided to not tell anyone that I could feel the head coming down. As I laid there, I started to get a bit more wild. I could feel my hips spreading apart, my pelvis feeling like it was shattering, my tailbone pushing back. This is around the time that they lost the baby's heartbeat on the monitor and kept trying to flip me back and forth, back and forth to find it. I was so damn annoyed at this because it hurt SO badly to go from side to side. I wasn't worried, I knew why they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and that he was fine. (The other horrible part about going back and forth was that I was leaking so much fluid, it was filling the entire bed. I was literally soaked from my feet to my shoulders, and I told them to stop touching the bed dressings because I was just gushing gallons every time I had a contraction - which was constantly.
It was around this time (which was around 2:15-2:20) when the nurse couldn't find where to get the heart beat, that I had become loud and thrashing enough to draw the attention of two doctors. They came in and I heard the nurse say "I don't know, she's only a two! She was just checked an hour ago." They asked if they could check me, and I told them to stay out. They said they thought they could see my body bearing down, and told me DO NOT push, I wasn't dilated enough to be anywhere near that stage. I told them okay, but I wasn't pushing - my body was bearing down all on it's own. It wasn't even forcefully, I could just feel all the muscles doing exactly what they were supposed to do, and it felt really good for them to do that! I think I was trying to escape the nurse touching my belly to find the heartbeat at this point too. Finally one doctor said "I'm just going to check really quickly, okay?" At this point, the head was far enough down that I knew he would barely need to touch me, so I said okay. The look on his face was priceless! He said "Oh, that's the head!" as he took his hand out. Before he could finish the sentence, the baby's head rushed through the rest of my birth canal, crowned and popped out, then the rest of his body slid right out at 2:31 AM. I never had to intentionally push. The part of the hynobirthing that I thought was impossible - never pushing but letting your body naturally take over - was the part that ended up happening completely. I never pushed, never had to be coached, the baby was guided down with my muscles and my body would bear down only a few times.
Obviously because of this, we once again got no pictures of the baby coming out. From the time the doctor tried to check me to the time the baby's head was out was the span of maybe 10-15 seconds, and the body followed within a very few seconds of the head. The baby was literally placed on me before my mind even had time to realize the baby was completely out. I was 100% expecting a birth like Katie's, where I pushed for 3 hours and her head got stuck crowning for a half hour in a horrible ring of fire. This time, while I was able to start yelling that I was tearing and holy freaking ring of fire, the baby just wooshed right through it, not even slowing down at that part!
It was a good thing the doctors heard me, because the nurse had no idea what was going on and wasn't even looking at the end of the bed or trying to figure out why I kept telling her that I couldn't put one leg down when she repeatedly told me to (I had to keep my leg up to keep my pelvis open, as the baby's head was coming down. I guess it didn't occur to her that this could be happening.) Had they not been there, the baby would have just fallen into the bed.
Once he was in my arms, they had Bill cut the cord and gave him to me to skin to skin. They were trying to ask me questions about the baby, but I was in so much shock that I suddenly had a baby in my arms after 2 hours of active labor that I couldn't answer. It didn't even occur to me to check if he was a boy until a few minutes later when someone asked to make sure. The baby was staring at me and I was staring back saying "oh my gosh, you're here!" Someone said Robin had been alerted a bit ago of my insane thrashing about and that she should come check me, and she was on her way. I guess on the way in someone told her what happened, because she burst in the door saying "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Did I at least make it for the placenta delivery?" Which she did. She came over and checked the baby, muttering apologies, massaged my belly and told me to give one push - the only push I did the entire time. It easily came out all at once. I was still complaining of a lot of pain after, but they checked me and said I had no tearing or rips. The pain I was referring to was my tailbone, which ached but not in the same way it had with Katie. It feels like I bruised it pretty good, but it's not broken or fractured this time. What a great improvement, I didn't think there was any way I was going to get around that!
The delivery itself was quite wonderful, much better than Katie's, but I'd never wish a short labor on anyone again after this. I was in active labor for only 2 hours and it was such a horrible shock and unbearable pain, I'd much rather the labor be like last time with Katie, where it was 7 hours long and the pain gradually built up so I could learn how to deal with it and become accustomed to it, instead of just getting thrown in the deep end and being held down by riptides. Next time if I need to be induced, I won't be using the pill again. While it worked, it just worked too strongly for me. I now realize that my body just needs a little push to get started, and the foly bulb works great for that. It's gentle enough to start my body but let my body take control and do it on it's own. Medical induction, which I never wanted, was unnecessary. I learned quite a bit about my body during this labor, and hopefully it'll help next time.
