This nesting stuff is going to be the death of me.
It hit me hard about three days ago. Ever since, I've been scrubbing everything, attacking the nursery, vacuuming, and cleaning places that I can't remember having cleaned in...well, a while. But I'm still me, the tired, worn out preggo who, after ten minutes of cleaning, needs a nap. So obviously these two sides of me are clashing and driving me nuts. Every time I go to sit down for five minutes to rest, my body gets jittery. I start thinking about all the stuff I could be doing. And before you know it, I'm on my feet again - which, btw, are beginning to cry because they aren't used to this either. They especially aren't used to me being on them all day and night with an extra 20 pounds added on.
But it even affects me at bedtime. Katie has been doing great lately, she's been going to bed over 4 hours early for the last few nights. Sounds like paradise, doesn't it? Extra sleep for the nesting pregnant woman. But NOPE! Every night I text Bill goodnight because I'll be long asleep by the time he gets home. And then he gets home and finds me downstairs, wide awake and either on the computer or cleaning because guess what? I can't sleep! I have no naps during the day, I'm cleaning and active all day, and then I can't sleep at night. What is that about? It's not like I'm energetic - I'm dragging and tired all day. But it's like my body belongs to someone else, someone who's a cleaning freak and keeps making me stand up and move and keep going.
My house sure is looking nicer lately, but come on, slow down! Baby isn't going to be here for at least 15 weeks yet (I'm assuming - actually, I feel 99.9% positive that I'll be at least three to five days late) there's NO reason why everything must look spotless now. Doing it now means it won't be clean later! lol
With that said though, I managed to move about half of the stuff from the nursery and put it at the bottom of the attic stairs. I've been going through everything in the room and sorting what needs to go in the attic storage and what needs to fit in the nursery. I've been trying to figure out, among my multiple giant teddy bears and 5 foot Mickeys, where to put the swing this time, and where to store the car seat and other large items that are currently waiting for homes. I also need to redo the entire dresser because somehow, even though I still don't feel prepared enough in clothing, my drawers are too filled to fit more in. Two bottom drawers are just bedding and blankets though, so it's only two clothing drawers and that includes everything up until 6 months. But it's definitely time to re-evaluate what I have. I'm getting 5 more sleepers in the mail next week to add to it as well, all 0-3 and 3-6. If I'm super lucky, I just need to grab one or two more packs of the long sleeve newborn swaddle shirts and I'll be all ready with clothing for this baby for the first 6 months at least.
Thinking today I'll grab an easy dinner like frozen pizza to go with, because cooking on top of cleaning is just madness!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 29, 2013
25 Weeks Part 2
There are few things that are more exciting to come home to than multiple packages on your porch. Especially when one is three feet tall! Disney seems to have rushed my order, I swear I only ordered it like 2 or 3 days ago and it usually takes them two weeks!
I also got my zulily order too, so aside from a bunch of Katie Christmas gifts, I also got Will's gifts and a few more outfits for him:
The "P" bag is a small bag of pads
I also got my zulily order too, so aside from a bunch of Katie Christmas gifts, I also got Will's gifts and a few more outfits for him:
Motorcycle Mickey Shirt:
"Lord of the Rings" long sleeve onesie with baby leg warmers - they're mostly blue stripes with a rainbow stripe at the bottom.
And matching shirts for the siblings!
On the way back from Katie's doctor's visit, we had to make an emergency yarn stop at Walmart for an order that was paid for but isn't complete. While there, I also quick grabbed some newborn diapers and a to go bag of wipes for my hospital bag. Yep, I'm packing!
Here's my hospital bag again:
And this is everything I have so far:
Pictured above is:
The "P" bag is a small bag of pads
to go box of baby wipes
Peri Bottles (I have more of them, but
I need to find them. I think I only used 2 last time though)
Sleeper outfit and hat in size 0-3 in case baby is bigger
Newborn Outfit (newborn swaddle shirt, pants with feet, matching hat, mittens)
Moldable ice pack
Inflatable donut (for driving home with the broken tailbone
...and for a few weeks after)
Newborn Diapers
Of course I still have a lot to pack, but that's a pretty good start! I have the birthing gowns, if I need them, already packaged up. I just need to find them in my piles of maternity clothes. I found a bikini top that should fit me, which I'm packing for the water birth, just need to add it. So this is something that can quickly come together, there's not much I need to buy.
