The last yard sale

I am so incredibly sore today! Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 AM to go to yard sales and a baby expo - pretty much the same routine I had for two months in the spring. Well shockingly, there's a huge difference between first trimester and third. While I thought I was doing well, later on showed otherwise. Since last night, my legs feel like they can't support my weight anymore. The muscles feel torn. My belly aches. My lower back and hips feel like they're going to break if I bend or put weight on them. Today is every bit as bad!

I also was extremely tired. I took an hour nap yesterday after coming home, which made me more tired and more sore. Last night, we all went to bed together but Bill ended up having to put Katie to sleep because she was still plenty energetic and as soon as I laid down, I fell asleep - a very deep sleep, because usually Katie wakes me up and she didn't at all. Running around all day long with only 2 hours of sleep is definitely next to impossible now.
 Today is mostly about moving the least as possible - probably not going to happen as Bill is working overitme today and I need to catch up on housework again now that Katie is feeling better.

Anyway, yesterday was made worth it by a single yard sale. Someone who had a few boys and were finished with having kids was giving away quite a few baby items. One of these, which I happily took home, was a big tote of clothes. There were more clothes tightly folded into this box than I could have imagined, and I'm so grateful that I found it and then didn't walk away from it like I originally thought to do. Now that I went through it, I feel bad for having her go down because wow - she has everything in that box that I could need for a winter or spring baby for the first 2-3 months! And it's all gender neutral, so if we do go with my plan to try to not find out the gender next time, I can wash all of this stuff up and be totally set for baby (since all my other baby clothing is very boy or very girl, nothing much inbetween). And to top it off, I also got another bouncer, this one to use in the bathroom so I can take showers and give Katie baths. With Katie, I used a swing that I was given that didn't work all that well to begin with. I'm gonna bet that now that Katie is sitting her 26 lb butt in it and using it for her play babies, that it's not going to be in best working shape anymore, so this bouncer will fill in nicely. It's smaller than the swing as well, so that'll be nice.

Here's some pictures that I quickly took. This was before my nap and I was totally crashing so I didn't take my time setting up all the adorable hats - so many things match, right down the socks and hats! It's adorable. In this pile is at least 20 onesies, 20-30 sleepers, about 5 long and short sleeve swaddle shirts, a pair of new shoes, about 10 pairs of socks, 5 pairs of scratch mittens, 8 hats, a few sweaters, two heavy sleep sacks, 10 sleep gowns, a few bibs, etc. It's just so much stuff!

Test Results

Today started off rough.

All last night I had horrible dreams about miscarrying babies. I managed to wake myself up from them a few times, even went to the bathroom to try and shake it, but I kept falling back to sleep into the same dream. What are the odds of doing that over and over? Why did it have to be for that dream? By morning, I was exhausted. I had dreamt that I lost four babies in a row and had to keep finding names for all my angels and finding little wooden boxes to bury them in. It was terrible, and it clung to me.

It got harder when I was awake. We got up early at 8 AM and headed to the hospital to get my blood work and rhogam shot. When we parked, I started to get really upset and teary eyed. I didn't even know why, it was just so sudden that this really upset feeling hit me. I finally realized why my heart was hurting even before my brain could analyze it. We were parked in the exact parking spot on the street as when we had come last time. Last time was just minutes after we found out that we were losing Elizabeth. They had sent us over to the hospital immediately for the exact same thing I was getting today - blood work and rhogam. The memories of that spot were just so clear. That day I couldn't get out of the car, I couldn't stop crying. My phone kept going off but I couldn't even think about talking to anyone. Bill was telling his mom, who had called to ask about the baby, what had happened. We had gotten food because I was so sick, but I couldn't stomach eating any of it. It was the beginning of the hardest time in our lives. And today, even though we're in such a better place, it all rushed back into me and I could feel exactly how I felt that day. Sitting in the car for that moment, it just felt like I was right there again. When I told Bill, he said he didn't remember that, he thought we had gone to the hospital weeks later, but I can remember that day exactly. I can remember every minute of it. I know what I was doing, what he was doing, every emotion of every minute is just burned into my mind. Especially after last night's dreams, it was a really rough thing to go through today.