I knew from Katie's delivery to deny the sleep meds because they make you so groggy. This time I learned that even when the pain is horrible, deny the nubaine too, because it doesn't touch the pain at all and just makes you feel dizzy and drunk.
After birth, I got to cuddle my baby for an hour or so before they started taking stats. Around 3:30 he was taken to get dressed and looked over. They said he was perfectly healthy and looked great. Our rainbow has finally arrived!
William Lee Keller Jr.
Born on 12.27.13
at 2:31 AM
8 lbs, 1.8oz
20.5 inches long
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Induction Day
I've been so busy, I haven't been able to update. We had a lovely last holiday celebration with baby still on the inside. We treated it like a big celebration for Katie, Christmas being the last day that she's an only child before turning into a Big Sister. She had a blast - she opened all of her gifts in vigor, all the pieces of ripped wrapping paper being thrown over her shoulder as she dug into the gifts. She loved uncovering them! Her seeing her "best friend" Molly sitting in her chair when she came down made her gasp and run over as fast as she could to give Molly a hug. Once she was finished with her gifts, she opened the baby's and even enjoyed those too. She's been playing up a store ever since!
After all the Christmas excitement started to wear down and the party was over, I started to get super jittery and nervous, and I'm still trying to tame them today. I took PM pills last night to ensure that I'd sleep, and today I'm trying to relax but there's suddenly a million last minute things I need to get done before 3. My stomach is in complete knots. I can't wait to meet our baby, but I'm so nervous about so many things. I'm praying hard for a short labor and for a healthy mommy and baby at the end, and if it wouldn't be too much...a quick delivery. (I know, that last one is a long shot!)
I have a million last minute things to do, but my stomach is hurting so much from the nerves that it's hard to get up and get things done. Every time I look at Katie and think of not getting to cuddle her goodnight tonight, I start to get upset. It's like she knows what's about to happen, because for the last few days if I leave the room for even a minute, she starts asking "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy where are you?" I just know that's going to be in my head while I'm gone from her.
I can't wait to have tonight over with. I just want it to be tomorrow already, where our new family of 4 is all in the same house and happy and ready to start our new adventure with our little baby.
After all the Christmas excitement started to wear down and the party was over, I started to get super jittery and nervous, and I'm still trying to tame them today. I took PM pills last night to ensure that I'd sleep, and today I'm trying to relax but there's suddenly a million last minute things I need to get done before 3. My stomach is in complete knots. I can't wait to meet our baby, but I'm so nervous about so many things. I'm praying hard for a short labor and for a healthy mommy and baby at the end, and if it wouldn't be too much...a quick delivery. (I know, that last one is a long shot!)
I have a million last minute things to do, but my stomach is hurting so much from the nerves that it's hard to get up and get things done. Every time I look at Katie and think of not getting to cuddle her goodnight tonight, I start to get upset. It's like she knows what's about to happen, because for the last few days if I leave the room for even a minute, she starts asking "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy where are you?" I just know that's going to be in my head while I'm gone from her.
I can't wait to have tonight over with. I just want it to be tomorrow already, where our new family of 4 is all in the same house and happy and ready to start our new adventure with our little baby.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Overdue: day 11
Here we are, the day before Christmas Eve, and I'm overdue: day 5 billion. Or at least that's sort of what it feels like! It's actually day 11, and oddly enough, I'm calming down about the whole thing. If he doesn't come today, which it seems very unlikely he will, then I'd rather him stay in for Christmas Eve and day. I hate to say that, as this little boy seems to enjoy doing the opposite of what I ask, but Christmas Eve night and Christmas day is what I've been looking forward to for months. If he wants to come Christmas night, I'm okay with that. The day after Christmas? Sure, might as well. But between tomorrow and the next day, I'd very much rather not be out of the house and separated from Katie.
Anyway, today was the second and last NST test. It showed that baby is still just fine in there, happily content but not happy to be woken. It also caught even less contractions than last time. That's right, not a single one! A week ago, I was having real contractions. Very painful, rough contractions. And now? They're all gone! I did have some on Saturday night that were timeable but not close enough together and not strong enough to get excited.