I did find these though, that after reading reviews (and talking to a few people who used them) I decided to get some for the first week during the night. It should help a lot, as I had a lot of leakage problems for a few days last time. This is supposed to have no leaks at all even for the heaviest days and post partem. Definitely worth a try:
I saw today that Walmart's crib mattresses are on sale right now, so I'm going to try and pick one up soon. Katie needs one for her toddler bed that I'll hopefully be getting soon, and it's currently half off the price (and those things are so expensive!) Hopefully I'll be able to afford to buy her an adorable Minnie Mouse bedding set as well to put on it right away.
I actually took pregnancy pictures already today (yeah, before 9 PM - I'm getting better!) but I haven't edited them with all the words yet, so I'll be posting that a bit later.
25 Weeks
25 weeks today!
There are few things better than waking up and reading that baby is now capable of breathing with their lungs, has a good survival rate, and that pretty much everything is all developed and just has to get bigger, fatter and work on nerve development. Everything is now functioning to practice for the outside world.
What's also crazy - I have 105 days to go. Which means that during this week, I'll fall into the double digit days. What?? Already??
I thought it was fast when I only had 200 day to go. Now I'm going to be dipping under 100. This baby, he's rushing through this pregnancy, I swear!
This weekend I'm picking up hospital bag supplies. Yep, that panicky feeling that not enough is done is totally overdue and in hyperdrive. Time to grab our first pack of diapers, pack what baby, daddy and I will all need, and maybe even grab some of Katie's supplies for her bag (I'm thinking of everything - so she needs a few pairs of clothing and pajamas, her favorite juice cup, a new juice cup in case she gets cranky - this kid loves new juice cups - and a few other things to go in there for her stay. I'm hoping to only be gone for half a day, but if something changes and I have to be gone for a few days, I want her already as prepared as possible.)
I finally got my tired butt into gear, which means the downstairs is finally clean. All my dishes done at once, the counters and stove scrubbed, the floors vacuumed, the living room organized, the dining room finished of it's make over, the bathroom nice and shiny, etc. Now I can start paying attention to the nursery again. It needs to stop being a storage room and have everything sorted and in place. It's time for it to start looking like a baby's room again!
Of course, looking back at Katie's blog, by 25 weeks I was totally prepared. Nursery was spotless and everything was bought, the hospital bags were mostly ready, the birth plan was written - I was so prepared! This time I'm taking it a bit slower, but not by too much. If it's not all completed by 30 weeks, I know I won't be able to sleep anymore and I'll be working through the night to get things done.
Picture coming later, we're getting ready to take Katie to her new doctor!
There are few things better than waking up and reading that baby is now capable of breathing with their lungs, has a good survival rate, and that pretty much everything is all developed and just has to get bigger, fatter and work on nerve development. Everything is now functioning to practice for the outside world.
What's also crazy - I have 105 days to go. Which means that during this week, I'll fall into the double digit days. What?? Already??
I thought it was fast when I only had 200 day to go. Now I'm going to be dipping under 100. This baby, he's rushing through this pregnancy, I swear!
This weekend I'm picking up hospital bag supplies. Yep, that panicky feeling that not enough is done is totally overdue and in hyperdrive. Time to grab our first pack of diapers, pack what baby, daddy and I will all need, and maybe even grab some of Katie's supplies for her bag (I'm thinking of everything - so she needs a few pairs of clothing and pajamas, her favorite juice cup, a new juice cup in case she gets cranky - this kid loves new juice cups - and a few other things to go in there for her stay. I'm hoping to only be gone for half a day, but if something changes and I have to be gone for a few days, I want her already as prepared as possible.)
I finally got my tired butt into gear, which means the downstairs is finally clean. All my dishes done at once, the counters and stove scrubbed, the floors vacuumed, the living room organized, the dining room finished of it's make over, the bathroom nice and shiny, etc. Now I can start paying attention to the nursery again. It needs to stop being a storage room and have everything sorted and in place. It's time for it to start looking like a baby's room again!
Of course, looking back at Katie's blog, by 25 weeks I was totally prepared. Nursery was spotless and everything was bought, the hospital bags were mostly ready, the birth plan was written - I was so prepared! This time I'm taking it a bit slower, but not by too much. If it's not all completed by 30 weeks, I know I won't be able to sleep anymore and I'll be working through the night to get things done.
Picture coming later, we're getting ready to take Katie to her new doctor!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
24.5 weeks
Wow, I'm already so close to completing this week. It feels like it's gone by very slow and very quickly at the same time.