My day got better from there though, thankfully. Once we were in the waiting room, Katie found a friend to play with for a half hour and Bill ran out and got me breakfast to bring back since we know well that me getting blood drawn on an empty stomach is disastrous. Once I was called back about an hour later, I told the nurse about using butterfly needles on me, especially because my veins are still swollen and bruised from the glucose test - and she actually listened to me! 9 times out of 10 when I tell a nurse to use the butterfly needles, they don't listen and they proceed to blow out my veins, bruise up my arms, and be unsuccessful until finally they say "I should use a butterfly needle." Yeah...I know. But this nurse thankfully listened and had no problems. She got into one of my bruised veins without any trouble at all, took the four viles of blood and sent me to get the rhogam shot - which was actually the best rhogam shot I've gotten so far! For the very first time, it didn't sting like crazy going in (it's a big, thick needle!) and it didn't burn like acid afterwards. Usually I leave limping and I was fine this time. Maybe I'm just fatter now than usual! lol. Either way, much better than what I was expecting.

When we got home, I took a nap because any blood draw tends to tire me out. Once Bill left, I woke up and got out the stroller since it's such a nice day and Katie was asking to go on a walk. We went to the dollar store for some shopping (I didn't buy any baby stuff! Okay...I bought one outfit....but it was on sale!) and by the time we were heading home, Katie was fast asleep. She slept in her stroller for a while, then came to cuddle with me. Over two hours later, she's still asleep!

I just got a call from the Birthing Center that really helped to brighten my day. I passed the glucose test! With Katie, I passed it by only one point and they made me do the three hour. This time, I passed by 13 points! In addition, even though for the two weeks I was sick I didn't take my prenatals, ate no red meat, ate nothing with much iron at all like spinach and did no cooking from my cast iron, I managed to have good iron levels! With Katie, they were concerned because I was borderline and had me take supplements. This time I don't need to because my levels are higher - and that was with being very sick and not eating very well or taking my vitamins! She said everything they tested me for I passed with good numbers, so I'm thrilled, as a low iron count will earn me a hospital birth, as will failing the glucose test. Now I just need to get a good result on my GBS test and get Katie's new pediatrician to sign my baby papers and I'll be all ready to go! Of course this happened last time and I still didn't end up with a birth center birth, but at least I have another chance and I know more this time.

 Hopefully my day continues to improve and we have a nice, relaxing weekend. I could use it after dealing with sickness for over three weeks and then being so stressed this week over these tests and trying to get everything done!

Third Tri Grump

Alright, I officially hit third tri now. Not in the measured weeks, but in the frustration I'm getting that feels very familiar. I'm now in that part of pregnancy where I go from loving everything about my body and how amazing it is to hating all of that bad things happening to it - and there's quite a few!

Tonight I tried to bend over to put on socks. Woah, not happening anymore. I tried to bend over to give Katie a bath and the baby refused to let me - he actually burrowed himself where I bend at and wouldn't stop kicking and punching. It was SO difficult.

Baby is definitely feeling transverse - which means when he tries to stretch, I can feel at least one side of my skin tearing from his head or his butt. It hurts like hell. It feels raw. And this kid really likes to stretch. I'm pretty positive, though I can't see it, that he's either giving me new stretch marks or reopening the old ones. Thanks, kid.

I'm also pretty sure (but again, can't see well enough to tell) that I have a varicose vein in the exact place that I had it last time. It wasn't there before, so it must have just happened in the last week when baby has been changing his position. Ah, joy - it's just not pregnancy without painful varicose veins! I've even made sure to keep my feet up often and not overdo it, but that didn't work.

I also tried to wear prepregnancy underwear today. Yeah, that didn't go well! It bit into my skin and made me sore. They're WAY too small now. Nothing like not fitting into your underwear to remind you of those 25 lbs gained already.