I'm also hoping that this pregnancy did not just give me a new terrible allergy. The other night, Bill made steaks and opened the bottle of wine that we had gotten to have for Christmas Eve (which now won't be happening, as baby is not here still!) Still, I decided that this wine, which is one of my favorites and I've had plenty of times, would pair amazingly with the steak. I had ONE SIP, just one, and ten minutes later my entire face, ears and down my throat was rashy and breaking out. My lips swelled. I never had an allergic reaction to anything like that! Especially to something I've had plenty of times before, the exact same company and the exact same kind. The only thing I can attribute it to is the pregnancy, that's the only thing that's different. If I'm suddenly allergic to red wine, I am going to be so very sad! I've been craving it like crazy this entire pregnancy. Back to the story though, I was luckily told by my midwife just last week that Tylenol PM is a combination of tylenol and benedryl, and since that's the closest thing I have to calming down allergies that I never have any other time, I quickly took two. Within a half hour, most of it was all gone. With Katie's pregnancy, I became quite allergic to wool, to the point where it was hard to breathe if I was around it and it gave me terrible headaches. I still have that allergy today, so I do hope this is unrelated! How terrible for my wine experience to be over when it's barely begun! What shall I drink with my Cracker Barrel cheese??
Today was a better day than some of the last few that I spent mostly crying because I'm just a giant hormonal mess lately. Today I spent 4 hours baking. FOUR HOURS straight of standing up, watching Kitchen Nightmares, rolling out and cutting shapes into sugar dough, then decorating them all with sprinkles and icing afterwards. Some of them came out very pretty, and I even made our family in ginger bread men figures to eat tomorrow on Christmas Eve (being nice, I even included one for baby - even though he refuses to be here for the event!) This is the conclusion to my cookie baking, as I spent a good three hours yesterday baking chocolate chip m&m cookies and chocolate peanut butter cookies in large batches. My midwife said last week that sometimes being on your feet just baking some cookies can help induce labor. Let me tell you, after seven hours of baking, it does NOT put me into labor! In fact, today has been one of the least contraction filled days yet. All it did was make me consume too many sugar goods and killed my feet. Plus the lovely large mess I made in the kitchen that's waiting for Bill to help tackle because the baking was a big enough job for me! At least this way, I contributed to the Christmas meal that's being put together by my inlaws. All I had before the cookies were a few packs of store bought rolls!
Well, it's a half hour until I start entering my 12th day overdue and one of the most anticipated days of my year. Stay put, little boy - I have big plans the next two days! (Why did this child just kick me like crazy while typing that? Fingers crossed he won't be terribly naughty for me!)
Anyway, today was the second and last NST test. It showed that baby is still just fine in there, happily content but not happy to be woken. It also caught even less contractions than last time. That's right, not a single one! A week ago, I was having real contractions. Very painful, rough contractions. And now? They're all gone! I did have some on Saturday night that were timeable but not close enough together and not strong enough to get excited.
I'm also hoping that this pregnancy did not just give me a new terrible allergy. The other night, Bill made steaks and opened the bottle of wine that we had gotten to have for Christmas Eve (which now won't be happening, as baby is not here still!) Still, I decided that this wine, which is one of my favorites and I've had plenty of times, would pair amazingly with the steak. I had ONE SIP, just one, and ten minutes later my entire face, ears and down my throat was rashy and breaking out. My lips swelled. I never had an allergic reaction to anything like that! Especially to something I've had plenty of times before, the exact same company and the exact same kind. The only thing I can attribute it to is the pregnancy, that's the only thing that's different. If I'm suddenly allergic to red wine, I am going to be so very sad! I've been craving it like crazy this entire pregnancy. Back to the story though, I was luckily told by my midwife just last week that Tylenol PM is a combination of tylenol and benedryl, and since that's the closest thing I have to calming down allergies that I never have any other time, I quickly took two. Within a half hour, most of it was all gone. With Katie's pregnancy, I became quite allergic to wool, to the point where it was hard to breathe if I was around it and it gave me terrible headaches. I still have that allergy today, so I do hope this is unrelated! How terrible for my wine experience to be over when it's barely begun! What shall I drink with my Cracker Barrel cheese??