It's been a rough week. The exhaustion is getting worse, and I know it'll only continue to do so as I get farther into pregnancy. Even taking a nap with Katie during the day just isn't cutting it. I don't sleep well at night either, and the baby keeps me up late because he's crazy energetic after midnight. He's strong enough where even if I'm sleeping and he starts rolling and kicking, I can't sleep through it. So...exhaustion is pretty much the best way to describe every day of this week.
I'm also having a hard time breathing. I feel asthmatic. Yesterday I rushed up the stairs and then couldn't breathe for five minutes. I understood why and just mentally told myself how stupid that was while gasping for breath. But there are times when I'm just sitting down and I'm not able to breathe. Baby is already at the stage where he's taking up so much room that my lungs are being pushed up and crushed. I don't remember getting like this with Katie until much later in third tri, but it's definitely happening now. For the last week, breathing even while not doing anything can be rough.
There's so much pressure on my lower body right now as well. My tailbone and pelvis feels like they're cracking. I'm waddling now, I'm sure. My belly is sore from all the weight it's holding. Again, this seems so early compared to last time. Third tri with Katie was really rough, I can't imagine how this time is going to be.
But there's good things too. There's less fear having a viable baby now. His movements are so pronounced that I can start to tell what body parts are where. On Sunday, this baby curled up on the surface in a little comma shape at the bottom of my uterus. I could actually feel a lot of his body just cuddled up. It was adorable, and made me yearn for the time when he'll be here and I'll be able to cuddle him in my arms.
This was the best picture I could get of him, it's hard to see but it's something he's only done a few times before:
Here's his Christmas this year: (and I hit two big sales, so everything was half off!)
This is really big, it's a taggie play mat. The baby sits on the belly:
And Katie insisted that the baby needed the matching on the go toy as well:
I just have one more thing I need to get him:
It's been a rough week. The exhaustion is getting worse, and I know it'll only continue to do so as I get farther into pregnancy. Even taking a nap with Katie during the day just isn't cutting it. I don't sleep well at night either, and the baby keeps me up late because he's crazy energetic after midnight. He's strong enough where even if I'm sleeping and he starts rolling and kicking, I can't sleep through it. So...exhaustion is pretty much the best way to describe every day of this week.
I'm also having a hard time breathing. I feel asthmatic. Yesterday I rushed up the stairs and then couldn't breathe for five minutes. I understood why and just mentally told myself how stupid that was while gasping for breath. But there are times when I'm just sitting down and I'm not able to breathe. Baby is already at the stage where he's taking up so much room that my lungs are being pushed up and crushed. I don't remember getting like this with Katie until much later in third tri, but it's definitely happening now. For the last week, breathing even while not doing anything can be rough.
There's so much pressure on my lower body right now as well. My tailbone and pelvis feels like they're cracking. I'm waddling now, I'm sure. My belly is sore from all the weight it's holding. Again, this seems so early compared to last time. Third tri with Katie was really rough, I can't imagine how this time is going to be.
But there's good things too. There's less fear having a viable baby now. His movements are so pronounced that I can start to tell what body parts are where. On Sunday, this baby curled up on the surface in a little comma shape at the bottom of my uterus. I could actually feel a lot of his body just cuddled up. It was adorable, and made me yearn for the time when he'll be here and I'll be able to cuddle him in my arms.
This was the best picture I could get of him, it's hard to see but it's something he's only done a few times before:
Katie used to do the craziest of positions in the womb. Like multiple other things, this baby seems like he's going to start a bit earlier.
I also had a lot of fun buying his Christmas stuff. I decided that since he doesn't have a birthday in the middle of the year like Katie does, I'm going to still buy him Christmas presents so he has toys for his first year. Not to mention, it would feel so wrong to me to have another baby and not have his name on some gifts under the tree!
Here's his Christmas this year: (and I hit two big sales, so everything was half off!)
This is really big, it's a taggie play mat. The baby sits on the belly:
And Katie insisted that the baby needed the matching on the go toy as well:
I just have one more thing I need to get him:
Thursday, August 22, 2013
24 Weeks!
It's Viability Day!
And guess how I started off today? I woke up and checked the mail right away like always and found a little package that I didn't recognize. I have like six packages making their way to me right now, but none due right now and none that small.