I should be in bed, as tomorrow we have to wake up early so I can get that painful shot in my butt and a bunch of viles of blood taken from me (which should be interesting, as both arms are currently still all bruised up from when they did blood work for just the glucose test.) Yeah, definitely having a grumpy night!

Preparing bags and birth plans

I just dug through my blog with Katie to find my hospital bag list. Since I didn't lack anything last time, I think it's a pretty good list. Doing the run down, it seems like I'm 90% finished. What's crossed off is what I already have in my bag.

My Bag:

Birthing Gowns - this is the one thing I don't have in my bag yet. Mainly because I don't want to make the journey into the attic to dig through my old maternity clothes that I"m not using! But I already have it bagged up neatly, so they just have to get into my hospital bag yet.
shampoo/soap 
hand sanitizer
bikini top
pj bottoms (for going home in) (since this time it's winter, I'm not sure what I'm using yet)
granola bars for snacks
fruit juice boxes
chap stick
lavendar oil
2 pairs of socks  (actually, I only have one because that's all I think I'll need. They're Christmasy too!)
wet wipes
travel hairbrush
hair bands
Pads
Diapers
baby wipes
disposable underwear (I found the exact kind I want, just need to order them when I get my next amount of money in)
Bill change of clothing
Birth Plan (I'm waiting on ink so I can print this out)
peri bottles 
scratch mittens
tooth brush/paste (thought I had this already, but nope!)

Things I have to add later:
insurance/ID/bank card (Bill always has all of his in his wallet, so at least there's that, but I can't add mine to the bag until later)
phone charge cord (No spares, so that'll be a last minute thing)
glasses (another I need to add last minute.)


Baby and Daddy's Bag:Swim trunks
3 receiving blankets
2 baby outfits (one newborn, one 0-3 months)
hand wipes
$7 in quarters (actually, it's currently $5.25. Which I know isn't much, but it's every quarter I have in the house, and he always has small cash on him anyway.)

Just need to buy a birthing ball as well yet!


And since it was in the same blog post, I grabbed my birth plan and started to fix it up. It's pretty much all the same, but I wanted to tweak it a bit now that I know more this time.

                       Birth Plan 

Mother: Jill Keller	Partner: William Keller (Husband)
Date written: 9/26/2013	Due Date: 12/12/13
	Place of Birth: Birth Center

This birth plan is intended to express the preference and desires we have for the birth of our baby. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot be followed. However, we hope that barring any extenuating circumstances, you will be able to keep us informed and aware of our options. Thank you.

　

First Stage (Labor):

I would like to labor at home for as long as possible
Everyone present to speak in positive tones
Husband to be present at all times
Would prefer not to have students, residents etc.
Would prefer to keep vaginal exams to a minimum.
Eat and drink as desired.
Relaxation techniques (breathing, focusing, distraction, visual imagry, etc.).
Positioning as desired. (side lying, squatting, pool)
Water (Shower and bath/pool).
Massage (especially counter pressure on back)
Tools I'd like to use for labor: birthing ball, birthing pool, squatting bar if availableSecond Stage (Birth): 
Choice of position (side lying, in tub, squatting, hands and knees)
My delivery is planned as a vaginal and hopeful water birth.
Pushing without coaching unless requested/pushing instinctively
I'd like the option of laboring/delivering in birthing pool
Spontaneous Bearing Down
Prefer to use people for leg support if able
I would prefer no episiotomy, but can use compresses, massage and positioning.
If birthed in water, I'd like my husband or I to catch/lift baby out.Baby Care: 
Prefer partner to cut the cord.
I would like all newborn routine procedures to be performed in my presence.
Hold baby right away, skin to skin
No eye medication
No Hep B vax at birth
Breast feeding only and as soon as possible after birth
No pacifiers, formula, artificial nipples or glucose water
No separation of Mother & Baby ** Please note that I may be RH-incompatible with my baby and need baby to be tested.Cesarean Birth: 
Partner present at all times
Pictures taken if possible
Free one hand to touch the baby
Partner to cut the cord
Breastfeeding in recovery room
I would like to sign any waivers necessary to permit me to be with my baby in recovery.
Please discuss my post-operative pain medication options with me before or immediately following the procedure.