Today was a better day than some of the last few that I spent mostly crying because I'm just a giant hormonal mess lately. Today I spent 4 hours baking. FOUR HOURS straight of standing up, watching Kitchen Nightmares, rolling out and cutting shapes into sugar dough, then decorating them all with sprinkles and icing afterwards. Some of them came out very pretty, and I even made our family in ginger bread men figures to eat tomorrow on Christmas Eve (being nice, I even included one for baby - even though he refuses to be here for the event!) This is the conclusion to my cookie baking, as I spent a good three hours yesterday baking chocolate chip m&m cookies and chocolate peanut butter cookies in large batches. My midwife said last week that sometimes being on your feet just baking some cookies can help induce labor. Let me tell you, after seven hours of baking, it does NOT put me into labor! In fact, today has been one of the least contraction filled days yet. All it did was make me consume too many sugar goods and killed my feet. Plus the lovely large mess I made in the kitchen that's waiting for Bill to help tackle because the baking was a big enough job for me! At least this way, I contributed to the Christmas meal that's being put together by my inlaws. All I had before the cookies were a few packs of store bought rolls!
Well, it's a half hour until I start entering my 12th day overdue and one of the most anticipated days of my year. Stay put, little boy - I have big plans the next two days! (Why did this child just kick me like crazy while typing that? Fingers crossed he won't be terribly naughty for me!)
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Overdue: Day 10
Ten days overdue. I never thought I'd see this day! It never was even a thought it my mind that I'd go this far. I was so sure that he'd be here long ago.
I woke up this morning feeling that today would be the perfect day to have a baby. It just feels so right for some reason that he should come today. But, I've felt that way before and the day passed with barely a contraction.
As it is, I do have contractions daily, and last night they were even timeable. But, they weren't anywhere near what I needed them to be. I was estimating them to last somewhere between 30-45 seconds and every ten minutes for about two hours. And like always, once I went to bed and fell asleep, the contractions stalled. This morning it seemed like I lost a large part of my plug, but I can't really be sure if it's my plug. It looks like it, but I don't want to get excited, especially when at this point, it doesn't matter much. A plug can be lost weeks before active labor begins, and I only have four days. Still, it would be nice to see something happening.
I've been up and down every induction list. I've tried everything, the only thing I haven't done is caster oil, because of the risks that go along with it.
For future reference, my list so far includes (but probably exceeds):
Going for many long stride walks every day
Going up and down stairs, both forwards and sideways
Doing squats
Doing lunges
Taking warm baths
Relaxing all abdominal muscles
visualization
Fresh pineapple
Nesting like crazy
Sex
Taking EPO
Drinking red raspberry leaf tea
Accupressure
Spicy Food
Muscle massages (I admit, this one is my favorite!)
Taking Tylenol PM to ensure a good night's rest
Nothing seems to inspire this child though. I really hope he doesn't hold out for Christmas Eve or Day, as those are the only days I don't want to have him. I really don't want to be separated from Katie on those days, and I've been looking forward to them for so long. We also have family coming over, so going into labor during that time would be less than ideal! So please baby, come today. I guess tomorrow would be acceptable too. But if you refuse those days, then get yourself cozy for a womb holiday, or at least until Christmas night!
I woke up this morning feeling that today would be the perfect day to have a baby. It just feels so right for some reason that he should come today. But, I've felt that way before and the day passed with barely a contraction.
As it is, I do have contractions daily, and last night they were even timeable. But, they weren't anywhere near what I needed them to be. I was estimating them to last somewhere between 30-45 seconds and every ten minutes for about two hours. And like always, once I went to bed and fell asleep, the contractions stalled. This morning it seemed like I lost a large part of my plug, but I can't really be sure if it's my plug. It looks like it, but I don't want to get excited, especially when at this point, it doesn't matter much. A plug can be lost weeks before active labor begins, and I only have four days. Still, it would be nice to see something happening.
I've been up and down every induction list. I've tried everything, the only thing I haven't done is caster oil, because of the risks that go along with it.
For future reference, my list so far includes (but probably exceeds):
Going for many long stride walks every day
Going up and down stairs, both forwards and sideways
Doing squats
Doing lunges
Taking warm baths
Relaxing all abdominal muscles
visualization
Fresh pineapple
Nesting like crazy
Sex
Taking EPO
Drinking red raspberry leaf tea
Accupressure
Spicy Food
Muscle massages (I admit, this one is my favorite!)