When I opened it, I saw that it was one of Elizabeth's charities, from all the way back in January. Of course I had completely forgotten about it. It's a little embroidered hankie in a deep purple thread with her name and the date that it happened.
I haven't received anything for Elizabeth in quite a few months. I wasn't expecting anything else to come. How crazy that today, on Will's Viability Day, I'd get a little sweet reminder of Elizabeth? It just makes me appreciate this day a little more. We've made it to 24 weeks, the safest milestone yet, and our angel is right here to experience it with us.
So what's new this week with Will, besides viability? Lots! By the end of this week, he'll be a whole two pounds and 14 inches long. Holy cow! His ears and hearing are completed, his little tiny fingernails and toenails are finished, his boy parts are becoming more boy like, and his lungs continue to develop and are now able to inflate and deflate.
A few days ago, Bill FINALLY felt the baby. I've been feeling him on the outside since 18 weeks but this baby is so sneaky and didn't want anyone, including even Katie, to feel him. (Though Katie was the same way!) I finally decided to look at it positively - for 23 weeks, I've been the only one in the whole world to feel this baby. Soon he'll be everyone's baby and everyone will know him and be able to touch him but right now, I'm the sole person in the world to know him. It felt pretty neat...and then that night I was sitting with Bill and he hand his hand at the side of my belly and all of a sudden, Will started kicking over there like crazy and erased all of the above. lol, he's so tricky!
As for me, I'm becoming much more hormonal. I never got very hormonal with Katie, especially not in the later months, but this time my emotions are all over. I was literally start crying and then try to figure out why in the world I am acting upset. I have much less patience and I'm grumpier. I thought having a girl made you more emotional, but apparently for me it's having a boy. There's lots of differences in this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Katie and they just continue.
My scale is saying I'm now 132.6. It's what I go by, but in reality (aka, the doctor's office) I'm about two lbs less each time I measure so I'm probably 130. 6 now. Either way, both weights are still in the green and I'm gaining exactly like I should be. From what I read, I should start gaining a pound a week, which made me laugh - I've been gaining a pound a week for most of this pregnancy! LOL. It's third tri where it starts gaining faster.
So far I have no sign of the linea negra. I know I had it really dark with Katie, but looking at my pictures from her, they're all at an angle where I can't see it, so I have no idea when it appeared. I thought it would happen by now, maybe because I'm just so big and feel even further along. I'm sure at some point it'll catch up to me, but I'm surprised with other things changing and darkening that the line hasn't even started. How funny that last time I was so obsessed daily about stretch marks (this time I occasionally check - nothing new or worse and even my scars are less noticable this time) and this time I'm just curious about the dark line.
Picture to come later - I'm too sore to go all the way upstairs and get dressed for it!
Edit: here's this week's picture!
And guess how I started off today? I woke up and checked the mail right away like always and found a little package that I didn't recognize. I have like six packages making their way to me right now, but none due right now and none that small.
When I opened it, I saw that it was one of Elizabeth's charities, from all the way back in January. Of course I had completely forgotten about it. It's a little embroidered hankie in a deep purple thread with her name and the date that it happened.
I haven't received anything for Elizabeth in quite a few months. I wasn't expecting anything else to come. How crazy that today, on Will's Viability Day, I'd get a little sweet reminder of Elizabeth? It just makes me appreciate this day a little more. We've made it to 24 weeks, the safest milestone yet, and our angel is right here to experience it with us.
So what's new this week with Will, besides viability? Lots! By the end of this week, he'll be a whole two pounds and 14 inches long. Holy cow! His ears and hearing are completed, his little tiny fingernails and toenails are finished, his boy parts are becoming more boy like, and his lungs continue to develop and are now able to inflate and deflate.
A few days ago, Bill FINALLY felt the baby. I've been feeling him on the outside since 18 weeks but this baby is so sneaky and didn't want anyone, including even Katie, to feel him. (Though Katie was the same way!) I finally decided to look at it positively - for 23 weeks, I've been the only one in the whole world to feel this baby. Soon he'll be everyone's baby and everyone will know him and be able to touch him but right now, I'm the sole person in the world to know him. It felt pretty neat...and then that night I was sitting with Bill and he hand his hand at the side of my belly and all of a sudden, Will started kicking over there like crazy and erased all of the above. lol, he's so tricky!