Week 29

One last week to go until I'm in my 30's! (Pregnancy wise, not age wise!) I swear it feels like I just turned 20 weeks like a week or two, where has this time gone? I think so far this has been my easiest pregnancy (I can say that now, before any of my test results come in and before the worst part of pregnancy begins), so I guess that combined with running after a toddler all day makes it go super quickly.

I woke up this morning and immediately did yoga as my body was killing me (yet another night sleeping straight up, but Katie did much better this time!) Wow, I always thought yoga was gentle stretching - not so! Today's yoga was full of deep squatting, large amounts of twisting, and then doing certain continous movement until it starts to kill you, at which point you try to work through because you're supposed to imagine that they're contractions. It's mental preparation and strength...but I didn't do so well under it! I continued to do it, but I was making a lot of groaning noises and hated every part of it. However, I now feel really good. Everything but my neck feels like it's been loosened up. I can't wait to do this after my chiropractor visit.

I'm starting to get panicked about everything now. Not about pregnancy, but about anything on the news, anything stressful, etc. Now it just seizes me up and takes my breath away. I feel more hormonal, so that's probably what's adding to it, but trying to shield myself from any stressful topic is difficult. Even the smaller things make me go nuts.

My weight is constantly fluctuating still. It's been like that for a month now. Most of pregnancy, I was steady. I was always either at the same weight, or I'd go up a lb and stay there until I went up again. There was no constant up and down. I'm not even sure what my true weight is because it's always changing now. Before I was fluctuating between 134-137. Now I'm fluctuating between 137-140. I hate when I see 140, it feels like I'm really getting heavy now, that's 26 lbs above my starting weight and I'm only 29 weeks! I know they say I should gain a lb a week, and I've been following that pretty much perfectly, but I don't think they meant for the entire pregnancy and at 26 lbs, that's pretty close to what's going on. If I knew I could keep up with that, I'd be fine. That would mean I'd only gain 11 more lbs, which would be 37 in total. I'm fine with gaining 37 lbs! The problem is the second half of third tri, where I stop gaining only one lb a week and gain several from combination of increased appetite and less energy and exercise because I'm so big at that point. Staying below or at 50 by the end of the pregnancy is my goal.

Also, I'm FINALLY not an eggplant on my ticker anymore! I've been an eggplant for at least four weeks, I didn't think I'd ever get a new one. Now I'm a squash...even though it looks more like a pumpkin! Which reminds me that I can't wait to do pumpkins this year! I think Katie will have a lot of fun with it this year, and we get to do a baby one too!

28w, 6d

Stayed up last night reading through my very detailed birth story from Katie. At the end, I thought "why was that a good idea?" This thought was repeated when I kept reading through the postpartum posts, one of which ended in "I can't imagine ever wanting to do this again." This did, however, get me into finally reading my HypnoBirthing book, which I've had for a week but haven't cracked until this morning.

My back is killing me today. Probably because I haven't done yoga since Katie has been sick, but wow, it really hurts! Everything from my neck down to my tailbone is aching terribly. It hurts just to stand up, but sitting isn't much better. I hope Katie gets better soon, I was so looking forward to going to the chiropractor's this week and now need to hold off. I just feel so tight and scrunched up!
It definitely doesn't help that I've been sleeping sitting up for two weeks, first so I could breathe through a cold and now because I have to help Katie. This sickness couldn't have come at a worse time - she did so perfectly with her bed, and now she needs to sleep with me. By the time the sickness is done, the bed will have lost it's newness and won't be as fun anymore to sleep in every night. I hope I can convince her to make the transition as easily again!