Taking Tylenol PM to ensure a good night's rest
Nothing seems to inspire this child though. I really hope he doesn't hold out for Christmas Eve or Day, as those are the only days I don't want to have him. I really don't want to be separated from Katie on those days, and I've been looking forward to them for so long. We also have family coming over, so going into labor during that time would be less than ideal! So please baby, come today. I guess tomorrow would be acceptable too. But if you refuse those days, then get yourself cozy for a womb holiday, or at least until Christmas night!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Dear Baby (Overdue, day 9)
My dear little Will,
I realize now that I was wrong. I thought I was expecting a little spitfire Sagittarius. I was belting down and, admittedly, a little nervous preparing for my wild, hotheaded sign as I'm used to dealing with water, the polar opposite, and air. Obviously, I shouldn't have imposed that upon you. I understand now that you are actually a stubborn little Capricorn. I see that you're a patient, practical child who is in absolutely no rush. While I was preparing for how I was going to deal with my sweet little Water sign toddler to blend well with a little fireball, I should have known that you'd be grounded and earthy.
Well, you made your point. You're a Capricorn and I misjudged you. But take a look at the calendar, my child! It's Capricorn season, and that means you can make your way out at any time now! There's no point in continuing to hold onto my uteran walls and pretend like you don't know which way is out. We've safely arrived into your birth sign. Please take note of the big glaring exit signs and make your way towards them immediately (look south, if you need a clue! And please stop pushing on my belly button like it's a door knob - it's not!)
I so want you to not miss this amazing Christmas season. Once you're on the outside, I promise you'll understand! Mommy will make this season the most magical, amazing time of year every year and you will love it. Don't miss out on your first one and have to wait a whole year to experience it! I have your stocking all hung up and filled with little goodies that you'll appreciate one day. I have the most adorable Christmas outfits for you to wear and Mommy really does not want to have to pack them up and possibly never have a chance to use these Christmas newborn outfits.
Please do me a favor, my little one. I have given you the best of care for 10 months. I have loved you and fought for you the whole way through. I've given in to all of the cravings, gained 50 lbs, added more permanent scars, spent many weeks violently throwing up, got stabbed with stinging needles and drank horrible drinks all for you. In return, could I please have my little healthy, adorable little boy here for my favorite holiday? It would be the very best present of all! I promise, you'll be just as happy out here as you are in there, and you'll be showered with love and devotion all around. You may be in the perfect environment now, but truly, you'll love the life that's awaiting for you out here.
Please consider my plea! I am so eagerly looking forward to meeting you face to face.
With all the love in my every heartbeat that you hear,
Mommy
I realize now that I was wrong. I thought I was expecting a little spitfire Sagittarius. I was belting down and, admittedly, a little nervous preparing for my wild, hotheaded sign as I'm used to dealing with water, the polar opposite, and air. Obviously, I shouldn't have imposed that upon you. I understand now that you are actually a stubborn little Capricorn. I see that you're a patient, practical child who is in absolutely no rush. While I was preparing for how I was going to deal with my sweet little Water sign toddler to blend well with a little fireball, I should have known that you'd be grounded and earthy.
Well, you made your point. You're a Capricorn and I misjudged you. But take a look at the calendar, my child! It's Capricorn season, and that means you can make your way out at any time now! There's no point in continuing to hold onto my uteran walls and pretend like you don't know which way is out. We've safely arrived into your birth sign. Please take note of the big glaring exit signs and make your way towards them immediately (look south, if you need a clue! And please stop pushing on my belly button like it's a door knob - it's not!)
I so want you to not miss this amazing Christmas season. Once you're on the outside, I promise you'll understand! Mommy will make this season the most magical, amazing time of year every year and you will love it. Don't miss out on your first one and have to wait a whole year to experience it! I have your stocking all hung up and filled with little goodies that you'll appreciate one day. I have the most adorable Christmas outfits for you to wear and Mommy really does not want to have to pack them up and possibly never have a chance to use these Christmas newborn outfits.
Please do me a favor, my little one. I have given you the best of care for 10 months. I have loved you and fought for you the whole way through. I've given in to all of the cravings, gained 50 lbs, added more permanent scars, spent many weeks violently throwing up, got stabbed with stinging needles and drank horrible drinks all for you. In return, could I please have my little healthy, adorable little boy here for my favorite holiday? It would be the very best present of all! I promise, you'll be just as happy out here as you are in there, and you'll be showered with love and devotion all around. You may be in the perfect environment now, but truly, you'll love the life that's awaiting for you out here.
Please consider my plea! I am so eagerly looking forward to meeting you face to face.
With all the love in my every heartbeat that you hear,
Mommy
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