As for me, I'm becoming much more hormonal. I never got very hormonal with Katie, especially not in the later months, but this time my emotions are all over. I was literally start crying and then try to figure out why in the world I am acting upset. I have much less patience and I'm grumpier. I thought having a girl made you more emotional, but apparently for me it's having a boy. There's lots of differences in this pregnancy and my pregnancy with Katie and they just continue.
My scale is saying I'm now 132.6. It's what I go by, but in reality (aka, the doctor's office) I'm about two lbs less each time I measure so I'm probably 130. 6 now. Either way, both weights are still in the green and I'm gaining exactly like I should be. From what I read, I should start gaining a pound a week, which made me laugh - I've been gaining a pound a week for most of this pregnancy! LOL. It's third tri where it starts gaining faster.
So far I have no sign of the linea negra. I know I had it really dark with Katie, but looking at my pictures from her, they're all at an angle where I can't see it, so I have no idea when it appeared. I thought it would happen by now, maybe because I'm just so big and feel even further along. I'm sure at some point it'll catch up to me, but I'm surprised with other things changing and darkening that the line hasn't even started. How funny that last time I was so obsessed daily about stretch marks (this time I occasionally check - nothing new or worse and even my scars are less noticable this time) and this time I'm just curious about the dark line.
Picture to come later - I'm too sore to go all the way upstairs and get dressed for it!
Edit: here's this week's picture!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Viability Day!
It's just past midnight, and it feels like I just passed the finish line in a race. Of course, it's not the finish line, no where close, but it is a big milestone.
This baby is now viable!
It feels like such a big event this time. I know bad things still happen after 24 weeks, I understand that. But there's some security in knowing that the chances of survival are much higher this week and that he would now be viewed as his own person, a separate patient with his own team of medical workers if something would happen before it should. That's saying SO much compared to last week, where he'd be considered a late natural abortion and be put somewhere comfortable, not hooked up to machines or treated to help survival. This baby, from now on, has a serious fighting chance of survival outside of my womb if that would need to happen.
And in about two or four weeks? The survival rate sky rockets to about 80% and only continues to climb higher and higher after that.
After spending a full four months scared to do anything, afraid to go to the bathroom or do too much activity or even breathe wrong, this is so huge for me. Everything that happened with Elizabeth happened so recently still that it has impacted this pregnancy in multiple ways. While this pregnancy has been such a blessing physically with no complications, mentally and emotionally it's been very difficult. I struggled a lot in first trimester and part of second trimester. I finally feel like I'm over a hump, but having the security of this latest milestone helped even more.
I feel like I'm mentally throwing myself a little party for the two of us. What's funny is baby, who's been asleep for a while, just woke up to join the party and is dancing away in there. I can definitely believe he's over a foot long now, because wow does he take up so much room! I told Bill how big baby is now and he said "but he can't fit in there that big yet, you're not big enough!" I certainly don't feel big enough most of the time, it also seems like baby is going to pop right out of my skin! He's definitely running out of room and pushing to try and make more. I think he's hoping I start growing, and I think he's going through a growth spurt too. This whole week I've had a normal appetite, nothing big, and then today I could not stop eating. I out-ate Bill and Katie combined!
Just four weeks until third tri. I can hardly believe it! These weeks are going by faster and faster, I'll be holding this baby before I know it!
This baby is now viable!
It feels like such a big event this time. I know bad things still happen after 24 weeks, I understand that. But there's some security in knowing that the chances of survival are much higher this week and that he would now be viewed as his own person, a separate patient with his own team of medical workers if something would happen before it should. That's saying SO much compared to last week, where he'd be considered a late natural abortion and be put somewhere comfortable, not hooked up to machines or treated to help survival. This baby, from now on, has a serious fighting chance of survival outside of my womb if that would need to happen.
And in about two or four weeks? The survival rate sky rockets to about 80% and only continues to climb higher and higher after that.
After spending a full four months scared to do anything, afraid to go to the bathroom or do too much activity or even breathe wrong, this is so huge for me. Everything that happened with Elizabeth happened so recently still that it has impacted this pregnancy in multiple ways. While this pregnancy has been such a blessing physically with no complications, mentally and emotionally it's been very difficult. I struggled a lot in first trimester and part of second trimester. I finally feel like I'm over a hump, but having the security of this latest milestone helped even more.