Some of Will's outfits arrived today. They're so snuggly and soft that they make me crave having a baby in them.

And this is why I shop at Zulily instead of normal stores!

 I think I paid $8 each with free shipping for these, and at Disney Baby, they're $28 a piece! 

Also, HOLY CRAP! Tomorrow I'm 29 weeks! I did NOT realize that until trying to figure it out for the title, and then I had to go double check with my ticker. I'm not ready for 29 weeks! That's a scary week! That means that I'm almost 30 weeks. No, I'm not finished with my check list that I wrote last week. No, I didn't actually start on it. I've been sick! This is exactly why I have my 30 week rule - I would hate for this to happen later in pregnancy. What if nothing was finished and we all got sick? But it's still stressing that I'm already up against my deadline. Hopefully I'll be able to hit the whole list this weekend when Katie is better and Bill is home. 

I'm trying to get all of my baby clothes washed in the meanwhile. It helps when I know that I missed the last big flea market filled with baby stuff and now this weekend I'll be missing the Baby Expo because Katie is  going to still be sick. But, now I have a bouncer, which was 75% of the reason why I wanted to go to them. Trying to squeeze all of baby's clothing into the drawers makes me realize that I don't need to go out of my way to shop anymore. I don't really need anything at this point. But I'm still a bit heartbroken that I'll be missing it. 

Glucose Test

Today's midwife appointment did not go too well!

I'm starting to get really annoyed that every single time I go there, we are waiting at least between a half hour to an hour just to be seen. Last appointment it was an hour and a half! With a bored, cranky toddler! (because after all, it's early morning and she woke up early and does not want to be in the same strange room forever.)

Today we were the only ones in the waiting room. I was relieved, it seemed like we'd get right in for once. Nope, we were waiting 45 minutes before we checked for the second time about the hold up (NO one else was there! I watched the nurses walking around. I just needed a two minute blood draw so I could go have breakfast, because after that long wait, I was now up to 13 hours without eating and I was definitely getting sick from it. Finally, someone said "oh, you're here for the glucose test? We'll get your blood drawn right away." By the time I was sent back for the quick blood draw, we no longer had time to do the test I wanted, so now I needed the sugar drink. My body reacts so badly to the sugar drink! But it was either that or try again in two days, and I knew that I'd just be waiting an hour again to be seen, so I took the sugar drink.

I survived better than I thought I would while the test was going on. Just mildly dizzy, hungry, a bit sick, but I wasn't passing out or puking. The receptionist gave Katie a fruit juice box and some pretzels, which kept her busy. A midwife checked out baby, told me he is head's down but he's currently in there crooked (which makes sense - the intense pressure has let up the last few days, and while I knew he was still head's down, his movements didn't quite make sense. Now I know he's in there at an angle.)

An hour after drinking the sugar drink, I got the blood work done. The first arm didn't work and only gave about a third of a vile. They had to start all over again on the other arm and took a few viles. By the time they were done, I was really dizzy and my belly was angry. I drank some juice before leaving and felt good that I was only mildly sick. As we started driving though, it got worse and worse. We stopped for food and while I managed to eat about half of my fries, I kept getting worse. My arms got too heavy to keep moving, so I stopped eating and just slumped in my seat and tried to nap. My whole body felt like it couldn't move and had no energy. Bill said I was extremely pale and looked like a dying patient, and I felt like it. My body doesn't work with 14 hours of no food on top of blood draws and a glucose test!

When we got home, I laid down and tried to nap. Katie, who had been napping, woke up about five minutes after I laid down, so now I'm extremely tired and trying not to crash. I still feel terrible, very unenergetic and have a headache. I changed into pajamas already, I think today will be a slow day full of laying down and taking it easy.

At least we got to hear baby's heartbeat, which like usual is in the 140's, and figure out his position. As long as we keep getting good reports about him being healthy, everything else doesn't matter. I now have all of my appointments for the rest of pregnancy, the last one being on Christmas Eve. Hoping we'll have a baby by then though!