I feel like I'm mentally throwing myself a little party for the two of us. What's funny is baby, who's been asleep for a while, just woke up to join the party and is dancing away in there. I can definitely believe he's over a foot long now, because wow does he take up so much room! I told Bill how big baby is now and he said "but he can't fit in there that big yet, you're not big enough!" I certainly don't feel big enough most of the time, it also seems like baby is going to pop right out of my skin! He's definitely running out of room and pushing to try and make more. I think he's hoping I start growing, and I think he's going through a growth spurt too. This whole week I've had a normal appetite, nothing big, and then today I could not stop eating. I out-ate Bill and Katie combined!
Just four weeks until third tri. I can hardly believe it! These weeks are going by faster and faster, I'll be holding this baby before I know it!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Healing Lion
Someone on my baby board asked what everyone's baby names mean. I already knew William meant Guardian and Protector, but it had only just occurred to me that I had never looked up what Lee means.
Lee means Lion.
It just feels like more of a connection to Elizabeth. She was our little lion cub. Through my whole pregnancy with her, I called her my little cubby. Her symbol was a lion, and the stuffed animal that I had bought her (and Katie picked out) was a little lion. That little lion was what we cuddled and slept with after my miscarriage to help have SOMETHING to hold. She was our lion. And now a little piece of her is tucked into our little boy's name. How very meaningful, for our child who wouldn't be here without Elizabeth.
Lee means Healer.
How poetic is that? Will is our rainbow. Before him, I think my blog made it very evident that I felt very empty and hopeless. I was shattered, and while I was trying to cope, I didn't know how to heal. How do you move on when such a big piece of your heart is missing? How do you stop thinking of "what should have been?" As much as I tried and struggled, I couldn't put myself back together. And then those two lines appeared and that nurse told me that I was pregnant. While I will never "move on" from losing Elizabeth, Will helped me to slowly piece back my heart and to learn how to step back into the light. He was the glue to my sanity. He was my rainbow in my stormy skies. Will brought me out of my never ending, overwhelming, all consuming pain. He's not even born yet, but he has done so much for me already. I know God sent me this baby to heal me, and heal, as much as ever could be possible, I have.
I love that while this name is a family name, it's something that fits so perfectly for this unique baby and this situation. I love that we hadn't planned it, but yet another tie shows itself. It seems like this baby and Elizabeth are so entwined, it's like they were twins who were meant to inhabit the same space at the same time. Every few weeks, while going about this pregnancy and not thinking about anything in particular, something else occurs to me and seems like it's a little message from Elizabeth, telling me she's watching over us and her beloved little brother. So many times she seems to make her presence known through this pregnancy.
Katie is my Pure Beauty, Elizabeth is God's Daughter and God's Promise, and Will is our little Guardian, our fierce little fiery lion, and My Healer.
Lee means Lion.
It just feels like more of a connection to Elizabeth. She was our little lion cub. Through my whole pregnancy with her, I called her my little cubby. Her symbol was a lion, and the stuffed animal that I had bought her (and Katie picked out) was a little lion. That little lion was what we cuddled and slept with after my miscarriage to help have SOMETHING to hold. She was our lion. And now a little piece of her is tucked into our little boy's name. How very meaningful, for our child who wouldn't be here without Elizabeth.
Lee means Healer.
How poetic is that? Will is our rainbow. Before him, I think my blog made it very evident that I felt very empty and hopeless. I was shattered, and while I was trying to cope, I didn't know how to heal. How do you move on when such a big piece of your heart is missing? How do you stop thinking of "what should have been?" As much as I tried and struggled, I couldn't put myself back together. And then those two lines appeared and that nurse told me that I was pregnant. While I will never "move on" from losing Elizabeth, Will helped me to slowly piece back my heart and to learn how to step back into the light. He was the glue to my sanity. He was my rainbow in my stormy skies. Will brought me out of my never ending, overwhelming, all consuming pain. He's not even born yet, but he has done so much for me already. I know God sent me this baby to heal me, and heal, as much as ever could be possible, I have.
I love that while this name is a family name, it's something that fits so perfectly for this unique baby and this situation. I love that we hadn't planned it, but yet another tie shows itself. It seems like this baby and Elizabeth are so entwined, it's like they were twins who were meant to inhabit the same space at the same time. Every few weeks, while going about this pregnancy and not thinking about anything in particular, something else occurs to me and seems like it's a little message from Elizabeth, telling me she's watching over us and her beloved little brother. So many times she seems to make her presence known through this pregnancy.
Katie is my Pure Beauty, Elizabeth is God's Daughter and God's Promise, and Will is our little Guardian, our fierce little fiery lion, and My Healer.
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